Lou and Thomas returned to their hotel and the resident doctor checked Lou's face and arm. They were only scraped and would heal swiftly and leave no scars.

Lou laid on her bed and thought about the evening, not a day that she would want to remember. It wasn't doing her any good to live in the past. She knew she should take off the blinders and go back to life.

The next morning Louise and Thomas took breakfast in their suite. She looked at him and realized that she owed this man a lot. He saved her when she was ready to give up. Now was time to come clear and tell him the truth about herself, her name, her past and how she felt about him.

Watching him, she saw something familiar to someone else but she couldn't place it. Who did he remind her of?

"Willow, how are you feeling this morning? Wouldn't you like to rest some more today? What is the matter?" his concern for her very evident.

"I'm feeling fine and I like to spend the day with you here talking. There something I'd like to explain to you." Lou responded.

"You don't owe me any explanations. If there are some things you don't want to tell me, don't. I like you just how you are, beauty and bumps and all. Are you sure you want to tell me your life secrets?"

Lou couldn't hold in the laughs. He was trying so hard to stop her and yet wanted to hear what she was ready to tell him. Smiling she said to him, "I want to clear up some untruths that I told you. I didn't know you or what you really wanted from me back there in Missouri so I sorta lied about my name. The Sioux did call me a name that means Willow because I was shaped like a willow branch. It was what I'd been called for five years so it was the easiest name to give you. My real name is Louise McCloud, but I usually went by the name of Lou."

"I figured out that much, that Willow or Will or Billy wasn't your real name but you have the right to go by any name you want to. Please take a minute to think about what you are about to tell me. I'm not your priest and I don't need to hear your confession." Thomas looked out the window and then back at Lou ."I really care about you, Lou, and I don't want you to think that you must bear your soul to me."

"I need to tell someone the things that happened to me. Maybe if I tell you my past it won't haunt me so much."

"Have you had those nightmares again? I haven't heard you screaming in the night."

"Yes, they still come. Last night was bad again, I even saw that man that was coming out of the police office in my dream. It was like I should know him. Some-times I see things about you, things you say that remind me of someone I have met. But I can't place it or who it is.

"Please let me continue." Her eyes pleaded with him to listen with an open mind to what she had to say.

Thomas nodded his head and said, "I'll listen, I must admit I have always been curious about your past but I didn't dare ask. Go ahead."

"I never had much of a home life. My mother died when I was little. I have a younger brother and sister. A foundling home in St. Joseph took us in. Our father was an outlaw but he's dead, too. I ran away from the orphanage after five years, but I left my sister and brother there. I worked around at several jobs trying to make a living. There isn't much choice out there for a girl with no ma, no pa, no kin. I saw the ad from Russells, Major and Waddel for riders for the Pony Express. Putting on a pair of pants, a shirt, a vest and cutting my hair real short I passed as a boy. I even wore glasses to hide my face. They hired me. I could ride real good and I knew how to shoot. I was sent to ride out of the Sweetwater station. I lived in the bunkhouse with five other boys.

I planned to save all my money and get my brother and sister out of there. What I hadn't planned on is falling in love with one of the other riders. He discovered me after I got shot but he kept my secret. The others found out after a while but he never told on me. It was hard to live with someone that way. Things would happen that he wouldn't get back to the station for a while or I'd be gone and I would just about die waiting to see him again.

After that I was never able to be treated like a lady. Not until you did. We were never able to do things that other couples did. One of us always had to leave on a run or deliver special messages for the army or the marshal.

The last Christmas we spent together he gave me a special necklace and we promised to get married as soon as the Express went out of business. We knew that would happen within the next year. Too many other things happened the next spring that we never were able to marry. He's dead now so why do I still see him in my dreams? If I didn't know that he was dead, I could have sworn that man we saw last night was him."

Thomas stared at the floor. He imagined that this girl experienced a hard life but the story he just heard almost made him cry. Looking at Lou he saw a face hurting but also a look of pain releasing tension. "What happened to him? Are you sure that he died?"

"Yes.I saw him shot at point blank range in the head. He was shot by the same Shosone brave that took me hostage. I saw him fall to the floor as I was dragged from the station. I never saw him again." She shut her eyes but the tears still rolled down her face. Behind the eyelids the entire scene was playing before her. She had shut out that time for so long but it came back as if yesterday.

Thomas came over to her and held her tight. "Let the tears come. Let them wash out all of your sorrow and pain."

Her control broke and she sobbed until she could only get her breath by taking in great gulps of air. After several minutes she was all cried out. Thomas gently lead her back to her room.

"Go to sleep and let your heart take a chance to heal." he told her as she crawled into bed. She didn't reply but shut her swollen and stinging eyes. Hopefully, sleep would come without the usual visitor, nightmares.

Thomas left the suite and went to the front desk. "Excuse me," he approached the clerk."Would you know if there would be a young man that could assist me this evening. My daughter is not feeling well and I must attend a function this evening. I need someone to help me with my chair and other things. Do you know someone I could hire?"

"I know someone who would be good help for you. He's a young man that happens to be looking for a job."

"Would you be able to contact him for me? I would need him here by 6:30 tonight.He would have to be dressed to go to a banquet and be available at my beck and call. It won't be a party for him, but I do pay well."

"Yes sir, I'll have him here and ready at 6:30."

"Here's something for your time."

"Why thank you, sir." The desk clerk quickly pocketed the money and added, "You said your daughter was ill. Do you want me to get the doctor for you?"

"No, that's alright. She fell last night and got a black eye. She doesn't want anyone to see her. She will need room service later on."

"I'll order for someone to go to her room in the late afternoon."

"You are an asset to this hotel. Oh, what is the name of that young man for this evening?"

"It's Matthew Hall."

"Thank you." Thomas nodded his head at the man and walked into the hotel restaurant.

On to Chapter Ten

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