Tekyu's brief Anime & DVD reviews

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust - the spectacular remake/sequel of the original cinematic masterpiece. D, bastard half vampire/half-human (Dunpeal) son of the Vampire King, accepts a job to rescue a man's daughter from a vampiric count only to be left with the question of whether or not she was in fact kidnapped against her will.

Why it rules: Disney caliber animation breathes life into the dark and beautiful art of Yoshitaka Amano (of Final Fantasy fame and original character designer for the first VH D movie) making for some of the most incredible eye candy you'll ever. The action is intense and of course being that we're dealing with some pretty serious monsters and vampires, there's loads of violence. The atmosphere and all the little things (the crosses collapsing in on themselves, plant life dying, light extinguishing all foretell of something wicked this way comes) make for an enoyable experiance. Then there's also the fact that the movie was made with american audiences in mind as you'll note no problem in the dubbing and that the lips move so naturally. Definately a worthwhile purchase or rental.

Why it sucks: The problem lies the terrible attempt at trying to get us feel empathy for Meyer Link and Charlotte, while at the same time trying to make us see how unbelievably lonely, unhappy and just plain dull, D can be. The hand is often decent comic relief, but gets pretty annoying when he taunts D for too long and when his quips are too close together. The Marcus Bros. are quite flashy and amusing characters, but Leila (despite her fine taste in skin tight attire) can be more annoying than the hand's unrelenting taunts! Overall the story flows pretty well until dialogue commences, usually in an effort to emphasize drama and/or give spice to backstory yammerings at the wrong time. While that is typically the nature of dialogue, this didn't quite make the grade due to the odd spacing between sentences, particularly for the hand.

Can you say DVD?: On the DVD my biggest beef is that there's practically nothing of real interest as far as special features are concerned!!! It sucks! For $25 you get the movie, 20 chapter breaks, minimal behind the scenes stuff, trailers & TV spots, shameless merchandising plugs (mixed in with still captures and an ad for production cels on sale by Urban Vision) and some crap about highest ranked scenes in the movie. What the hell??? Why not show character design sketches, comparisons to the original, bios for the characters or even some decent interactive menus??? While each portion of the menu features some really neat scenery and features a portion of the movie soundtrack, it just isn't as cool as it could have been otherwise. Thanks to Mamoru, I learned that it can in fact do captions. But I prefer subtitles dang it :P

I smell TIE-IN: Jaleco released a Vampire Hunter D video game some time back which used CG and animation to capture some pretty decent cutscenes of D and other characters from the movie while also vaguely borrowing the plot. Bluntly, this game is a terrible Resident Evil/Biohazard clone with pretty bad voice acting, god awful graphics, pathetic gameplay, cheap camera angles and enemies, and puzzles that just aren't worth any time at all. A fairly worthless game, but not too bad if you can find it for under $15-$20 if you're a big D fan. Good for nostalgia and little else. I got my copy at a flea market from a woman who spoke little english and asked for $10. Along with that Urban Visions has production cels for sale on their website and there's the upcoming mini-statues of both D and Meyer Link w/ Charlotte, VERY nice if you can afford them. Also be on the lookout for the Bloodlust action figures! :D Strangely enough the company doing these also has Leila's bike listed as a carded figure on its own, much like McFarlane toys did with Kaneda's bike.

Overall: While it's no DVD special feature monster like Shrek, it's esthetic details for the title, each menu, and even the case are quite nice and the movie itself is awesome! You'll note that it also doesn't have any other languages and has no subtitles, which isn't that much of a problem (provided you speak english and are not deaf). This is because Urban Vision intended to release this in American Theatres first so the entire movie was animated in English and was even shown in Japan & Korea in English with subtitles. I enjoyed it immensely and I'm sure you will too if you're into action, mystery, vampires and otherwise cool occult related stuff. It's not something for the kiddies. That's for sure. :) While weaker in special features than I was hoping (I held my standards pretty high for Urban Vision, especially considering the anime juggernaut they're touting here), I wasn't disappointed having this masterpiece added to my collection. And even though I whine about features, it's just that after having SHREK and AKIRA SE I'm left wanting so much more from DVDs.

