This is the story of Queen Lena and Bowser Koopa's life all during the Super Marion Bros. video games. Except finally this is through the eyes of the wife who had to sit at home behind the scenes, and worry. "Of course, as you know, Lena is known to stretch the truth, just a little." Who said that?!? Uh! Oh, well. So, back to my story. I come in at the beginning of Super Mario Brothers: The Movie. I don't understand why they named it Super MarioBrothers. His name is Marion. Or at least that's what Bowser tells me. Stupid plumber probably forgot his own darn name. But I'm getting ahead of myself. *Start of Super Marion Brothers: The Movie* I met my husband when he had just gotten out of the Troopas. General Bowser Koopa. My he looked handsome in his uniform. (The Troopas are what you mammals call the, umm, the Navy? No, no, the Army. That's it!) Anyway, he stuck by my side while I helped him(ok, ok, I gave him a few pointers and shopped, but that's beside the point)overthrow the turtle king, and became King Bowser Koopa, not General Bowser Koopa, but a full-fledged king. Although my not-so-truthful husband failed to mention his unsuccessful attempt at stealing Princess Apple's egg, we eventually worked around that, though I now have my own lawyer. A short while after that little episode, Bowser sent those two numskull cousins of his, Iggy and Spike, out to do his dirty work. I still insist that that in itself is dirty work, but Bowser just gets annoyed. See, Bowser wanted that brat archeologist of a princess out of the way because he was all worried she might somehow overthrow his crown. Unfortunately, he didn't kill her, he just had her kidnapped and brought to our dimension, against my wishes, of course. If Bowser had listened to me in the first place then Plum might be gone by now. Then suddenly, boom! Here come the two stupid, meddling plumbers, Marion and Linguine(or at least that's what Bowser keeps telling me their names are. Going by assumed names of Mario and Luigi doesn't seem much better). Their arrival was kinda like when you're sitting at home and all of a sudden you have to vomit for, like, two years. Very, very gross and nauseating. *Start of Super Mario Brothers* Well, the plumbers' arrival made Bowser pretty mad, so to release that stress and anger Bowser obliterated the mushrooms. I gave him the idea. Sort of. During his "mushroom raid" Bowser once again captured Peach. He did a lot of other boring, run-of-the-mill, hero type things after that, but I won't go into it all, since this is my story and I'm going to tell what happened to moi, not King Koopa. Cherry is not the most pleasant house guest I've ever hosted, but I suppose that comes from her fungus upbringing. The first week she was there(and let me tell you, she was their a long time, considering how long it took the dumber plumber to rescue her toadbutt)she just kept screaming her whiny little head off. "Mario! Mario, help me!" First of all, I'm sure Marion didn't even understand that, and second of all, she kept hollering the wrong name. It was very annoying. Well, she finally got a grip. And that's when she began complaining about being hungry. What atrocious manners! You never ask to be fed while at a guest's home. We had been very nice, too. Her dungeon was only the third dirtiest in the castle. Oh, well. I guess you just can't please slime. Then one day while sitting in our large living area and crocheting, in came Marion. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do or say, and I didn't have time to react when he asked where Pear was. Marion's positively grotesque face forced me to go, well, bring up that mornings breakfast, all over his shoes. He barely noticed. All I heard was a strange, disgruntled noise and off he went, shouting, "Where-a are you, Peachy?" Her name was Orange, but I can understand that Marion, of all things, would get that confused. [More to Come!!!]
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