By Madison
Copyright 1999
The rain, which had commenced trickling down soon after the express riders mounted up, was now barreling to the earth. Each monsterous raindrop attacked those foolish enough to be ‘out-and-about’, giving the riders slick, muddy trails as gifts.
“I don’t understand it,” Lou began as she scanned their soggy surroundings. “How far could they have gone?”
“Who knows,” Cody mumbled back. “Maybe they walked themselves to the market.” Hell, the Rhodes were planning on taking the little piggys there any how. Maybe the smelly beasts decided to save them a trip?
“I don’t see us being that lucky, Cody,” Jimmy answered before halting his palomino. Then the bushes rustled and all eyes turned to find three of the plump critters abandoning their cover. Evidently, they were finished dining beneath the dying plant.
“There they are,” Lou whispered. “What to we do now?”
As quiet as a mouse would wander past a dozing cat, Cody unhooked his lasso and dismounted from his horse. Lou and Jimmy glanced at each other, both sporting ‘Oh No’ across their faces.
“Cody,” Jimmy began with a bad feeling nestled in his gut. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” First off, these ‘little piggys’ they were sent to round up were nothing like the piglets Emma kept. They were fat creatures, each carrying a good sixty to seventy pounds of bacon on their chubby little legs. Catching these hogs was gonna be no Sunday stroll. “Cody-”
“Shhhhhh, Jimmy!” Cody demanded before inching closer to his prey. “I know what I’m doing!”
As the lasso’s giant loop swished in the air, Jimmy bowed his head. He was almost afraid to watch the chaos seconds from unfolding. What the hell was Cody thinking?
Seneca’s Finest Restaurant
The joy of fine steak seemed to put Colter in very pleasant mood, though his table manners were enough to kill my appetite. Henry, yellow all the way through, sat trembling in his chair, unable to eat. However, he did manage to keep a firm grip on his butter knife. What ever good that would do him.
“Well, Mr. Colter,” I began after pushing my unfinished veal to the center of our small table. Next I reached for the pen and paper I almost forgot to bring to our little meeting. In fact, Colter got quite testy earlier when we had to back- track to retrieve them. “I’m waiting to hear all about your close encounters with Wild Bill.”
He nodded while guzzling down his third glass of blackberry wine. A man with unlimited talents, obviously. How fortunate I felt to be seen in his awing presence. Yeah- If only I could fool myself into believing my own sarcastic lies.
“As soooooon as we agree on my com-pen-sation,” Jake slurred. Then he poured yet another glass, slipping foolishly closer to blissful drunkenness. He had under estimated me. He figured me for senseless writer, who knew nothing of real life, and certainly wasn’t clever enough to trick a rough, tough bounty hunter like himself. Well, sometimes the *hunter becomes the game. (* an oldies song title).
Piggy Adventures......
“WHOOOOA!” The roper shrieked as his captured prey commenced battling the lariat’s wicked hold. “EASY PIG!”
Jimmy, though sympathetic to Cody’s desperate pleas, just sat and watched the ‘expert’ hog catcher at work. After all, he knew what he was doing?! Why interfere?
Then the battle heated up as the porker used his ace- the ace of mud. Only a true pig (though Cody did eat like one) would be able to manipulate the soggy earth to his (or her. Why be sexiest?) advantage. And that’s just what Cody’s plump opponent did.
“NOoooo!” Cody wailed after discovering the swine’s evil plot. BAMP! Oops, too late. As the evil villain bolted gracefully through the sloppy muck, Cody sailed face first into it, scattering the other ‘bad guys’. But Cody was a determined fellow, and wouldn’t let go of his ‘leash’.
“Should we-” Lou began only to be silenced by Jimmy’s die hard laughter. A fit of giggles she quickly joined as Cody continued on his ‘sleigh’ ride. Well, she had to give him some credit. Though he couldn’t wrestle hogs worth spit, he was sure good for a laugh! “Well,” she declared after smothering her amusement. “We got work to do.”
Jimmy nodded as his horse to trailed behind Lightning. And though his laughter was muffled, it still shook his body and brought tears to his eyes. How the hell was he even staying in the saddle? He was intoxicated with laughter!
To The Journalist!
My confidence soared as Jake swayed in his chair. Blessed wine can enchant even the darkest of souls! Now was the time to cast my scheme into action. “Whatever your price, I shall pay it,” I announced loudly.
“Now your seein’ things my way,” Jake declared. “I want one-hundred dollars.”
His body hung mid-way across the table showering me with his hideous dragon breath. I pretended not to notice. Don’t ask how.
“Sounds fair,” I lied. “To confirm our agreement, let’s say we put it on paper?” He nodded like a good little drunk while I began scribbling down the contract. Once finished I placed the paper before him and stated “Now, just put your mark on the line below, and-”
He swooped up the article, and examined it as best a drunk can do. Then, he gratefully accepted my pen and presto! Our agreement was signed with Henry as a witness.
As he struck up one of his famous cigars, I re-read my contract with joy. The tiny article ensured great wealth. For me anyways. Too bad for Mr. Colter. He was in for a nasty surprise.
On to Chapter Five