Why it rules: Evangelion has some of the most intense fights I've even seen, coupled with its deep mysteries and intrigue as well as its powerful drama it's easy to see why Eva has become a huge cult phenomenon. With fully rounded characters you'll either love or hate trying to overcome mind blowing circumstances and their own relationships, you'll be glued to the screen! Incredible voice acting, and the best dubbing since Metal Gear Solid thanks to ADV's troupe of actors. Incredible visuals with a beautiful muscial score including numerous pieces of Beethoven (particularly the #9 Symphony),plus some orignal pieces as well and great story to boot. Eva is something anybody (not just big robot geeks) would want on their shelves!

Why it sucks: The controversey stems from the use of all sorts of religious symbols, angel names and such used for the opposition and used to explain things away (Angels, Eva, three wisemen, etc.) which is just stupid. I mean this whole thing is just silly fantasy and Christians (no matter the denomination) are as hard to offend as it is to flush a toilet. There's also the annoying problem of TOO MUCH mystery, and that they leave sooooo much of the frickin' story open to the viewers own interpretation. Gainax was rushed to finish the series which is why the ending is pure crap, it sucks so much that they had to make 2 movies to make up for the embaressment! The story leaves too much stuff open and unexplained that there's never full closure. And even though the action is fast and intense, it leaves us wanting as there's never enough to truly satisfy. And there is the overly whiny Shinji... While if you can attach to someone in the series, you'll probably love it, but if you dislike the overabundant angst, constant rhetorical questions and grossly innacurate use of the Book of Revelations then you may be annoyed or even offended by the series entirely. Definately scope this out before buying.

Can you say DVD?: Pretty sad set of features. Some brief bios of characters, Evas and Angels about 3-4 per DVD, the DVD credits and then... there's the website >_< Some of the eariler ones include previews you can choose. The menu is is set in the pod with Shinji as he start unit one up with a small monitor at the top playing the opening without credits. There's 4 episodes on the first two DVDs and 3 on every following disc. There's no goodies here, buy it for the series and nothing else. There's subtitles in English, Spanish & French as well as audio in Japanese, English, French and Spanish. Wild ^_^

I smell TIE-IN: A number of games were made for various systems (mostly Sega, being a huge sponsor for the series) that never made it overseas. THe best thing is the spectacular figures crafted by Kaiyodo which are now available in launch tube type packaging! Both movies should be in the USA by this late summer/early fall so look for those. ALso keep you eyes peeled for the Eva boxed set in stores now!

Overall: If you like the series, this is it at its finest. If you haven't gotten a taste of Eva yet, ADV has tons of previews milking this series on their other DVDs and tapes because this one's their major cash cow. A stupidly hot property, that probably explains the awesome dubbing ^_^ I love it, and being able to compare and conrast with the subtitles is a joy. I recommend at least getting the first DVD. :) While the ad that ADV put out that said "It will change the way you look ay big robots forever" seemed like some stupid arrogant taunt of sorts to make you watch it to spite them... It was true to its' word and then some. This series is a cut above your typical "whiny pilot drives big robot to save mankind" cliche and no stretches to include Angels, God, and monsters of the like you'd never expect to see up against big robots.

Pilot Candidate: A story of an planet in peril from the forces of a race called "Victim", the defenders of the planet, Zion, are children with unique abilities and intense training which earns them the right to pilot the mighty robots known as Ingrids, or as "The Goddesses". The greatest hero (and our protagonist) is a boy named Zero who naivete and constant slacking make him sorely underestimated as he has powers far beyond his own understanding.

