See people who talk like this? [xx xx xx xx xx xx] That's you that is. That's you talking your best.

I see.

You see girls running like this? That's you that is. That's how you run. See your bike? It's a girl's bike

I do not own a bicycle

You do, and it's a girl's one

Well I'd just like to ...

It's for girls. You see those workmans' tents in the road?

I have observed them

That's your house. That's where you go on holiday. See this? This is my drink. You can't have none. mmm, yum yum, tasty

Oh I've just remembered...

Sorry, I'm busy drinking my drink

Your dad phoned me up the other day

My father? What did he say?

[xx xx xx xx xx xx]

La la, can't hear you, speak louder, la la, louder....

Professor Lewis, if we may return to the subject in hand, I have here a copy of your book, origins of the Crimean War. Poo, ugh, poo, it smells of poo

That's because it's been inside your mum's bra

Well it would appear...

That's why it's so very smelly

It would appear that the Sebastopol question is one that will continue heated debate between historians. Professor Lewis, thankyou very much

Thankyou