~*Net/Puter Jokes!*~
These are some jokes I have found, that made me laugh till I was in tears. I hope you like them to. And by no means is this meant to be offensive to ANYONE, it is just harmless fun. If you think you may be offended by this, please leave NOW! Thanx! have fun :)
You Know You Are An Email Junkie If.......
- You get a tattoo that reads- This hip best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher.
- You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
- You decide to stay at uni for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.
- You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.
- You start using smileys in your snail mail.
- You suffer anxiety when you don't have access to your computer. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem.......And you succeed .
- You start introducing yourself as 'Mal dot net dot au'.
- All of your friends have an @ in their names.
- Your cat has it's own homepage.
- You can't call your mother, she doesn't have a modem.
- You check your mail. It says 'no new messages', so you check it again.
- You start tilting your head sideways to smile :)
- You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are because they have neutral user names and you never bothered to find out.
- You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
- You tell the taxi driver you live at 'http://www.365.big.house/rendered.html'.
10 Reasons Computers Must Be Male
- They have a lot of data, but are STILL clueless.
- A better model is always just around the corner.
- They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
- It is always necessary to have a backup.
- They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
- The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
- In order to get their attention you have to turn them on.
- The lights are on, but nobody's home.
- Big power surges knock them out for the night.
- Size does matter (JOKING!!!)
Reasons Why Email is Like A Penis
- Those who have it would be devistated if it were ever cut off.
- Many of those who don't have it would like to try having it (email envy).
- If you're not careful it can spread viruses.
- If you use it too much you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
- Everyone thinks it is far more important than it actually is.
- If you're not careful it has a way of getting you into lots of trouble.
- When the system is down, no-one is happy.
- If an email comes with a virus, it can wreck havoc with the whole system and make you wary of using it again.
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