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Words of Wisdom from OSSM's Faculty

• "I don’t know where I am. Where am I?" - Dr. Troelstra (my E&M teacher at OSSM)
• "I was just confusing you, and I succeeded!" - Dr. Troelstra
• "Its gonna be a really nice piece of conductor." - Dr. T
• "That was not a very nice integration" - Dr. T
• "As soon as you think about saying something meaningful, I know you are not on the right track." - Dr. T
• "Working with the palm of your hand is so much easier than working with your finger." (referring to the right hand rule) - Dr. T
• "If everybody would use this stuff, which is the good stuff…" - Dr. T
• "Watt is the unit?" (referring to power) - Dr. T
• "So, for no particular reason, I’m going to change to blue." -Dr. T
• "I always look at a rise as positive." -Dr. T
• "….and it suddenly realizes, "Hey, I’m in a magnetic field, I have to move in a circle, start spinning around…" -Dr. T
• "Write the answers using alphabetical letters." -Dr. Karimipour, my World Lit teacher
• "Brad Pillow knows." Dr. Henderson, my Calculus teacher
• "We all look like our asymptotes if we get far enough away." Dr. H
• "Lets do some other far out stuff." -Dr. H
• "Its a freaky question." -Dr. H
• "I don’t know how this could possibly turn out to be the right answer, but we’ll continue working it anyways." -Dr. H
• "Its a dummy variable, not an idiotic variable, a dummy variable." Dr. H
• "I’ve gone too far." -Dr. H
• "There is something you can add that will give you ultimate truth." -Dr. H
• "These are kinda Mickey Mouse." -Dr. H
• "We like to find alpha sub-zero star." -Dr. H
• "I was just checkin’ to see if I was awake." - Dr. H
• "There’s no free lunch." -Dr. H
• "So, are we gonna shrink away from it like cowards? Yes!" -Dr. H
• "Did you ever wish the world consisted of something nice and simple, like polynomials?" -Dr. H
• "Look at those big ears!" -Dr. H, referring to his shadow
• "What kind of meaning can we establish for this dot dot dot?" -Dr. H
• "Here is the hyperbolic tangent written in the crude language of the natives." -Dr. H
• "…or they might utter some Bangladeshi phrase that means the same thing…" -Dr. H
• "Well, rah-dee-doo-dah." -Dr. H
• "Its one of the slowest increasing functions in the universe." -Dr. H
• "We massaged the thing, until out came something we could deal with." -Dr. H
• "I had to walk over to the 7-11 and call Phyllis and tell her I was messed up again." -Dr.H
• "That’s okay, you just slipped back a couple of centuries in thought…" - Dr. H
• "A little freaky thing happened." -Dr. H
• "Okay, back to the destruction of the sin(x) function…" -Dr. H
• "When it works, it works fantastically, when it doesn’t, it works, well… terribly." -Dr. H
• "Quick and dirty, the pecking order of functions." -Dr. H
• "Was this some mental problem the author had?" -Dr. H
• "….and now, a new topic, just as boring as the old one." -Dr. H
• "Improper integral… it doesn’t mean that it didn’t obey the formal rules of society."Dr.H
• "If all else fails… inverse hyperbolic tangent." -Dr. H
• "No friendship please, that could lead to dancing." -Prof. Turpen, junior history teacher
• "Kissing in student lounge is like butterfly in meadow, both may be stepped upon by Professor Gleason." -Prof. Turpen
• "You guys, get out of the hall and go talk in there. Do this now." -Prof. Turpen
• "Rome was a lot like the 20th century, there was a lot of sex." -Dr. Lawson, Western Civ.
• "They didn’t think much of marriage, monogamy, heterosexuality…" -Dr. Lawson
• "The story tells about his experiences as an ass." -Dr. Lawson
• "Claudius didn’t feel very well for a while, then he died." -Dr. Lawson
• "The Egyptians were a lot like Neil Diamond, Frank Sinatra…" -Dr. Lawson
• "Be happy, watch dancers, that’s what life is all about." -Dr. Lawson
• "He was, for one thing, a very strange looking man." -Dr. Lawson
• "Nero was really quite weird." -Dr. Lawson
• "He was one of the…uh…he was a louse." -Dr. Lawson
• "Since you, uh, brought up sex…" -Dr. Lawson
• "There’s something undignified about using paper towels." -Dr. Lawson
• "Its better to have emperors who are fisherman than emperors who are debauched."
