Stories
Getting Married
A young West Virginian girl wanted to go to college at UVA. But her father said " No Way! You're going to By-God West Virginia Univ." Well she got her way and she went to UVA. The first semester went by, and she wrote home that she was getting married to, a man from Richmond, VA named Clarence. Her father said " I'll be damned if my daughter is marrying a man from Richmond, you're marrying a By-God West Virginian boy." So he sent his two sons to UVA to get their sister. In a couple of days they returned. Dad said " Where is your sister?" They replied " We were almost there Daddy and we came up on this overpass that had this sign that read 'Clarence 13'6"' so we turned around and got the hell out of there."
Horses
Two good ol' boys bought a couple of horses that they used to make some money during the summer. But when winter came, they found it cost too much to board them. So they turned the horses loose in a pasture where there was plenty to eat. "How will we tell yours from mine when we pick them up?" one of them asked the other. "Easy," replied the other. "We'll cut the mane off mine and the tail off yours." By spring, the mane and tail had grown back to normal length. "Now what are we going to do?" asked the first. "Why don't you just take the black one?" said the second. "And I'll take the white one."
Hunting
There was a cop on the side of the road when he saw a truck drive by with a cab full of dead birds. He chases the truck down and finds 3 hicks. The cop goes to the back of the truck, sticks his finger up the bird's butt, and says to one of the hicks, "you shot this bird in Utah right?" "Yes" said the hick. "Do you have a Utah hunting licence?" "Yes" and he shows the cop the licence. So the cop goes to the back sticks his finger up another bird's but and says, "did you shoot this bird in Florida?" "Yes," said the hick so he shows him the hunting licence for Florida. Well this goes on for about 10 more minutes. Finally he asks the hicks. "Where ya'll from anyway?" And one hick says, "Well why don't ya stick your finger up our butts!"
Sober
This Redneck felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examining him says, "Well, I can't seem to find the problem, but I think it has something to do with alcohol." The redneck replies, "Well, then, I'll come back when you're sober."
