Testimony

An encounter with the Living God is something precious to own. Yet there are so many who negate such an awesome privilege. I was one of those for many years. Until one day God saw fit to pull me into his world and change my heart forever. Now I can never deny that I indeed know Jesus.

When I was fourteen I encountered the truth of the cross and the human direction towards hell. On the last evening during a Baptist revival, I went forward to the altar as my friend’s mother cried with joy over my “decision.” However, peer pressure was more real to me than Godly conviction. I was only a believer as much as demons believe for the ensuing ten years. During a brief reprieve, Jay Strack held a crusade in our town. I "re-dedicated" my life to Jesus. Those worldly weeds however can quickly choke out the seedlings of the Kingdom. 

As I became an adult, married, and had my first son, I desired for him to be raised in church. Our family began attending regularly a local denominational church. As new members we gave our assurance of salvation and were water baptized. We plugged in by serving in various ministries and being present often. After years though, I was no closer to a real relationship with Jesus. I did not understand much of the Bible, I did not enjoy praying – especially corporate prayer; and I did not know the presence of God. God however was drawing closer and working out his good pleasure towards me. One day, he opened my realization of hunger for more of his presence in my life.


It seemed suddenly to me, I grasped there was more of God to be had and it was available even to me but I was not getting it. I went down on Sunday mornings for a few weeks to quietly seek the Lord, to have an encounter with him. I wanted to know the God of the Bible. I wanted him to be real to me as he was real to Abraham, Moses, David, and Paul.

I truly believed I was saved by grace and that it shouldn’t be a hard thing to come into his presence. But I was compelled to explain to God that he was like a Tootsie Pop and I was a two-year-old little girl who couldn’t figure out how to get the wrapper off. “Please, God take the wrapper off! I know any two-year-old can get a Tootsie Pop wrapper off, but I can’t. Help me to know you more! I feel like you are not real. But I know you are. When I pray I feel my prayers hit the ceiling. I don’t understand the Bible, but I believe you wrote it so I can glean all I need. Help me Lord, TAKE THE WRAPPER OFF.” I wasn't loud; but I was serious.
 

Not withstanding, nothing happened that I could see. I went home it seemed the same. And for a few more weeks I traveled that aisle with my heart felt prayer laid at the altar. But soon enough I forgot and life went on with unseen changes.