Chapter 38
I opened my eyes, three hours later, and my voice caught in my throat. A "thin"
gray tube stuck out of the ugly yellow blankets that rested on my body.
"Wake up sleepy head!" Tay whispered, touching my forehead softly. I
smiled.
"I'm not hungry..why?" I pointed out..almost immediately. My eyes
connected with his, and I knew what had happened. "Why?" I asked again. He shrugged,
but I knew he was lying.
"They made me leave the room..I told them no, but she called security..I
tried..I did." Taylor said, his voice soft and fragile. Carefully, not to touch the tube, I
lifted my arms around Taylor's neck.
"I know..I know," I paused, wondering how long this type of "eating" would
last, "I'm scared." I blurted unexpectedly. Tay smiled weakly, and touched his forehead to
mine.
"Me too...but you'll be fine..I know you will!" he whispered in reply. I looked
directly into his eyes, and I urned to kiss him..but didn't. If I did..what would happen? I
would start something that I knew we couldn't finish..or maybe you won't have a second
chance! my mind stated darkly. What do you mean by that? I asked it back. No answer. But I
knew what it meant. I'm gonna die..I know I will. It's sitting in the back of mind, just
waiting for me to come out and realize it. But no matter how hard I try to push it away, its
still there.
Zac turned the last corner to Alyssa's street. Sighing in relief, he stepped onto
her doorway. "Hello?" he whispered, knocking on the front door. No answer. "Alyssa?" he
whispered, knocking harder. No answer. She went back....Zac thought to himself. Turning
away, he started down the street, when he heard his name.
"Zac..Zac..over here!" Alyssa called from behind the back of her house.
With a smile on his face, Zac ran to her.
"Hey? Why you hiding back here?" he asked.
"Shhh!" Alyssa warned. "Quiet..my mom doesn't know I'm here..and I can't
be with her..so I obviously can't live there!" she said. Zac raised an eyebrow high.
"Where do you sleep?" he whispered. Alyssa smiled weakly.
"Back there..in Mrs. Kepner's pool-house." she pointed toward her new
"home". Zac sighed.
"How do you keep your clothes there without getting caught." he asked.
"I don't."
"Huh?"
"I sneak into the house after mom leaves for work..she never goes up in my
room.", she paused then laughed, "she should, coz she has to wash my bathing suit!" Zac
laughed softly.
"Oh.." he said.
"How'd you get out? I thought you were grounded?" Alyssa questioned.
"Oh, that., I finished the work and said I was going to see Amanda."
"Amanda..why?"
"She's in the hospital again. She's not doing good." Zac said, his voice
sounding as if he felt quilty.
"Let's go see here..this way you can be with me, and not get in trouble."
Alyssa said, taking his hand and leading away from the house.
"I don't want to be with Amanda." he pouted, "She was Taylor anywayz, she
doesn't need me to be there." his voice dropped.
"You miss her, huh?" Alyssa stated, knowing that Zac and I were close
friends..until I starting dating Taylor. A shocker right there, for Zac anyways. Zac
lowered his gaze to his feet.
"I dunno. Its weird...-" he said, not really knowing what the right
explanation was. Alyssa kissed Zac's cheek softly then looked at him. "What was that
for?" he asked.
"For being you." she told him. Zac smiled, and the two started to walk.
Alyssa half dragged, half pulled Zac into my room. "Can we come in?" she
whispered, thinking I was sleeping. I wasn't. My eyes were closed but I wasn't sleeping, I
was crying.
"Sure." Taylor said, when he saw me peak out of my left eye. I smiled and
turned onto my back.
"Hi." I whispered. Alyssa and...Zac!..walked into the room. "Zac?" I
questioned, I didn't expect him here..not after the way we haven't talked much. I even
started to think he didn't care about me anymore.
"Yeah, hi, whatever." Zac retorted, not bothering to look at me. My smile
faded, and I watched Alyssa smack him in the arm. Taylor evil-eyed Zac and smiled at
Alyssa.