Why it sucks: Oh man... where to start. Well, the story itself is just laughable! It's like some terrible joke! >_< This series was made to cash in on the Gundam craze currently going on as well as the success of Evangelion and other thoroughly deserving Mecha related series. However, the story makes little sense and after watching 3 episodes I find myself simply doing MST3K gags throughout each episode because I'm bored to tears! Come on, the writers have the gall to name to call the bad guys "victim" (this screams of stupidity! Do they even understand what the word MEANS??). The people are quite possibly the most irritating bunch I've ever had to suffer through! The girls while cute and many quite sexy, squeak (almost literally) out some babble which contribute no sign of personality nor plot advancement whatsoever, save some disturbing obsession with the robots (the cat girls sings to calm the deactivated robot?!??). The boys are just plain moronic! We've got a Pidge rip-off who takes every opportunity to flip off the audience when adjusting his glasses (and I do mean EVERY opportunity) as he babbles about how "interesting" everything is, he also seems to be a rip-off of the nerd from Evangelion and ALL he does is yammer at Zero about stuff which I assume is to provide the audience with backstory and explanations, but Zero NEVER listens and neither do I!!! >_< We have the annoying, arrogant white haired kid who does little else, but piss Zero off and when Zero isn't acting like a total ass (hollering "I have to beat you at everything!!!" and running in front of him to eat, crap, etc. before he can) the white haired kid taunts and insults Zero! >_< Now... Zero is quite possibly the worst of the five boys (the other two are just kinda there to complain about being hungry and add plucky comic relief). Zero is always overflowing with emotion to the point that he would have had an ulcer sprout up by now and and he is always screwing around. >_< Be it wandering into someone elses robot, sleeping whilst standing at attention, making an idiot of himself at chowtime or just giving his instructor and excuse to beat him down. Zero does it all, and terribly I might add. I suppose the reason we are to like him is because he is so stupid he seems almost innocent (something like, he's so incredibly stupid he's labeled as "innocent and pure" because he lacks the brain matter to show any sign of evil... or something). The coach/drill instructor guy is constantly nagging, hitting and harassing the boys and this makes him just as stupid as they are in that he yammers, yells, gripes and repeats. Usually in that order, but if Zero's in the room he tends to yell a lot more. To make matters worse, the coach has a pair of glasses too small for his face, fastened to the lower bridge of his nose, nowhere near where his eyes can see >_< The scientist and the nurses are just like a room full of really cute girls who talk like nails on a chalkboard. Every word that comes out of their mouths is super high pitched and their faces ALWAYS have the same goofy bubbleheaded expression on them. It's creepy! THEN there's the damn robots... There's appears to be a substantial amount of cool looking "grunt" robots that the junior mechanic girls maintain (one of which the cat-girl sang to... *shudder*). These never get much screen time as we are forced to endure the ridiculous looking Ingrids floating around space doing basically the same crap in every episode. And while the cel-shading can make the cool robots even cooler, it can't help the ingrids from sucking. Or this whole series for that matter. It whole outlook is entirely too sugary when looking at life, war, death, sadness, etc. Something I often see way too much in anime, but this particular offender is guilty in spades! Usually you see something like this aimed at young kids or early teens (whom the series appears to be aimed at, why its on Adult swim I'm not sure... hopefully not because the plot's too sophisticated. Riiiight.) and this seems to be a yaoi freak's dream! *shudders* If you don't know what that is... look elsewhere ^_^; Ugh! Anyway, moving right along, we come to a screaming halt on the soundtrack! It's awful! It's the kind of garbage you'll find in a lot of much older anime movies (and some on the original Dragonball series & movies before they were dubbed). I'd hoped this stuff would have died out and the only places I'd have to endure it would be old anime and the Grandia games! Think eally cheesy sounding operatic stuff. Final word? This series sucks, period.

Why it rules: Even though it's almost impossible to watch... it's a ball to mock. Great MST3k material here. The cel shading used on the the CG is quite nice, though... I'll never get over the fact that these boys want to be goddesses (or pilot them... Ugh. Candidate goddess.) >_< The cat girl is hot ^_^ In fact most of the girls as a general rule are cute, but that is never enough to support an anime. Unless nudity is involved :) Well... that's about all I can say is great about it! ^_^

I smell TIE-IN: I think Bandai is backing this because a series this bad should by no means make it over here due to CG sequences of goddess 'bots flitting about in space. Bandai also put out a figure set with one of the Ingrids, Zero and the cat girl. You can get this on DVD and VHS, but I would recomment neither since if you seriously wish to test this series you can watch it Saturdays on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim 3-hour Anime block.

