After spending a frustrating
evening pouring over illegible handwriting
in badly damaged and out of
focus parish registers - and still NOT
finding my relatives, I thought
it was time to send an open email (at www.ofcoursethereisaHeaven.com)
to all my "Upstairs" relatives who
have gone to Heaven (99%
of them) or the Other Place (1%). The text follows. (Feel free to insert
your own relatives names where appropriate.)
"Dear ________:
I am your _________ and living in the late 20th century here in ___________, _________.
I am sitting in front of a
microfilm projector (I'll explain what that is in a
later email) in a special library
run by the LDS (nice people, but more later
on them, too) trying to decipher
the small and shaky handwriting of your parish's minister/vicar/ curate
(choose one). He must have been either vertically challenged or had palsy
- because it's unreadable! At least I think
it's your parish! I'm not even
sure of the decade. Thanks for leaving such
a good paper trail! (Sarcasm intended.)
According to family legend,
you and your wife ___________ had _____ children, some of whom lived
beyond infancy. Yet not a single one was recorded in the parish records!
I can't even find your marriage certificate. You two WERE married,
right? Didn't you know that there would be
legions of people like me
fanatically spending their waking hours and small fortunes looking for
any and all traces of your lives? Were you just stubborn, couldn't afford
the fees,or not members of the Established (or any) Church? You're wondering,
"What's all the fuss, we're dead as door nails?" We're not sure, but I
think down here we're infected with the same disease: Rootsus obsessionus.
Of course, WE are going to leave better records for our descendants! (sure
we will. HA!) Anyway, I'm glad I was able to vent my frustrations upward.
If I couldn't do that, I'd have probably popped the obnoxious researcher
next to me who is right now translating an old parish record in German
- and out loud, for heaven's. (oops!)
I have an idea.... When I'm
"dead-on" (pardon the expression) to finding
the correct record, give me some
sort of sign. Make the projector bulb
flicker twice. Or, if it must be
done in the privacy of my home, I have a Labrador Retriever. Talk through
her. That will get my attention for sure.
Thanks for listening. I'll
be better in the morning.....I'll be back at the library tomorrow night
for Round 14, so catch me there.
Peace and Gentle Sunsets,
____________________
Author Unknown