"Nice to see you again." he said polietly. Alyssa smiled and looked at me.
"Hi." she said, no emotion detectable in her voice.
"Hello." I groaned softly, as I winced back and waited for the pain from the
tube to leave. "Ow...Tay." I cried. Taylor leaned over and touched the tube. The pain
stopped. I sighed and looked at Zac. My eyes pleaded he look at me.
"Are you alright?" Ali asked. I nodded.
"Yeah, its been like that all day. But now it's really starting to piss me off!"
I told her. Taylor laughed.
"No shit..!" he said. I closed my eyes and took his hand away from the tube.
The pain came back. Quickly, not to startle Alyssa, nor Zac, I grabbed Tay's hand back,
and held it until the pain stopped. He didn't say a word, he just pressed on the tube with a
sympathetic smile. "Zac...," he paused, "what is the matter with you? Why haven't you said
one word?" Taylor asked him. Alyssa excused herself, tilting her head as a sign for Taylor
to follow her. "Zac! C'mere and hold this..!" Tay said, grabbing his brother, and placing him
where he sat.
"No..lemme go.." Zac struggled, but then froze when his fingertips touched
mine under my blanket. "What is that?" he asked. Taylor let free of his brother and left
the room.
"My pain in the ass food supply." I snickered. Not at Zac but to myself.
"Oh." he said. I closed my eyes, and hoped he wouldn't be this way.
"Zac..don't be like this..please?" I asked him. Opening my eyes, I connected
my gaze with his. His deep, teddy-bear brown eyes were soft, yet painful and sore as he
looked at me.
"What am I suppose to be like?" he asked back.
"I don't know! Just care about me..please!" I told him. My chest tightened,
and I wanted to cry. For the first time in weeks I found a real reason to cry. Zac looked
down, and pulled his hand away from the tube. A harsh pain attack my stomach, unlike
before, this pain was different. The shock ran up my spine and squeezed at my chest.
Frantically I reached for the tube. "Oww.." I cried, tears streaming from my eyes.
"What? What's wrong?" Zac asked, fumbling his hands under the blanket.
No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't position the tube, and the pain dashed through
my body, leaving me numb, yet stiff and hurt. The pain pricked my toes, my lips, my inner
ears, my chest, my stomach, and my right arm.
"Get Taylor..Zac please..hurry.." I trailed off, my body falling limp. What's
going on? I asked myself. Not at all have I ever felt a pain this strong. This wasn't like this
before! I told myself. It wasn't. It only hurt when the tube twisted, and that only hurt the
spot where it enter my side. The was different. The pain ripped through my whole body,
and I cried. Painful tears tumbled down my face and onto the bare part of my chest bone.
Zac ripped open the door, and ran into the hallway. "Taylor! Taylor!" he screamed.
His body shaking, he turned a corner.
"What? What's going on?" Taylor asked, stepping away from a vending
machine.
"Why are you yelling?" Alyssa asked, biting into a Snicker's bar. Zac panted,
grabbed both their arm's and tugged them toward my room. Taylor pulled away.
"What's wrong with you?" he asked, his hands pressed to his hips.
"Amanda..she's crying..something's wrong..-"
"Did you try the straightening the tube?" Tay asked.
"YES! It's not working!" Zac's voice caught in his throat. Alyssa took Zac's
hands and pulled him close to her.
"Tay go help her! We'll get a nurse." she said, turning and taking Zac
further down the hall. Taylor ran down the hallway and pushed through the door to my
room. My head when limp on my pillow, yet my body was shaking, and I was crying hard.
"Amanda? Amanda!" Taylor's voice peaked, and cracked. He came to my
side, and twisted the tube. I screamed. It's not working..I tried to tell him, but I couldn't.
Nothing in my body worked. Nothing. My eyelids fell heavily and I groaned with pain as he
moved the tube...one..last time.
