"Mandie!" she cried, hugging me. I smiled, kissed her forehead, gave her a dollar to keep her busy and ran up to Taylor's room. I knocked on the door, and gripped the knob.
"Taylor. Please, Tay." I sobbed. The doorknob turned and Isaac opened the door.
"He's not here." he said. I blinked some tears away and looked at him.
"What? Where is he?" I cried, turning in a circle a few times. My mind was overcome with dizziness and I thought right then I was going to have a heart attack and die.
"He went to..," he turned around to look at Zac, "where'd he go?"
"The tree house." Zac replied. I rolled my eyes at Isaac's stupid lie and I ran down the hall, the stairs, and then I ran outside.
"Taylor!" I cried, pulling my sleeves up and climbing up the tree house stairs. Softly, yet painfully I knocked on the tree house.
"Leave me alone. Amanda I have no need or desire to talk to you!" Taylor choked. Right then, I knew he was crying. I forced open the door and climbed in next to him.
"I know I'm the last person you want to speak to right now, but you have to hear me out..please Taylor." I begged. Shoving away tears, Taylor looked at me.
"How do you think you can play behind my back then expect me to forgive you and act like nothing happened?" he said. I, with a shaky hand, pushed his blonde strains of hair behind his ear.
"I don't think that." I admitted, "But I do need you to hear me out..okay?" Taylor didn't answer, he just looked ahead at the dart board on the wall in front of him. "I'm surprised my picture isn't up there yet." I joked.
" Oh, it would have been if you came twenty minutes from now." he said back. I knew he wasn't joking.
"I don't love him." I said.
"You obviously don't love me!" he shot back. I squeezed my eyes shut and looked away.
"Don't say that. I do love you..I was..I..," I blanked out. "I don't know what I was doing." I admitted. He didn't do anything, so I continued. "I could get something from Shane I knew you'd never give me. I knew he wasn't afraid of what I wanted." I admitted. He looked at me.
"What was that?" he asked scornfully. My body went numb, and I didn't answer, I just shook my head and glanced away. "What was it Amanda? Money..love..candy..roses..friendship..my hea-" I cut him off.
"Sex." I whispered. His eyes met mine instantly.
"Sex. Amanda you wanted sex? You of all people? You, the one who told me to wait. 'Wait till we're older, wait till we can handle it'. Remember that?" he said. I nodded.
"I didn't know...it was a rush thing. It was impulses, not love. I swear Taylor, I swear." I said, choking behind my own heart. I knew it. I even told myself just 2 hours ago that this was going to happen..but did I care? No. Do I care now? You could bet your life on it! If you had asked me if I would have know that I would be going through this about 8 hours ago..I would most likely say "I don't know..maybe." then I'd shrug, saying "You never know!" And it would all just be a joke to me if you had asked me that..but now, as I sit here, starring into the blue eyes of the one person who means the whole world to me, I would tell you I hate myself and I never would do anything like this again.
Little did I know that I am sitting here, hours later, in tears looking at Taylor with all my heart on the line. "I love you." I told him in a plead. No wait, it wasn't a plead, it was real-life emotions speaking here. "I would have never believed this would happen. I wouldn't have believed it if you were a furtune teller with a million dollars in your hand as proof. Nope." I told him. Taylor glanced at me.
"And if you would have told me that I would sit here and listen to you..then you're seriously out of your mind," he paused and pushed by me, "See you around..that is if your not waiting on the street corner for Shane to pick you up with a $20 in your pocket!" he said, his face burning. I watched in shock as he ran out of the backyard and down the street.
"Taylor!" I called. "You blew it Amanda. You really messed up this time!" I told myself. "I knew this was going to come around and bite me in the butt!" as Duncan would say. Duncan. My ears seemed to perk up. He should be on pararoll soon. Oh my god. He'd know what to do..he always did. Blinking the last of the tears for the next ten minutes, I rushed away from the Hanson house.
Twenty minutes later, I stood looking tall in the Crystal Lake County jail. My blonde hair hung soft on my shoulders, and as I walked toward cell block #534 all the men and wowen hooted and harrassed me. Reaching and grabbing...it all made me sick. I couldn't believe they allowed loving, caring visiting people gets physically harrassed like this. Its not as if the guards actually care. Just as I walked by cell block #242 a little while ago, I saw one guard kissing one of the mates. If he had squeezed her any harder she probably would have burst!
Shrugging, I turned the corner, and my eyes fell on Duncan. "Duncan?" I whispered, touching the bars of his cell. He looked up, his eyes dark and wasted looking. Deep, black bags hung under his eyes and he looked increbibly dirty. A soft smile fell on his face as he stood up and touched my hands. I smiled weakly at him.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, holding my hands tightly to his. I felt a weird, discusting feeling fall over me, but I quickly pushed it away as I pulled my hands away from his, placing them in my pockets.
"I needed to talk to you..its about Taylor." I told him. He fought back the urge to roll his eyes.
"And?..." Boy was he cocky. I show him love by coming here..and he says 'and?...'. Ugh! Just as I was about to speak, a voice inside told me not to waist my time here.
"You haven't changed one bit have you?" I mused. Duncan snickered.
"What is that suppose to mean?" he asked. I laughed.
"Nevermind. I came here to see how you were doing and to ask for advice..but I can see its not welcomed-" I turned and began to step away. Duncan reached through his cell and grabbed my arms, spinning me to face him. "Duncan let go..please. Duncan stop!" I shouted, struggling. Duncan brought my face to his and he kissed me. I turned my face and quickly wiped my mouth.
"Mandie..thats not why you came..is it?" he asked, a horny smile falling over him. I snorted.
"Oh no, I guess you got me.." I felt him loosen his grip.
"Really?" he asked. I laughed and jerked away from him.
"No. I would never give myself to you!" I cried. Yeah, your saving yourself for Shane. A voice inside me called. I burst into tears and ran out.
<- Walk this Way ->
Prequel: Ever Lonely
Hand In Hand (main page)