Chapter 27
Eight hours later-
I watched Taylor close his eyes as he leaned against a tree. Distant noises of frogs
and birds made Taylor want to jump out of his. "C'mon Amanda. Don't leave me here..in the
AHH." he shrieked as I touched his shoulder.
"Shhh. Calm down..it's just me..Amanda." I whispered my lips close to his
ear. Tay sighed with relief and touched my arm. "I'm sorry I'm late. My shower went cold
and rusty..so I had to wait for it." I lied. I had taken a shower about 3 hours ago. But I
had been ready for 8 hours., unfortunately my nerves is what made me late. I wasn't sure
what would happen tonight, and it sent chills up my spine.
"It's okay. I know how it is." Taylor whispered. I closed my eyes and just
listened to the frogs croak along to their own toon. "How did you get past Duncan..was he
awake when you left?" he asked, his voice shaking. I noticed his touch was cold against my
skin, and his body was shaking.
"Are you okay?" I asked, bringing my hands to his back. He nodded. "Duncan
went out a few hours ago, he won't be home til late tonight..since its a Saturday night and
all." I paused. "He's probably not even aware its 12:30, knowing him." Taylor and I laughed
softly, and then fell silent. Our eyes met and I shook. "Tay.." I trailed off, suddenly
feeling his warm, shivering lips touch my shakily. I slid my hands down into his and held his
hands tight. 'Baby when the lights go out every single word could not express...' My mind
sang..in Scott's voice none the less. My body tensed and Taylor froze.
"Mand?" he whispered, his lips lingering next to mine.
"I'm okay." I assured him, touching his lips with mine. As soon as I feel
deep into his kiss I felt a sudden urge to be back in my bedroom, staring myself down in
my mirror. My body started to shake wildly and I couldn't get Scott's voice out of my
head, and it was driving me nuts! Stop it! Scott! Please, I can't leave Tay..stop it Scott. I
begged myself, half hoping he could hear me. I wished, then, that Scott was in my arms,
kissing me with all the passion in the world. My body tensed again and Taylor pulled away.
"Maybe we shouldn't do this." I dared to say. AMANDA, what are you DOING! Don't give it
up..not for Scott..don't! I screamed at myself.
"Yeah.." Taylor started, but I pressed my lips to his. My body was telling me
one thing, but my heart was screaming something different. My stomach felt as if it were
a ball of puddy, and it was being strected and folded and..ugh..it just hurt so badly. Words
couldn't express the pain I'm feeling right now.
"I just wish it were easier." I whispered finally pulling away from Tay. He
gave me a half smile and his eyes fell into mine. "I can already tell where this would lead
us!" I sadly stated. We would have went all the way., I could tell just by the way he was
holding me close. Tay lingered his lips on mine for a split second and then he pulled a few
inches away from my face.
"Are we..are we..-" he started, but I jumped in.
"Together? One..ono.?" I paused. "Please say we are..please." My voice was
soft and warm. I felt his breath against my face, and he felt mine against his lips. The
forcing dying to draw us together.
"Oh thank god." Taylor voice fell into a sigh of passion. "Amanda..I love you
so much..just be with me...please?!" he stated. Suddenly my heart flew into my throat. I
gaged, realizing it wasn't my heart that was lingering in my mouth.
"I'm..gonna be sick." I choked, spinning around and spreading my lips
allowing the sour, acidic liquid fall onto a bush infront of me. "I shouldn't have had those
Chinese left overs." I mused, wiping my face with my tissue. (I always kept a tissue in my
back pocket) Taylor stepped close to me, and wrapped his arms around my body.
"The left overs that made you sick last week?" he questioned, and hint of
laughter in his voice.
"I think so." I groaned. "I really think I'm going to be sick...again."
"Ohh, then let's get you home." he whispered, pressing his lips against my
soaked forehead. Slowly, we walked toward my house. Deep inside I was crying and I
wasn't feeling very happy with myself. I knew it wasn't the Chinese food, because that
night I had gotten Burger King., but I didn't have the stomach to eat it. I was sick
because of Scott. He was what made me sick..and I knew this wasn't the last time this
would happen.
An hour and a half later- (2:00 am)
Taylor softly tiptoed over to his bed., dropping his shirt beside him. Holding back a
yawn, he kneeled on his bed..making it creak. "Stupid!" he scolded himself in a shallow
whisper.
"Taylor?" Zac groaned with sleepiness.
"Opps." Taylor coughed, deepening his voice. "It's me, Ike. I had to pee..go
to sleep it's late."