Overall: In a word, lame. In two words, really lame. Suckitiude factor maxed out. I implore you not to even touch the promo merchandise (toys, posters, etc.) because the suckness might rub off on you. I haven't seen anything this bad since White Cross (Weiz Cruz?) and the only reason I watched 2 hours of that was that I was paralyzed by the very concept alone. This doesn't even have a decent original concept to begin with and makes everything worse with bad characters, stupid names for everything, a terrible story and limited use of a great asset of cel shaded CG. Narrow minds should not handle such neat things.

Why it sucks: It ends on a re-cap episode >:( For a series of this strength to end on something as flimsy as that is kind of sad. It wasn't until the next season that things got REALLY weird marking the return of Shampoo and the arrival of Ukyo. The music is also a little weird ^_^; but that suits the series quite well. Basically my biggest problem is that it's only 18 eps and how it ends.

Why it rules: Why doesn't it?!?! Ranma 1/2 is one of the most popular anime series worldwide! Its warm hearted humour, stupidly absurd circumstances and brilliant comic timing make for a guaranteed laugh-fest! This season stands as the BEST ever aired since it follows the Manga's story perfectly, simply LOOKS the best and has dubbing of unbelivable quality and care. And I have to again reiterate how side splittingly funny this show is, the bizarre circumstances alone should make you laugh, at the very LEAST smile (if not I recommend seeking help and checking your pulse). Out of the all the seasons, this one shines the brightest as when compared to later seasons (anything goes martial arts, Hard Battle, Out of Control) it is the only one that maintains the same quality of animation, and doesn't make lame attempts to seperate itself from the comic book. An awesome purchase, sure to be the envy of all your friends ^_^

Can you say DVD?: This is where it falters... There are no extras to speak of on this $90-$100 boxed set. There's a set of extras on the 4th disc which are simply the english & japanese casts and the opening without credits. >_< This is crap. I'm thrilled to little pieces that I've got the first season... but that's IT??? If extras were points this thing would be sooooo disqualified for BS.

I smell TIE-IN: There's an unimaginable amount of Ranma swag out there! Posters, Movies, CDs, cappucino mugs, t-shirts, underwear, hats and more! THere's even video games like Hard battle which was brought over for the Super Nintendo and is advertised on the Ranma tapes (though I can only recommend that as pure nostalgia due to it being a fairly weak street fighter clone). Not to mention the following seasons and more importantly the comic it was based on.

Overall: While I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being at least a little biased, I can't find any real flaws in the series itself. Throw me any of the following seasons and that's a different story entirely. If you've got them already on VHS, I wouldn't bother unless you wish to convert to DVD because that really all this package offers. If you've NEVER seen Ranma then I recommend you start with this as it will not disappoint. :)

Tenchi Muyo (First OAV series)

The original introduction to the series (not sure whether or not it preceded the manga, but it’s the first (and in my humble opinion the BEST) anime representation of this fantastic series by the creator of El Hazard (and a couple of hentai series: Masquerade & Spaceship Agga Ruter). A story of a boy who leads a very simple life and suddenly through bizarre circumstance finds he is part alien and an heir to Royalty after disobeying his grandfather and freeing the super hot space pirate, Ryoko. After an almost domino effect of beautiful women dropping in on him, he then encounters an evil called Kagato, which is hell-bent on finding the secret to the power within his royal blood. If you’ve never seen it before you can watch it on Saturdays during the Anime Adult Swim block, unfortunately this will be the Toonami version done for cartoon Network (meaning that while you’ll see a disclaimer for anything sexual, violent, etc. You will see exactly the same things you could have seen whilst it was being aired on Toonami.).