• "He was, therefore, not an adequate successor, because he was dead." -Dr. Lawson.
• "Homey don’t play like that." -Dr. Erkal, my astronomy teacher
• "Just put the cards away and start drinking." -Dr. Erkal
• "Mercury and Venus hang together." Dr. Erkal
• "We should go up on the roof, it would lower the percent error." - Ken
• "Yes, but it would increase other errors." -Dr. Erkal
• "Are you all okay? Would a Viagra joke help?" -Dr. Li, A&P and Embryology teacher
• "A gonad is a gonad." -Dr. Li
• "I’ll use your own words: Bite me!" -Dr. Li
• "The sperm is wearing a cowboy hat." -Dr. Li
• "It doesn’t look like a duck, it doesn’t quack like a duck, It is not a duck." -Dr. Li
• "When it gets naked, the embryo gets very excited." -Dr. Li
• "Spicy foods hurt you in both ends." -Dr. Li
• "The reproductive system is a very noble system." -Dr. Li
• "The head is more sexy than other places." -Dr. Li
• "If you poke them, they get excited." -Dr. Li
• "Nobody knows what you’re smoking, Ken." -Dr. Li
• "…which means you need to eat more hamburgers, french fries,…cheese pizza, pizza, pizza, with heavy amounts of cheese…" -Dr. Li
• "Ha, ha, I’m ready to ovulate." -Dr. Li
• "When I say S-E-X, everybody says, "Yeah!"." -Dr. Li
• "Transverse is parallel to the ground, assuming the earth is flat." -Dr. Li
• "You don’t use your butt to feel something, do you?" -Dr. Li
• "The nucleus is the White House of the cell." -Dr. Li
• "You pull the thing and that’s when the pig starts to scream." -Dr. Li
• "Yeah, we can take a pee pee break." -Dr. Li
• "You have to grab it, and pull the damn thing in." -Dr. Li
• "Those sodium ions, they have a good time." -Dr. Li
• "I went to Canada to fight in the Vietnam war." -Dr. Li
• "Next we’ll do Lab 4, having completed Labs 2, 3, and 1." -Dr. Li
• "Its Friday, you wear nothing." -Dr. Li
• "Which came first, the egg or the dog?" -Dr. Li
• "The head is balanced on the top … yes, we’re still talking about the spinal column." -Dr. Li
• "Dr. Li’s a pervert." -student "Yeah, proud of it." -Dr. Li
• "The Golgi apparatus, named after someone named Golgi." -Dr. Dell, Biochem. Teacher
• "The state, this year, really kinda screwed us over." -Dr. Dell
• "I could look at urine all day long." -Dr. Dell
• "I hate to b*tch." -Dr. Dell
• "Eric…what a doofy guy." -Dr. Dell
• "Most of them will be turned on by inorganic phosphate." -Dr. Dell
• "We have a test on Thursday, be there, or be square." -Dr. Dell
• "The T-lymphocyte gives it the "kiss of death"." - Dr. Dell
• "Don’t be such a weanie." -Dr. Dell
• "The four F’s: Flight, Fright, Fight, and Sex." -Dr. Dell
• "They are really limited by reality." -Dr. Dell
• "I know the burning question on everyone’s mind is: Just what is acetyl CoA?" -Dr Dell
• "You can just ignore it and think that I’m full of bull roar." -Dr. Dell
• "You guys are kind of looking zonky." -Dr. Dell
• "Yeah, you could drink Clorox and kill all the viruses, but you wouldn’t last long yourself." -Dr. Dell
• "You go to Europe and you don’t see chunks like you do here." -Dr. Dell
• "Dr. Dodd runs around gossiping the latest news. Your teachers would rather hear it from you, the horse’s mouth, so to speak…as opposed to the other end." -Prof. Gleason
• "You guys come and go. You’ll be here 2 years. I know, I know, it’s a pain in the butt, it’s miserable, it’s prison, it’s Hell. Yeah well, look at me, I’ve been here forever…"
• "Why does everyone want to be you, Brad?…maybe its because you’ve got the best girlfriend." -Prof. Gleason (only time he’s ever been right…J)
• "You always look so guilty, but I know you’re not." -Dr. Dodd
• "Did you just get your eyes dilated, or are you just being weirder than usual?" -Dr. Dodd