"I peed before I fell asleep..I've been in bed all night!" Isaac said, leaning
over his bed post to view his brothers. Taylor quickly squirmed under his covers, and
covered his ears.
"Please...I'm not in the mood to talk about it." he whispered. His voice
blocked by his sheets. Zac hit Taylor's body with a pillow and then sighed.
"Fine..be that way!" Zac whispered. Isaac laughed, and rolled over to face
the wall.
"In the morning I want a full report buddy!" he said. Taylor squeezed his
eyes shut and moaned.
"I'm tired let me sleep!" he whispered before letting himself drift off to
sleep.
I pulled the sheets up to my chin and let my tears soak them.
"It wasn't that bad babe, was it?" Duncan asked, laying down next to my
curled up body. Duncan was home when I got home and I told him I was at the pond. I lied,
saying I forgot to write him a note,even thought I knew I didn't. But the thing that is
really puzzling Duncan right now, is why I'm crying.
"Duncan please." I whined. "Just let me sleep." I sniffled. My tears fell long
and hard, and they showed no signs of stopping. Duncan leaned against my body and kissed
my ear. I shut my eyes and felt him kiss my cheek. "Stop." I bearly was whispering. Duncan
pulled away and touched my face, forcing me to look at him.
"He hurt you, didn't he?" he demanded, looking boldly into my eyes. I shook
my head.
"No.." I trailed., Duncan's grip on my face was hurting me. "Duncan.."
"He did, didn't he?" he asked again, leaning closer to me. I closed my eyes,
afraid to look at him.
"No..I hurt me." I replied. I wasn't lying. I had hurt me, and him even. I was
the one that made myself throw up. I've been doing it for a week. I just think it in my
head, and it happens. I don't eat food, and I still throw up..not meaning to do it. My mind
tells me I have to get out of a bad situation, and I listen to my heart, and it tells me I'm
going to be sick..resulting in the truth. When I went to school yesterday, I threw up at
lunch..and then the nurse sent me home with a book about a disease she believes I might
have. Me, being scared, I threw it away, and didn't go home. I needed time to think,
because I knew I wasn't doing this to myself. Everytime I tried to swallow food it would
just come up again. Duncan brought his lips to mine and kissed me forcefully. I turned my
head and looked out my window. Duncan moved away and stood up.
"If only you knew what you were missing!" he laughed. I sat up and went
over to my window, as if he hadn't said anything. "Your pushing away the one thing that
loves you Amanda. You're going to regret it." Duncan said, walking next to me. I spun
around and looked at him in awe.
"I can't believe you!" I gasped. "You don't love me Duncan..you just want
me!" I whispered bravely. Duncan smiled and raised his hand up, smacking me across the
face. I covered my cheek with both of my hands, and looked at him.
"Your right Amanda. I'm the bad guy." he said stepping away. I closed my
eyes and waited, hoping he'd leave me alone. "Am I so bad if I'm the only guys who wants
you? Taylor doesn't kiss you the way I do..Taylor doesn't want to get close with you..does
he?" Duncan asked loudly. Sighing under my breath, I opened my eyes to see him looking
over my body.
"Please..leave me alone Duncan..-" I trailed off, tasting fresh tears. I
pushed past him and looked myself over in my mirror. Duncan hadn't hit me, he punched
me. The sweetness I was tasting wasn't tears, it was blood from my lip. He cut me with his
ring. Duncan walked behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I struggled and
tried to push him away, but he brought me closer to him.
"I do want you Amanda, I hope you know that!" he whispered in my ear. I
finally managed from his grasp and ran out of the room. Running down stairs, I cried, and
quickly grabbed my jacket. Waisting no time, I ran down the street. About an hour later, I
sat on the swingset in Taylor's backyard. I knew he was sleeping, and no one would notice
me, even if my jacket was orange. In the morning I'd tell him what happened, I'd tell him
about how I think I have that disease..I'll tell him I'm afraid..I'll tell him everything. But
right now, all I need is time to think. I need to stay in Taylor's backyard, the one place I
feel safe right now. Closing my eyes, I imagined Taylor holding me close and kissing my
hands. A shiver went up my spine and I realized Taylor is the only reason I feel safe
anymore. Duncan made me feel safe at night when I was sleeping (alone)..but now that
trust is gone. But then, realizing that, a frightful thought came into my mind. What is
Taylor doesn't want me anymore? After what I did tonight, I don't think anyone would
want me anymore.
