Monday, April 18, 2000
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Isaac flipped through the TV He had just come home from an all-night recording session with his brothers, and while they had gone immediately upstairs and fallen into bed, Isaac had been too wound up to sleep. So in the early morning hours while the rest of the Hanson family slept, Isaac lay awake on the couch. Lamenting to himself that early morning television left a lot to be desired, Isaac finally settled on Howard Stern. Isaac closed his eyes and laid back. From what he could gather from listening to the show, Howard’s guest was a feminist writer from some women’s magazine. Isaac listened to Howard calling the woman a man hater, making comments about her breasts, and all the other usual Howard Stern banter. When the woman began speaking, Isaac’s eyes flew open and he sat bolt upright. It was Taryn. The previous year, Taryn and Isaac had had a five-month long affair. Taryn had been 28 at the time, Isaac 18. They had been exceedingly close and very much in love, despite the fact that she lived in New York and he lived in Tulsa. Things had been going along well … their families were warming to the idea of their pairing despite some initial misgivings, and Isaac had been seriously considering enrolling for classes at NYU to be closer to Taryn and her young daughter, Iris. The bottom had fallen out of Isaac’s world when Taryn had abruptly broken off their relationship via a letter in April of 1999. Taryn and Isaac had not seen each other since. Taryn had not told Isaac where she was going, and she had made sure no one else would, either. It had taken Isaac a while to even be able to function after the breakup. And now, when a year had passed and just when he was starting to feel like he could be okay again, here was Taryn on his television set. Isaac leaned toward the TV to make sure the late hours he had kept weren’t playing tricks on his mind. But there was no mistaking it. She had bobbed her once long, curly reddish-brown hair off up to her ears and she was dressed in a suit, but it was Taryn. Just when Isaac knew he must be seeing things, the words Taryn Mathews, writer, Millenium Woman, flashed across the screen. Isaac turned the volume up and listened. “So you have kids, but no man?” Howard asked Taryn.
Isaac wondered if Howard Stern knew what he was getting himself into. Taryn gave him a steely gaze with her hard, black-brown eyes. “Yes,” Taryn said. “I don’t need a man to be a whole person.” “Is that why you’re such a man hater? Because some guy dumped you with a couple of curtain climbers?” Howard asked. “Actually, I had my first child in college. I never knew the father. It was my decision to have her and to raise her own my own. And I was the one who initiated the breakup with the baby’s father,” Taryn replied coolly. “Are they boys or girls, your kids?” Taryn took a long drink from a bottle of Evian. “Two girls,” she said. “And are they old enough to be asking you questions about why you have no use for men? How old are your daughters?” “My oldest is 10 and the baby is six months,” Taryn said. Isaac’s heart jumped. The show was taped live and broadcast soon after. The baby is six months. Isaac let what Taryn had said process slowly. If her baby was six months old, she had been born in November. Isaac counted backward from November slowly. If she had been born in the 11th month, that meant she was conceived in the second month, which was February. February, Isaac thought. We were together in February. We also spent a weekend together in Chicago and let the birth control thing slip our minds. Isaac bounded up the stairs and shook Taylor.
“Tay,” he whispered fiercely. “Wake up.” Taylor rolled over and squinted at Isaac. “God, Ike, I’m sleeping,” he said. “Taylor, I’m flipping out, man.” Taylor sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. “What’s going on?” he asked sleepily. “Taryn was on Howard Stern,” Isaac said. Taylor looked confused. “What?” “She’s writing for some feminist publication, and I saw her on Howard Stern,” Isaac said. “She said something that’s really flipping me out.” Taylor shrugged. “What did she say?” “She has a six-month-old baby,” Isaac said. Taylor nodded. “And?” “Tay, if the baby was born in November, that means she was conceived in February. We were in Chicago together in February. And we kind of had a whoops.” Taylor cocked his head. “A whoops?” Isaac bit his lip. “We got carried away and forgot about birth control.” Taylor’s blue eyes grew wide. “No way, Ike,” he said. “You think Taryn would have skipped out on you pregnant with your kid?” Isaac shrugged. “It would explain a lot.” Taylor gave his brother a soft look. “You know what would explain her leaving a lot more, Ike?” he asked gently. “If she was pregnant with someone else’s baby.” Isaac looked at Taylor as though he had just delivered a stinging slap across his face. “There’s no way,” he said stubbornly. “You have to consider that possibility,” Taylor insisted. “Don’t go into this thinking this is definitely your baby. You’re just recovering from the last blow. Don’t set yourself up for another heartbreak.” Isaac shook his head. “I have to know,” he said. “How are you going to find out?” Taylor asked. “I’m going to see Taryn,” Isaac said firmly. “I’d be willing to bet this magazine she’s writing for is a Rutner publication. All I have to do is call them, find out where it’s based and show up there.” Taylor looked worried. “Are you sure you want to do this?” “I have to,” Isaac said. “If this baby is mine, Taryn already cheated me out of being there for the pregnancy, her birth and the first six months of her life. I can’t waste any more time.”
channels aimlessly. He was exhausted.
