Over a year since leaving, Colt rode toward the growing city of Laramie full of apprehension. In that entire year he felt no sorrow about his wife's death. He was sorry she died but the place she held in his heart healed leaving only the sadness that the little boy, his son, would grow up like he did with no mother to offer a tempering hand. But then the way he acted was just like his old man. He'd run out on his boy, too. Well, Kid thought, he needed to change. He would go back, get Jimmy and take him to. . Where was he going to take the two-year-old, earn an honest living and not fear someone seeking to make a gunslinger's reputation?

First things first, the little tyke probably wouldn't have a thing to do with him. Kid never showed the least amount of interest in his son since the day Deborah told him that a child was on the way. Often when he held her in his arms he dreamed of holding 'Lou'. Why couldn't Lou have been Jimmy's mother? Why couldn't Lou have. . .? It was no use. All the 'why couldn't's in the world can't change a thing. He'd make it right with his son and bury Lou's memory. The joy he wouldn't forget but having her again would be impossible. Could he do it? Would her memory be enough to sustain him? It certainly messed up everything he had tried to do while denying it. Maybe accepting it was the only thing left. A smile, a genuine smile warmed his heart and soul for the first time in over seven years. Living with the German family proved the value of family, a bond so strong Hercules couldn't break through. The troubled lawman put his loss and suffering behind him because looking for her ghost would serve no good purpose.

"I'm coming home Jimmy. Home to stay."

May was a beautiful month; warm air and gentle rains brought the trees and grasses and flowers to life.The air was clean and fragrant with the spring blossoms. Lou and Jimmy went to the small glen she discovered earlier. A grassy carpet lined the small clear stream and was shaded by the massive cottonwoods grew for decades. She loved the solitude of the place with only the gurgling water and the rustling new leaves for company. Jimmy sat on the grass and played with his wooden toys, his favorite a brown and white paint horse. Emma made him a small doll to ride the horse.

The afternoon slipped by quickly and Lou still debated what to do. Thomas and Ruth planned to marry next week and they asked her to come with them to assist Thomas. Ruth didn't feel strong enough yet to help him. Matthew and Ella also planned to get married in June. He got a job at the city bank and was ready to settle down in Laramie.

Lou deeply loved the toddler playing in front of her but she knew she had no right to him. Did she love Jimmy for himself or for who his father was? She would be on her own again after Thomas and Ruth left Laramie. The money she earned would last for a while but what would she do when that ran out? If the Cains' let her keep the boy she needed a real home because hotel living was no place to raise a child. A house took more money. No jobs existed for a women with a child no matter the circumstances. Widows were allowed to do laundry and cleaning but she fought her entire life to do better.

Should she gave Jimmy back and go with the Stevens where she would have a job but the closeness she felt before with Thomas would be gone. She would no longer be his 'daughter' but a servant to them both, a job, but not much of a life and her heart would break without young Jimmy.

Would Kid ever return to claim his son? A thought too scary to even contemplate caused a shudder to shake her body and a sense of foreboding descended over her.

She quickly called "Jimmy, come on. It's time to go home. It looks like it is going to rain."

The brown haired little fellow shook his head. "No. Horse and Da come."

"What did you say?" Lou shook her head and went to pick up the boy.

"No. Stay. Da come." He stiffened but she was used to handling an unyielding body.

"Jimmy we keep hoping your father will come home but we don't know when. Let's go home and see if he came. Here is your horse and man, you need to take them to show your father.

"Da come sooon. Me see Da. Da see me. Da see 'Immy'."The boy smiled at Lou and gave her a big hug. "I wuv Da."

"So do I, Jimmy. One of these days he will come home and we'll be here waiting for him to come to us." Lou felt a warm feeling rush through her body. She hugged her charge and knew what she would to tell her friend, Thomas. "Tomorrow you and I need find a house, a home. We both need one of those. A home. Not one of someone else's but one for you and me."

"Are you sure that you want to take this chance? You are opening yourself up for a lot of pain," Thomas questioned Lou.

"I know what I am doing. I've done enough running and wandering. I need to put down some roots, here, with Jimmy, and if the Kid doesn't like it then I will fight that battle later. For now we both need a place to call our own."

"What will you do for support? I can't continue to pay you if you don't come with us."

"I've already thought about that. I saved most of the money I earned from you. It will last for a while. After that I don't know for sure, but something will come up and we won't starve. Thomas, I love you and I will miss you but I need to do something for myself now. I can take good care of Jimmy and will find someway to provide for him. Thank you for what you've done for me so far." She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Will you wish us luck on finding a house today?"

"You know me better than that. But before you sign anything would you take me to see the property? At the very least I can offer my fatherly advice. That is if you are willing to hear some of that?"

"Thank you Thomas. I'd appreciate any advice. Come on Jimmy. Let's go find our new home."

"Go home? Da go home. Da wuv me."

After they had left the room Thomas contemplated their conversation. He would love to buy her a house but with a wife now he would have to watch his money closer. He could look at the money he'd decided to give his son but was this unknown gunfighter the boy he'd abandoned years ago? Or was this just too much coinsidense? No Lou was not trying to fleece him. She didn't even know about the Kid being alive let alone that Thomas was his father. It must be fate stepping in to guide her to him and their travels to lead them here for her to find Jimmy and his boy Tom.

"Yes ma'am. Our house is for sale. We need to move back East. The winters here are too cold and severe. It was a mistake to move here. Please come in and have a look."

"How much are you asking for your house?" Lou asked the homeowner.

He looked at this slight woman and at the little boy in her arms. This was men's work. "Well, I thought you'd want to look around and then bring your man around to do the dealing."

"What are you asking? I need to know if it is in our price range. Is that so hard to answer?" Lou sweetly replied. She smiled her demure smile while inside she was fuming. " You deal with me or you find yourself another buyer," she thought to herself.

"Do I know your husband ma'am? Maybe you could bring him and we could talk about money. See what a nice house it is. A good place to raise a family. Your little boy can play in the backyard. My missus she makes good meals in the kitchen. Are you a good cook, Missy?"

"I don't see where that is any of your business. It does seem to be a sturdy house. How old is it? Does it leak?"

"Oh no. She's a tight building and was built a couple of years before the war." The man crisply answered her.

"Do you have a price you will quote me now, here, today?" Lou looked at directly at him. Jimmy had quietly sat in Lou's arms and watched the two grown-ups.

He looked at the determined face of the woman in front of him and suddenly realized, "You haven't got a man. You are one of those women."

"I don't know what you mean by one of those women, but I do my own business. What are you afraid of dealing with me? I am looking for a house and you have one I'm interested in for sale. Why can't you give me a price?"

"No, I won't sell to one of your kind. You can leave now. You have soiled the air here enough."

"I've done what? I've done nothing wrong. I don't know what you are thinking. Come on Jimmy, we won't be living here."

"Good and I hope you have to live in the gutter where you bred that bastard."

As Lou turned to rebuttle the man he slammed the door in her face. Jimmy looked at the tears on Lou's face and said, "Man no good.  Da come and we go wit Da. No house."

"Oh Jimmy I wish every thing you say would come true but .." She didn't finish her sentance as they walked slowly down the street. Being strong and taking control of her life fell short of any success. She felt like a whipped dog heading home with its tail between its legs. She knew Thomas wouldn't gloat but would try and console her and then offer to help deal with the "men" and business.

Lou, wrapped up in her misery, didn't watch where she walked. Jimmy screamed as she stepped into the path of a horse and rider galloping into town.

On to Chapter Seventeen

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