Why it sucks: A few too many Star Wars related influences (of course the creators seem to have put them there intentionally as there’s a picture (turned into posters, t-shirts, etc. with the Tenchi gang doing "A New Hope" theatrical poster gag). It’s somewhat hard to believe that EVERY hostile and passerby alien would be so smitten with Tenchi ^_^; Too sugary for most tastes, unless you’re a fan of Ranma 1/2 this kind of goofy series would probably not appeal to you. To make things painfully worse, while it acts as something of a totally stupid soap opera, Tenchi doesn’t choose ANY of them! But then there IS this kind of disturbing connection between Tenchi and Sasami ^_^; If you’ve seen the Toonami version you’ll have missed a couple of things... like that the girls AREN’T really wearing swimsuits and Ryoko isn’t REALLY referring to Ayeka’s "Bathing suit" which is a problem since it creates something of a difference between the fine line "DESTROY" and "KILL". In America, it would seem that saying what you really mean SHOULD be considered a crime (after all, people say "I’m gonna ‘destroy’ you for putting sugar in my gas tank, and Batman started his quest for justice after his parents were ‘destroyed’) so due to the fact that Cartoon is not strong enough to stand on its own financial feet like HBO we’ll continue to see things taken out. Fortunately, the DVDs and tapes are nothing like the crap one will see on Cartoon Network so those would come highly recomended (especially to Dragonball fans!!!). But since that’s stepping way off my intended course, I’ll have to say that Tenchi Muyo is not meant for those who seek violence, gore, hot sex, or even wild romance. It’s very much like watching Ranma 1/2 with aliens (though it’s nothing really like Urusei Yatsura) so before you consider buying it, I REALLY recommend you try watching it on Cartoon Network so you can see exactly what this series is like (though keep in mind I’m talking about the portion of Tenchi Muyo that covers everything up to the fight between Tenchi and Kagato).

Why it rules: Well first off, I loved (well obsessed) over Ranma 1/2!!!! So I suppose that points out the first reason I loved Tenchi Muyo since it stikes a very similar chord. It’s humour is quite nice, with few strong cultural differences like that of Ranma and Urusei Yatsura so even American Audiences can enjoy it to the fullest. Nowhere near as romantic as Ranma, but this particular series has its’ own magic which captured enough fans to have a number of following anime specials, movies and series (of course I’ve got reviews coming for a number of those and they’re not all ice cream and gummi bears ^_^;). THIS however was the start of it all where everything was fresh and even though I started watching it in the middle of the series I found myself unable to actually leave it, of course all the really cute girls added to this urge to stay ^_^; But besides my testosterone compelled urge to stay, I also couldn’t help but stay for the truly intriguing and bizarre world that quickly overcame Tenchi. And besides, it’s really funny ^_^

I smell TIE-IN: Well, there’s the other Tenchi series such as the continuation of this series, the Tenchi movies and the Alternate Tenchi Universe TV series. Along with that there’s the 12-inch Doll set made by Toynami of Tenchi, Ryoko and Ayeka. Or for a more "sculpted" look, one could go for the McFarlane figures of Ryoko & Tenchi from series 1 & 2 of McFarlane’s 3D animation from Japan series. Along with that is the stupidly huge amount of posters, toys, books, comics and misc. memorabilia available if you’re interested. Go check your local comic shop if interested or email around.

Overall: Tenchi Muyo was a truly rewarding and entertaining OAV series, just like its sister series, El Hazard. Very satisfying (up until the point they tried to pathetically extend the series, for both Tenchi Muyo & El Hazard). The first original Tenchi OAV is available in a DVD set, and of course on VHS which I would wholeheartedly recommend provided you enjoyed watching it on Cartoon Network’s Toonami block or their recent adult swim. And if you’re curious (which I’m sure you’re not), I saw it after Pioneer got the rights to it (however many years ago that was) and saw it from start to finish (with nudity and foul language ^_^). I’ve just been waiting for the opportunity to get it on DVD, but I thought I’d get in the review being that I just finished watching it all again thanks to CN’s adult swim. A fun and hilarious series, but again I have to insist you give this a test ride before you go out and buy it (the DVD set comes with a $100+ price tag).