HUGH'S MEATY COLUMN
London 16 Saints 34
Initially, it all looked like it was going wrong, but Ellery (to his credit) took my advice (he's a big fan of this column you know!) and got rid of that stupid hat. Which just shows what a down-to-earth kind of guy he is - not too big to take a bit of criticism. He even said in the after-match interview "I've taken my hat off to the players".
Now Ellery, all we gotta do now is work on that smile and we'll have it cracked. I can just see it now, you'll be as popular as Frank Bruno soon, with your own special box on Celebrity Squares - all you gotta do is take my advice.
A game of two halves, to coin an old phrase - and too many cooks are worth a stitch in time in the bush, to coin another. London dominated the first half with Saints making too many basic errors. They put us under a tonne (metric) of pressure and our defence wilted in the aftermath. In London's first try Sculthorpe fell for the dummy again as he had with Florimo the week before, so I suggest that Scully does some intensive 'dummy training' in the coming week.
It wasn't that Saints were that bad in the 1st half - it was just that London were better. We scored a couple of superb tries following great work by Tommy Martyn from his sky high kick to his long pass outside to Sully, who did really well to get around the last line of defence and dive over in the corner.
Great tactics again pin-pointing kicks to weak players like Tosser Tullet and Fartin Offiah, - I had to laugh when Tullet got smashed in the face by one of Tommy's towering bombs, and Offiah had one bounce off his back - how embarrassing for the poor boys!!
I thought that Saints 'old boy' Karle Hammond had a decent game for London along with Beazley, Offiah and the guy who broke his arm, who I really feel sorry for due to him missing what would have probably been one of the biggest games of his career at Wembley. Hugh wishes you a speedy recovery - whatever your name is.
Peter Gill however - should be shot with shit - enough said!
The second half was a complete turn-around, with Saints winning that half by 24 to 2, they must've had a few stern words from Ellery in the dressing room at half time - either that or he threatened to put his sad hat back on if they didn't perform better.
The highlight (for me) of the 2nd half, was Appollo's break from a spilled London ball - How fast can he run for a Front Row Forward? And a sweet pass to Sully for his second try.
Newlove and Chris Smith didn't appear to be too effective in the game, unlike Kevin Iro who wanted a piece of everything. Freddie however, seemed to be enthusiastic but didn't seem to have the effect he's had in the last couple of weeks - I mean even Offiah managed to tackle him (twice!!)
My Man-Of-The-Match has to go to Atcheson for a number of reasons, firstly his three superbly taken tries, secondly his solid defence and ability to defuse the bomb (I hope Tullet was taking notes), and thirdly his ability to look and talk like a man who has absolutely NO teeth. It's the first time I've seen him being interviewed, but he looked just like my old Dad just before bedtime after he's put his teeth in a glass of Sterident ™. But at least he was pretty coherent and didn't keep saying "You know" after every third word (take note Joynty).
Mr Cunningham again came a close second with his powerful running from dummy half, score three next week Kieron and I'll give you the official M.O.M. award.
All in all a pleasurable result, after which the boys can (at last) go and get absolutely shit faced - I do hope that Ellery is buying, because he certainly owes the boys a few beers after three superb results in the last eight days. Then again, if we lose the next game ………………………… it could be a case of NO MORE BEER UNTIL THE END OF THE SEASON, Who knows???
HUGH'S ARSE OF THE WEEK
With Danny Arnold no longer being available, Paul Atcheson playing out of his skin, and us being away from home - so I can't have a go at NobHead Sexton, the award this week must go to the Broncos Coach - DAN STAINS - just for having such an unfortunate name, it's a good job his parents didn't christen him "ZISM" instead of Dan. I wonder if he spent any time in the Navy, where he would have been known as SEAMAN STAINS.
