It's early July, and the heat is killer, but my summer is explained in one word: bummer. It just plain sucks. I was thinking about flying to New York to study journalism with my Aunt Molly. But, today I told her no. I actually think Taylor and I have a chance to be together now. Even after what I did.
"Sit down Amanda!" Shane laughed, reaching his arms around my waist and pulling me on top of him. Oh yea, I forgot to tell you- A counted 37 times Shane and I came close to having sex..and each time we couldn't go through with it, because each of us know I still love Taylor. And Shane is totally cool with it..I guess.
Turning, I looked at him, kissed his lips softly and stood up.
"I can't. I'm to nervous." I said. This isn't going to be easy. Aunt Molly is suppose to call back..because I told her no on her answering machine. She hasn't got the mesasge yet..and now that I think about it, I really don't want to turn down New York. Shane shook his head and relaxed himself onto my couch.
"She's going to call back..you know she is.", he shrugged with a smile, "But I'm kinda hoping she wouldn't call back,..I wanna be with you this summer." he admitted. I melted.
"Just wait..she'll call." I whispered, excusing myself to go to the bathroom. "This is sickening." I said softly allowed. My health was doing much better, and I was able to eat one thing. Chicken Noodle soup. Taylor told me, through his mom, that he was glad I was feeling better, and that I was leading a good life..without him. I never knew he could be so bitter, honestly, I never did. Just as I turned on the sink water to wash my face the phone rang. Jumping, I clumpsily unlocked the door and dove toward the phone. "Hello..Aunt Molly?" I asked.
"Oh..sorry.." A missed voice asked. My heart jumped.
"Taylor?" I asked.
"Yeah. I wanted to tell you I had a nice time at the party last night. But if your expecting a call, I'll let you go." he said. I freaked.
"No no. Please don't. Its not as if I'm expecting her..its I'm nervous."
Oh. My. God.
I was saying to myself. I couldn't believe he actually called me.
"Why?" he simply asked. Even the smallest of words made my heart soar.
"Aunt Molly invited me to live with her in New York to take up journalism until September." I replied. He gasped softly. I wouldn't have heard it if I weren't so deeply involved with the conversation.
"So, why are you nervous?" Tay asked. He smiled to himself softly. I wonder what she's thinking right now!? he thought to himself. I heard my phone beep, and I panicked.
"Tay?"
"Huh?"
"I have another call..don't hang up, I'll be right back." I said, quickly switching to the other line. "Hello?"
"So what's this about you not wanting to come to New York." Aunt Molly asked, a hint of laughter floating in her voice. I smiled, then frowned, remembering I had Taylor on the other line.
"I..um..I'm sorry about that. I was just upset about something that happened at the party yesterday. Can I think it over some more?" I asked. I knew I wanted, really really wanted to go to New York and write for the New York Times with Aunt Molly..but I really, and I mean really wanted to be here with Taylor.
"Sure hon..but I'm only givin' ya one more day. I need to make plane arrangements sweetie." Aunt Molly replied. I sighed with relief.
"OKay. I gotta let you go..-"
"OKay. Bye!" she hung up. I smiled and switched over to Taylor.
"Hello??" I asked. Instantly regretting the fact that I sounded to eager.
"Hi." Zachary replied. I was now, confused.
"Where's Tay?" I questioned. Something's up. I heard the door bell ring, and Shane called from the kitchen saying he got it. Turning my head toward the door entering into the living room, I realized Zac had hung up on me. "This is too weird." I thought to myself.
"Amanda! Someone's here to see you." Shane said, laughing when he finished. My heart skipped a beat, when I saw Taylor step into the room.
"What are you doing here?" I almost shouted. Tay smiled and sat down.
"Oh hello to you too." he laughed. I snickered at him with a smile, and he replied, "Aunt Molly called me." he said. My face dropped.
"When? Why? What did she say?" I frantisized. This isn't going to well. Aunt Molly wants me to make my decision,...with or without Taylor's help. A voice told me. Taylor looked at me, reached up and grabbed my hands. Pulling me onto the couch next to him. This is a change. I thought.
"Your saying yes." he forced. I felt weird inside. He never use to demand things from me..now why is it he's telling me what to do?
"What?" I wanted to scream. "Yes to what?"
"Your going with Molly to take journalism for the New York Times," he inquired, "and I don't want me to get in the way of your decision." he finished. I mind raced with all types of things. Things about him, me, New York, Shane..everything.
"I...um...," What as I going to say? Taylor held his hand up to my face, stopping me instantly.
"I'm sorry we fought. I'm sorry you slept with Shane. I'm sorr-" I cut him off.
"I didn't sleep with Shane." I admitted. "Who told you that?" I asked. Taylor blushed, and turned his gaze toward his feet. I knew right then he didn't believe me. I knew it. It was instinct,
"Serenity." he whispered. Serenity? Serenity Joy? No damn way.
"Joy? Serenity Joy? What are you doing with her?" I asked. My blood was raging now, but deep inside of me, I knew I had absolutely NO REASON to be mad at him. We "broke-up" two months ago.- we actually we never broke up, we just lost speaking terms.
"She's a friend of mine. I met her at the fireworks preshow." Taylor told me. I shook my head, quickly changing the subject. My nerves were going to blow, and no matter how hard or how much I knew I shouldn't be mad, I had to get out of here. Fast. Without a word, I stood up, and left the room. Leaving Taylor alone. Probably for the first time in two months.
<- Shimmie on over ->
Ever Lonely (prequel)
Hand In Hand