Have I lost you? No. Have I found you? No. How can it be that these two exist in the same time, the same space. Conflicting each other not only with their basis, but with their power, their essence. Journey on with me, my two strange friends. I call you friends only because you have come to be so close, so familiar to me. I don't know if I wish these two. Sometimes I wish I would never bother, that the past be gone and forgotten. I look at old photos, piercing dark eyes and penetrating gaze working their way into my head, my heart. It makes me cringe, stirs up feelings that I know must be wrong, even though I often doubt this. I can sometimes stare back into the eyes, feel the pain and pleasure. But not for long.