The first and most important thing to realize is that Johnny wasn't exactly playing with a full deck. He had a few screws loose, a couple marbles rolling free. You get the point. And Amy, Jaimee, and Katie, they weren't his friends. You see that's what everyone would like to think, but those three young ladies were the rock which knocked free the bolts holding together his head. They followed him everywhere. They called him 15 and a half times a day. How can you make half a phone call? How do I know? I'm just telling the story, but trust me, they did.
In any case they drove the poor boy insane. They never left him alone, and it cost him.
I suppose the story, the real story began one night about 3 years ago. Johnny was out in his local cow pasture, thinking. He had gone there since he was a boy to think. The cows were his friends, they never bothered him, and they were peaceful. Unlike SOME girls who attended his school. Besides the sweet perfume of cow pies always helped clear his head. Like I said, he was crazy.
So one night, about three years ago, Johnny was in his thoughtful mode, when suddenly out of the middle of nowhere there appeared a bus stop and an old, bald, big-toed man siting upon it.
So, being the nice young man that Johnny was he went over and said hello. Strangely enough without a reply the man began to blabber about the sky. Then, in a flash everything turned white.
Johnny didn't know what had happened, but when he woke up he was greeted by many unshaven people in underwear.
"Where am I?" Johnny asked.
The strange man from earlier picked up a yellow walkie talkie. "Hello Mother bird? This is baby bird. It's good to be back in Albertane." He said.
Johnny looked around. Things were so strange. He followed the strange man from the bus stop, and learned that the man was actually from Milwaukee. Through conversation by yellow walkie talkie, of course. The man then showed him into their house.
There the two of them preside, along with Paula Cole. Because the people of Albertane don't shave and neither does she.
He would be happy there, except Paula keeps looking for some damn cowboy, and she mistakes Johnny for one, and that pisses him off a bit. So he sends out distress signals which echo in the halls of his school. Miraculously Taylor Hanson has a tendency to hear them, even though he doesn't go to Johnny's school. And Taylor has been wondering what happened to Johnny, seeing as his picture disappeared from the yearbook. However, this is disturbing as well since Taylor doesn't go to that school so why does he have the yearbook? But I suppose Taylor is just "special" that way.
So, who can we blame for the misfortune of this poor boy? I mean, it's got to be horrible to get mistaken for a cowboy by an unshaven woman in her underwear everyday! Well, I would have to say that Zachary Walker Hanson is the culprit. His "genious", if you want to call it that. Created the world of Albertane and the strange, bald, big-toed man from Milwaukee. And if it wasn't for that this event never would have happened. On the other hand we could blame it on Amy, Jaimee and Katie's parents. Afterall, if it wasn't for them Johnny never would have gone crazy. In any case, now you know the story. You decide.
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