Unlimited Saga


It could've been worse. It could've given you herpes.


Saga Frontier's third offspring follows the usual guidelines and stays loyal to the previous games in some ways and steps off the sidewalk and into a pit filled with giant dress-wearing spiders, carnivorous beavers, bloodthirsty hamsters and venomous koalas. Let's just say it's a little um, off... comparatively speaking, of course, to it's elder kin.
Strictly in terms of visual and audible aesthetics, this game is indeed the brainchild of the geniuses which meander corridors of that eccentric Japanese entity we lovingly call "Squenix" or Square Enix (formerly Squaresoft and Enix, respectively. The geniuses in question meandered about Squaresoft). The visuals in the cutscenes along with the in-fight animations are exquisite, there are few times when your eyes aren't drowning in eye-candy enriched ecstacy. Another sensory organ which is bound to be pleased is your ears, the music in Unlimited Saga is absolutely stunning, building on previous ditties in the earlier games and some wholly new tracks, the music flows beatifully alongside its visual counterpart.
That's about where the similarities end. In Unlimited Saga, you choose your character, a la Saga Frontier, and then after getting some background info about the one you chosen, BY the one you've chosen; you watch the events unfold that lead them on their path and into your reliable hands.

Why it sucks: The problems isn't what exactly sucks... but where to start! Actually, it's where to STOP. There's just so much wrong with this game that thinking about it too much makes me weepy. I suppose overall the WORST thing about Unlimited Saga is how RIGHT this game could have... no, SHOULD have gone. The fact that the characters look nice, but would have looked BETTER had they bother giving them more than 2-3 frames of animation apiece when in battle is just the icing on a cake made of feces. The only truly interactive environments are the dungeons which are like moving around a capriciously evil game board with one stoic, uncolored piece resembling your chosen character which represents your party. Along the way through the board, you'll come across monsters that either attack shortly after you spot them, wait until they feel like attacking you or will just plain ignore you. What the hell? Just as capriciously annoying are the blasted traps and pitfalls placed in the stupidest of places... For example, you're on a boat, right? Or at least that's what the game board is telling you and according to the pretty pictures in the upper left corner... that's where you are. In any case, the boat happens to have spikes popping up, boulders falling down, pitfalls dotting the halls and monster birds all over the place... Indiana Jones could at least only have to suffer boulders and spikes in a ruin or temple. And Germans. Just WHO is installing all these traps on a friggin' ship??? What's the sense in booby trapping your own ship's corridors to murder passengers and hinder your own escape when monsters randomly take up space in every conceivable open spot the ship has to offer??? This is superficial gobbldygook crap at its worst. I honestly can't remember playing a game THIS bad in a long time... And to think that it not only came from Squenix, but could quite possibly mean an end to a trustworthy franchise still in its comparative infancy... Did anyone even play test this thing? I had to gnaw my arm off just to escape the horror that was this game...

Why it rules:The music is beautiful, the visuals are often dazzling and the attention to the bulk of the aesthetics outside of dungeons is wonderful... And the two games which preceeded this are masterpieces. For the movies and music, it's worth getting. Oh yes, and the FFX-2 movies are nice as well. VERY nice. But beyond that...

Overall: There's something about Unlimited Saga that, in a lot of ways, is almost like shaving off your entire head when you're drunk the night before you go into court to hear the closing statements as you're tried for the murder of your spouse. It's a liberating feeling, much cooler for summer and in some circles, more fashionable. And it's so easy to maintain, not to mention, being almost impossible to screw up. It's guaranteed to turn heads, particularly in a bleak summer that begs for something different!
On the other hand, you've just demonstrated to the jury that you're either a trend hopper, a skinhead or a crazed freak, who shaves their head as their life and/or freedom hangs in the balance. It's a little hard to cope with at first and it's such a bother to go through. Not to mention how awkward it is even if you've tried it or something like it before. And then there's the scrutiny of the twelve people leering down at you, what'll they think?! What'll your friends and family think?!?! Will they be able to look you in the eyes again without laughing? Did anyone at the store remember that you bought gloves that would be too small so you could get off like O.J. did? Did those cameras in the house actually get pictures of the crime?! And might the people assume you use the famed "Chewbacca Defense" because you're lacking hair??
As a junkie for aesthetics, this is a worthwhile buy. Sort of. Demonstrating definitive style over substance as opposed to the previous games which touted loads of both makes for a disappointing alternative to a DECENT game that doesn't have half the artistic flair. This "blindly-moving-about-an-evil gameboard" crap ensures lots of frustration, among other and more hostile fits of emotion towards this overpriced coaster. The battle system being reduced to a slot machine wasn't much better and even though it ISN'T impossible to nagivate the less-than-intuitive interface, that doesn't make it the least bit pleasant, much less amusing. Not to mention the piss-poor excuse for a story and dialogue, the pace of which is ruined on a regular basis as you move about the irritatingly stupid dungeon/map which is always between you and the next town or neighboring dungeon. Excuse me for growing not only accustomed to, but quite fond of SEEING MY DAMNED ENVIRONMENTS as opposed to a colorful game board dotted with capricious monsters, chests and absurdly repetitive traps that show up in a less than random pattern. I don't think I've EVER played a game that felt so alien, so distant, so... unloving as this turd.
The most tragic thing is that it's probably its own worst enemy! Since you can't really wander around the lovely environs, nor can you go around and socialize with townfolk or other characters in any place save for the 4-5 people at any given Inn via a short LIST, limits the relaxing feel of visiting a town. And if it weren't for the dungeons and the fact that there's no overworld map, there'd probably be a lot more lovin' for this game despite the haphazardly annoying battle system. Considering this game is so bloody capricious with everything from its bumbling, dungeon crawling map, to monsters that want to fight or don't, to it's constantly interrupted excuse for a story; the game is left hollow and utterly superficial. It's all visual punch and despite that it is a pleasure to watch in action, it's a chore to play. The gentleman who arrogantly slapped his name on the cover should receive all the credit for this game and the consequences that merits. Such as being drug out into the street and beaten within an inch of his life. Way to ruin a franchise, twit! If they could have done something of this visual and audible magnitude with an engine resembling that of Saga Frontier 2, they'd have a real winner on their hands. Instead, they found the worst people to hand the game off to in terms of design and function. It takes all my strength to not weep openly simply thinking of how someone could go and butcher such an excellent game and an ideal series. If Squenix owns your soul then you've probably already got it in your hot little hands and have either seen the horror and hid it/returned it or you've been too afraid to open it depending on what you've heard. To confirm or deny what you've actually HEARD is something you must find alone, what can be said is that it has a couple of unrelentingly MAJOR flaws which at this point are utterly inexcusable for ANY company, particularly Squaresoft. And the game is an embaressment to its predecessors. Innovation is nice, but why they had to ruin what would have otherwise been an excellent title if left in the hands of someone even mildly competent is beyond me. God forbid they do this to Final Fantasy, they'd face a revolt in no time at all. You'd probably see a game released later THAT SAME MONTH with the title "Final Fantasy: The Apology". If you're still curious, despite the growing public outcry, then rent it or wait until the returns send a shockwave of a price drop to something more reasonably priced than $50. The FFX-2 preview is a neat bonus, but since there's nothing playable and it's just two movies played one after the other, even THAT isn't strong enough incentive to blow money that you could begin a healthy drug habit with.