That's Kind of the Point Isn't It?
Taylor's Story
Get away from that window, you could fall out and kill yourself.
That's kind of the point isn't it?
What are you talking about?
Exactly what you think I'm talking about. Don't play dumb with me, you know what's going on.
But why? You've so much going for you!
Like what? Tell me what's going good for me? Are you referring to the friends who left me alone when I needed them most. Or maybe to my family who supported me while it benefited them and then left me as soon as it was inconvenient. Or maybe all the two groups together who, while I was trying to find the remains of myself the current shadow of my being, gave me false support which succeeded in nothing more than my further alienation. Now, that all insanity in completely out of my reach, maybe you're talking about how the wonderful people in my life and left me here, and have allowed me to sit on this window seal.
Okay, so maybe things weren't so great. But look at what you're thinking of doing. I know you; you're too scared of yourself and what you actions will produce to actually do this.
You're wrong.
Fine, but I won't let you do this.
I'll always find another way.
Didn't you always say you never wanted to hurt anyone?
Yeah.
That you would always live and love certain things and people?
That was then.
But then is not so far away from now.
I don't know what "things" you're talking about.
The music?
Silence.
The fans?
What about them?
They love you, they adore you.
They abandoned me. As soon as we weren't so popular anymore, as soon as we disappeared for a second they left. They left us for the Backstreet Boys; they left us for the Moffatts. They left us for a cheap, fake boy group and for a band that was nothing more than a lame copy of us from a different record company. Don't tell me the fans love me, don't say they adore me, because all they've ever done is leave me.
But weren't they, aren't they a little bit important? There are some who are loyal, there are some who still care, aren't they important to you?
Yeah.
Wouldn't you stay for them?
They don't want me like this.
How do you know?
I am a shadow of who I was. I'm hardly even a person. They don't want me like this.
Taylor, I won't play this game with you. We've been playing it for too long.
I agree, Taylor.
You need help.
That's what they were supposed to be giving me here.
But you're not working with it.
I am too.
No you're not. Let's not argue that's childish. We're going to be 18 in a few hours.
We won't make it to then.
You can't jump.
Yes I can. All I have to do is close my eyes; think of a happy thought, and it's all over.
You'll kill us both.
So, then we can both rest.
I don't want to rest; I want more of life.
We gave our lives to others. We gave them music and it cost us our lives and our sanity. We were one, and now we're two. That is what life has done to us, it wasn't worth it.
You said all you have to do is think of a happy thought?
Yep.
So think of a happy thought. One that will help you stay.
Like what?
Think of the tours. Of all the amazing places we got to see. Think of Jillian, and Amanda.
The tours were long and stressful. The plane food to get to the places was the worst thing on the face of the earth. Jillian cheated on me, and Amanda thought I cheated on her.
Taylor, you're such a pessimist.
I only see things as they are.
Taylor please. Stay for me, stay for yourself. We can work this out. I can help you. Please, Taylor.
You're so selfish. You don't care about me; you only care about yourself.
I care about the future; I care about us, since you sure don't seem to.
I want a new future. I want to start over again. And I can do it. All I have to do is jump.
That's not the way it works.
Sure it is.
Taylor closed his eyes and leaned back his head. He had a pounding headache. They had been arguing all day. He was ready for sleep. His head lurched forward, sleep overcoming him. He shut his eyes tighter. Picturing his favorite memories...
He was running around in the yard chasing Isaac and Zac chasing him with squirt guns. They were laughing they were having so much fun. Then Isaac climbed up the tree; it was very high...
Taylor opened his eyes, and he looked down. It was very high, just like the tree. Taylor had always wanted to be like Isaac. He was always the smartest, and the most talented out of all three of the brothers.
Isaac. Won't you miss Isaac?
Yeah.
Isaac would miss you.
I know.
He'd be very sad without you.
He'll be able to deal with it.
Are you sure? Remember the time you got the fever? He locked himself in his room and wouldn't come out when they took you to the hospital and they wouldn't let him come.
I remember that. He told me he didn't know what he'd do without me. He was the best brother in the world.
Taylor leaned back against the edge of the building. Tears slowly dripping from the corners of his eyes. Isaac. All he could think of was Isaac. Of all the people, the only one who was always there for him no matter what was his big brother. Could he leave him? There was a war inside his head, and he ached all over. Surely no God would have wished such a thing upon any of his creations. He allowed himself to reminisce once more.
They were singing. It was at a small performance and they had just gone onto the stage. Zac had had horrible stage fright; he had thrown up before taking the stage. Luckily Isaac and he had been able to calm him down. There were people all around them, cheering and showing appreciation for the music. It was an incredible feeling...
Don't you want that feeling again?
That I could fly? That I could do anything?
Yeah.
Yes I want that feeling. I want to fly.
And Taylor opened up his arms. "I can fly." He whispered. He closed his eyes, he saw Isaac smiling and laughing. He smiled and laughed.
"C'mon, let's do it!" Zac grinned, standing at the entrance to the ride. "This will be so cool."
"Yeah, really cool." Taylor mumbled. He smiled.
"Be careful, make sure you don't hurt yourself." Dad was standing, video taping everything.
"But that possibility is what makes it thrilling." Zac said.
"Thrilling." Taylor repeated.
"Well thrilling things are dangerous, so don't get too thrilled." Dad laughed.
Zac rolled his eyes, and grinned back. "That's kind of the point isn't it?"
They were towed up in the air.
"Get ready guys." He could hear Isaac say.
"I'm ready."
"Here we go!" Isaac called out.
They fell down towards the ground, screaming with delight...
...then he opened his eyes.
In memory of Taylor Hanson
Born March 14, 1983
Deceased March 14, 2001
Taylor was a gift to us all,
in soul, in voice, and in heart.
May he rest with angels.
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