"IS WAYNE BRADY GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?"
- Wayne Brady on Chapelle's Show.

"You'll need a helmet with lightening bolts on it. We'll call you Liz Lightening. You'll be in charge of fake seductions and real executions."
- if Raf and I were part of a vigilante alliance...

"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30." (Roy Ashley, Washington)
- Lizzie's favorite bad analogy

Setting: An attractive family is sitting around the breakfast nook one morning. Mom and Dad are trying to get little Billy to drink new Minute Maid Orange Juice with Calcium. The idea of drinking calcium is putting Billy off, so he refuses. Mom and Dad insist that despite the addition of calcium, the juice is still sweet. Billy remains skeptical, defiantly snarling...
Billy: "I don't believe you."
Billy's Dad: "Well, who would you believe?"
Billy: "I don't know, Robert Loggia?" In the ad, not surprisingly, an endorsement-thirsty Robert Loggia does indeed show up at Billy's house.
Billy: "Whoa! Robert Loggia!"
Loggia: "Billy, your mom's right. New Minute Maid does taste great, and it's got as much calcium as milk."
Billy: "If you say so, Mr. Loggia!"
Loggia: "Yeah. Enjoy your breakfast."
- This was one of the best commercials of all time.

"I am bored beyond description. Good thing I don't have a gun in my purse, or I would kill myself." - Liz @ class @ RRC.

"You Suck." - what I say to Cam on a daily basis.

"Maybe you should come over here and say that to me!" - Ashley taunting Marcia at the office.

Raf: "Damn reality. One day, I will rule the minds of all humans."
Liz: "You can be the Brain. I'll be Pinky."
Raf: "Sadly, that fits all too well. I have a large head and a weight issue, and you are slightly crazy and tall/slender."

"Obviously you should stay home. Going out is for hookers."
- Raf showing me what a neat fellow he is.

"If I had a nickel for a every time a girl said that to me..." - Corey thinking he's hot

"Maybe the Dingo ate your baby!" - Marcia's favorite Seinfeld quote

"Bad Higgings! Don't you eat Tom Selleck's food!" - Neil taking a Family Guy quote and killing it!

"Coolios!" - the amazing Corey

"Photographic proof showing that Euthanasia can be a good thing." - these are words to live by if you enjoy Cliff Yablonski's pictures.

"You come back to here with my party hat!!! I will eat you!!!" - I think this was from www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com

"Get the power up and win the game!" - memories of Garth's drunken rant.

"That's a SPICY MEATBALL!" -Liz and Numenia being retarded

"How do you make your seafood omelett?"
"You take your eggs, and then you take some seafood..." - Daryl taking a commercial and driving me crazy with it

"Boo-fricketty-hoo!" - Dr.Evil in Goldmember

"Scrimps?" - more classic Michael

"Na Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na Na Na, McChicken Sauce!" - Numenia pretending she works for McDonald's marketing department... to the tune of Missy's "Get Your Freak On"

"(your noun here) IS CURSED!" - Daryl after watching 'The Mummy'

"I AM THAT DAMN GOOD" - Triple H

"Who the fuck is you?" - more wittiness from Mike

"Unbe-fucking-lievable!" - one of many words of amazement from me to Daryl

"OKAY there BUDDY!" - Numenia

"Neener Neener Neener!" - Numenia

"Just Jokes! Just Jokes!" - Numenia

"That shirt is ghey... perfect for Helder!" - that was me helping Numenia pick out a christmas present for her brother in 2001.

"My mom says I'm the handsomest boy in school!" - classic Michael

Black Cheerleader: "Bring it!"
White Cheerleader: "It's already been BROUGHTEN!"
-from movie NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE

"You east coast? I FAR east coast!" - from movie HOW HIGH

Alan: "If Tiger Woods was a girl I'd marry her!"
Liz: "If Britney Spears was a boy I'd marry him!"

"Oh my god! There's a white guy driving a Celica!" - I was amazed!

"I find it every interesting that you use capitals while under the influence of a alcohol, but when you are sober, you seem to avoid them like the plague." - Garth referring to my ONLY mildly tipsy rant after Michelle's birthday party at Safari's.

"JESUS CHRIST!" - kind words from me to a Harveys's customer who pissed me off

"No, Liz, No! Don't rape Michael!" - Shamim

Liz: "My back hurts."
Michael: "What were YOU doing last night?"
Liz: "I hate you."
Michael: "What?"
- pretty self explanatory, LOL

"I'm falling even more in love with school!" - Mike killing that song by Lifehouse that got plaid to death years ago.

"We all's just NIGGIN' IT UP!" - Chantelle changing the words to JaRule's "Livin' It Up" (sorry if anyone is offended - she lives to offend people)

"Shark?" - Lizzie making fun of Mike cuz he kept asking me if I had a Shark card while playing "Go Fish" at Harvey's (we worked really hard)

"Ya'lls just jealous! Ya'lls don't even know me! Ya'lls just want what I got!" - Mike making fun of hicks on the Jenny Jones show

"Who in the blue hell ARE you?" - WWF's The Rock

"J.Lo, can I smell your ass?" - Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog @ the MVA's 2001

"42. Who is your best friend? PALMela HANDerson.
43. Name one amazing thing about them that makes them your best friend? Don't you get it PALM-ela HAND-erson. PALM. HAND.
44. Who are you thinking about and want to be with right now? PALMela HANDerson."
One of Garth's favorite jokes back when he used to talk to me.

"WHAT?" - WWE's Stone Cold Steve Austin

"I'm not a racist, 'cuz my girlfirend is Chinese!" - Mike while he was drunk back in July 2001

"TACO BELL IS JERICHO" - WWF's Chris Jericho selling out... although I did rush to Taco bell to get his poster. So, I'm not sure which one of sold out more.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty..." - Pedro while we were talking about the alcoholic drink "Sour Puss"... yumm.

"Are you questioning my integrity?" -WWE's Kurt Angle

One of my Second Cup customers: "How's the coffee here?"
Me: "I don't know, I don't drink it."

"I have P.M.S. and a gun... now what were you saying?!?!" - Anonymous

"Don't drink and drive...you might go over a bump and spill your beer!!!" - Anonymous

Cyclops: "How do we know it's really you?"
Wolverine: "You're a dick."
-From the movie "X-MEN"

"Conan O'Brien is the greatest entertainer in the world... for me to poop on!!!"
-Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

One Of My Second Cup Customers:[points to a muffin] "What's that?"
Me: "It's A Muffin."

"Ugly van, ugly van, why are they driving you?"
-Chris Kirkpatrick & JC Chasez making fun of Exan's van on The "old school" Hit List

"GO HOME!!!" - Paul Martin from the original season of Making The Band

"I'm wishing cancer upon you!" - Scott in Not Without My Anus ('South Park' Special Episode)