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Steven Richards beat Crash Holly. PSA:The Blue meanie lost weight like he was asked and was still shitcanned from the WWF.
Bradshaw beat Justin Credible then rode Shannon Moore to his first Triple Crown off camera.
D Lo beat Raven who I surmise is the same person as Axl Rose nowadays.
Uncle Eric brings back the WCW title and gives it to Triple H! Whooooo....Ric Flair comes out and shakes his hand. Then gets smacked in the kisser with the belt! Ric Flair vs. Triple H for the belt! Later tonight!
Bubba congratulates Trips, but tells him he'll be "hunting" Hunter very soon. Yeee!
Harvard & Molly vs. Tits & Bubba TOUGH
Tables Match! Chris & Molly do the job via some
painful ass looking landings through tables. Trish
then latches onto Bubba, and I must say. I was
jealous. **
UnAmericans laugh at Kane challenging them and they say they'll burn the flag again.
Uncle Eric tells Terri & Stacy that they have a lingere pillow match tonight. Yay.
Shawn Michaels is shown in a wheelchair and he says he'll come back to get Triple H with the same sledgehammer. Amazing.
Triple H vs. Flair
Not bad...but if they wanted to do the damn belt right
they would have given Flair the title. Triple H gets
the pin after a well fought match or something. ***
Jeritol runs in and puts Flair in a boston crap...er crab.
Show gets all mad at Uncle Eric, but Uncle Eric tells him to impress him with Tommy Dreamer tonight. Uncle Eric is then told that someone will defect from Raw tonight.
Kane vs. UnAmericans
Usual Kane match. Kane kills both guys but gets
pinned. ** Afterwards Test tries to burn the flag but
Stanshaw runs out and kicks his ass. He then waves the
flag.
Show vs. Dreamer
This was kinda cool. Tommy gets beat up but then snaps
and attacks Big Show with a steel chair DQing himself.
** The only place I can see this going is if they
slowly build it to Rhino bringing back the ECW title
in a feud against Dreamer to make an ECW division.
Hunter tells Uncle Eric he wants RVD in a match cause I didn't tell you RVD came in earlier and kicked the crap outta him and Jericho, saving Flair. Eric agrees and makes the main event Triple H & Jeritol vs. Flair & RVD. NO ONE is happy about this.
Jeff Hardy comes out followed by Crash. The Uncle Eric comes out and tells the Samoans to demolish Jeff cause he's fleeing to be with his brother. Crash walks out and tells Eric that its CRASH who's leaving. Either way he gets buried!!!
Ugly vs. Legs
Usually the WWE puts on entertaining T&A but this just
sucked. Afterwards Terri got tarred and feathered. It
should have happened sooner though. No star.
H & J vs. RVD & Flair
Not a bad match. Flair & Jeritol mainly fought
outside. RVD hit the Vandaminator on Triple H holding
the belt. Then he hit the Five star for the finish. **
Rey Mysterio vs. Billy
Billy really controlled the flow of the match until
Rey got the quick pin with the counter to the back
body drop. ** Afterwards....Chuck proposed to Billy.
Honestly, I had a good chuckle outta this. ESPECIALLY
after Tazz realized what was happening.
Noble vs. Shannone Whore
Whore has the WORST music ever! This SHOULD have been
a really face paced match, BUT the WWE can't book one
apparently. So they sluggishly fought, and Noble hits
the Tiger DRIVER for the win. **
Heyman and Lesnar confront Orton. I never realized Orton was so tall.
Edge & Rikishi talk about stinkfacing.
BROOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!! vs. Orton.
Not a bad match. Great actually. These guys have a
feel for working with each other and it shows well.
The finish was beautiful: Orton hits the flying
crossbody, Lesnar rolls, picks him up and F5's his
ass. *** Who DOESN'T love Brock!?!
Billy & Chuck shake Mark Henry's hand.
D-Von complains to Steph and she pimp slaps his ass.
Mark Henry vs. Tajiri
This is sad. Just terrible sad. Tajiri gets some GREAT
kicks off...but THIS IS WHAT THE GOD OF ECW HAS
BECOME!?!?! FUCK YOU STEPH!!! Henry gets the win off
of a fucking fat slam or something. *
Taker & Lesnar have a fun little interview. Heyman makes fun of Taker and Taker beats them up.
Leviathan vs. D-Von
Anyone wanna guess who won this?? OTHER DUDLEY? No
sir, you would be wrong. Batista with the sit down
powerbomb. **
Noble tells Nidia they'll get married but looks uh...like that ain't happening when they hug!
Matt shows off his stuff to Shannon Whore. Then Hardcore Holly bitches at him.
Guerrero & Angle are talking and Angle makes fun of Benoit. Then Benoit comes in and he & Guerrero make fun of him, laugh and leave.
Hardcore vs. Matt Hardy
Nice stiff match. Matt actually looked like he
wrestled. Then Holly kicked his ass, rolled him up and
won. **
BACKSTAGE! FUNAKI! #1 SMACKDOWN ANNOUNCER! He interviews Rico, and Rico says he'll be Billy's best man. I wonder if Triple H will kidnap Chuck and ruin the wedding?
Hurricane vs. Crash
Well, the WWE has officially RUINED a guy who was
going to be the future of wrestling: Shane Helms. He
jobs to Crash via rollup. *.5
Guerrero, Angle, Benoit vs. Rikishi, Taker *gong*,
Edge
I didn't really watch a lot of this until Angle &
Benoit started fighting. Eddie backed up into all
three of the faces and I could not stop laughing.
Eddie? BEST WRESTLER IN THE WWE! He puts his arm
around Rikishi and points at Angle & Benoit fighting.
I seriously can't stop laughing. The faces then kick
his ass. He gets pinned after Taker chokeslams him.
***. FUNNAY ASS MATCH!!
Chavo cuts a promo, but it isn't about Moore's humiliating loss in a shamefully slow "Cruiserweight match".
Funaki beats Mike Awesome worse than Noble beat that dumbass with a girl's name.
Cena cuts a promo that sucks but still features him speaking instead of staring at Helms like a girly man.
John Cena defeats Chavo just like he did Chris "needs Prozac" Jericho who may be burnt out but at least he got to the main event, a place Shannononananana Moore will never be.
The highlight of Confidential this week was John Cena. So basically, Confidential SUCKED ASS! Cena talked about his tendencies to be the life of the party, his football glory days, and his great wrestling career. By god, is he concieted or what?
Next Chris Jericho talked aout his band and such. I just noticed that his stage name is Mongoose Mcqueen. *scratches head* Um, yeah...whatever.
Brock Lesnar relived his Undisputed Title win at SummerSlam two weeks ago
Trish and bubba working on a stacker 2 commercial
Finally, Mean Gene recapped Eric Bischoff re-introducing us to the World Championship belt, which he presented to Triple H this past week on Raw.
So, that was all for your waste of airtime this weeek.
And that wraps up our first Maximum Recap, with me filling in for Alan who'll be back to do SD AND Heat I hear and also me filling in for Velocity because God knows what Skittles does these days but it ain't recapping.
Johnny Awards
Best Wrestler:BROCK
Best Promo:Funaki
Worst Wrestler:Mark Henry
POS Award:Jerry Lawler
Best Recap:Zak (SmackDown)
Best Show:SmackDown
