Isaac stayed “We have some details we need to work out,” he said. Taryn took a sip of wine and raised her eyebrows. “Such as?” “Well, Clara’s last name, for starters,” Isaac said. “I assume that legally she’s a Mathews.” Taryn nodded. “Uh-huh.” “Well, I’d like to change her name to Hanson.” “That’s doable,” Taryn said. “But you’ll need to sign paternity papers. They may ask you to take a blood test or something. I’ve never done this before.” “I’ll do whatever I have to,” Isaac said. “Can you make the phone calls and find out? Since you’re her only legal parent, they’re not going to tell me anything.” “Sure.” “I also wanted to tell you ahead of time that I’ll be consulting a lawyer about visitation,” Isaac said in his most businesslike tone. Taryn furrowed her brow. “A lawyer? Isaac, it’s not necessary to drag this into court.” Isaac shook his head sadly. “I wish I didn’t feel like I had to,” he said. “I’m not trying to be mean and I’m not trying to make this ugly. But I don’t trust you. Not the way I used to. I need something legal and something in writing that says you can’t fly the coop with my kid and disappear for a year again.” Isaac didn’t want to look into Taryn’s black-brown eyes and see the hurt he knew he had just put there. You’re covering your ass, he said to himself. She did this, not you. Don’t you dare feel guilty. Taryn’s eyes filled with tears. “I never thought we’d have to be so formal with each other,” she said. Isaac lowered his soft eyes, avoiding Taryn’s gaze at all costs. He knew what he had to do, and if he let himself get lost in her eyes like he always had before, he would forget his original purpose. “Taryn, what we had was so good and so special,” he said. “But it’s just not there for me anymore, at least not right now. It’s been hurt, and badly. I don’t know if there’s any fixing it. But right now, I need to focus on Clara. I have to protect myself. I know I’m hurting you, but I’ve been hurt too.” Taryn wiped the tears from her eyes. “God, Isaac, I’d take all this back if I could,” she said. “In a heartbeat. Don’t you think I know how wrong I was?” Isaac nodded slowly. “You have no idea how much I want to believe that; to believe in you again,” he said sadly. “But I just can’t. I just can’t leave myself in that vulnerable of a position again. You held all the cards last time, and you chose to cheat me out of things I would have wanted to be a part of. Those are things you can’t take back, and I don’t think it would behoove me to forget that you did them.” Taryn sniffled. “Please don’t bring lawyers into this Isaac.” Isaac shook his head stubbornly. “I have to,” he insisted. “It’s the only way I can be sure I’m covered. It’s not like I’m going to try to take her away from you or anything. I just want to protect my rights and be able to be a part of my daughter’s life. That’s all. And if I thought that you and I could work things out on our own and that I could be sure you’d stick to it that would be fine. But I’m not sure of that. Not at all.” Taryn’s eyes turned defiant. “You’re being really cold about this, Isaac.” Isaac narrowed his eyes at Taryn. “How am I supposed to feel?” he asked her, pushing away his desire to envelope her in a tight hug and tell her that all was forgiven. “Am I just supposed to act like you never fucked me over? Is that it?” Isaac swearing, and using the queen mother of all dirty words at that, made Taryn feel like she had just been slapped across the face. “That’s not what I’m saying,” she said. “You’re not listening to me.” “I am listening,” Isaac said insistently. “I’m just not saying what you want to hear, and that drives you crazy.” “Well, I can see that this is going to get us nowhere,” Taryn said. She was dying inside. She had hoped that she and Isaac might be able to get things at least partially back on track before he left for Tulsa, but it was evident to her that he had no interest in rekindling their romance. “You’ve obviously got your mind made up, and nothing I can say is going to change it.” Isaac felt like a stubborn little boy refusing to eat his vegetables. “Not right now,” he said firmly. “Fine,” Taryn said. “You go back to Tulsa and round up your father’s rights dream team and bring me to my knees. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Getting back at me?” Isaac let out a deep, exasperated sigh and rose from the couch. “And you’re sitting there telling me I’m not listening to you,” he said. “It’s always about Taryn, isn’t it? Well sorry, sweetie, this time there are other people who are more important than you.” Isaac was sorry the minute those words left his mouth, but once they were out in the open there was no taking them back. Taryn started to cry again. “This is great, Isaac,” she said. Isaac knew if he didn’t leave right that minute, his defenses were going to break down. If that happened, he knew that he and Taryn would probably end up spending the night together. He made a beeline for the door as Taryn followed. “I’ll be in touch in a couple of days,” he said. “Fine,” Taryn said. “You do what you have to do.” Isaac hurried to his rented car and slid behind the wheel. He dropped his head in his hands and took several deep breaths, trying to let the hurt, anger and guilt subside. He waited a few minutes, then started the engine and drove away. In the house, Taryn watched until the taillights of Isaac’s car disappeared into the distance. She walked slowly to her bedroom, crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep.
with Clara and Iris while Taryn worked for two days. Since Isaac would be leaving for Tulsa the next morning, on Wednesday night after the girls had been put to bed, they sat on Taryn’s couch and had a heart to heart. A fire roared in the brick fireplace, and Isaac took the initiative to start the conversation.
