Last night I dreamed about a lot of people. I dreamed I talked to my mom on the phone. I think I called her. She was mad and asked why I hadn't called for weeks. I saw Meg and Ali outside of Smith Hall. Alli was sitting on a stump crying. She looked up and said "I cried all day yesterday because I was going to tell her." I somehow knew (or heard) that she had decided it wasn't going to work because they were too different. This may be a mix of John and Brad's situation and Meg saying how much she cared about Alli and she wanted to spend the rest of her life together. Meg was walking away with a boy (who looked kind of like the Oriental kid with glasses) said he would have let Meg have kids, but she (something). I think it was Alli talking, but it looked like this boy. He/she said they knew someone who would be the father, and he had already signed the papers. Then she added "He's just a kid"...
I've been battling over this question for weeks now, trying to decide. Lately, I've been thinking more and more about it. Every time I see someone, I ask myself what I think, I think I'm trying to make it true so I don't have to worry about it anymore. I don't know how far, but I think it's partially true. I've always wondered. Ever since second grade and the Dana Ferguson incident... And Ronnie makes me so nervous. She doesn't think I want to be friends... I don't know if that's good; maybe that's another one of her things (power). I've been watching people lately. I don't know if I'm jealous of their realtionships or if it's something more. Maybe I'll never know. I think about how I would tell people. I can't talk seriously about it because they think it's because I hang around with people like that. That's so not true, but how do I explain it? It sort of is. I wouldn't wonder so much if I wasn't around them.