Brought to you BY... AngryJohnny

Heat
September 08, 2002
Alan Edwards

Some Guy VS Perfectshawn
The first match we see tonight is Shelton Benjamin, a newcomer with a resemblance of Elix Skipper, taking on the man from Planet Stasiak. The first true offensive moves in the match are back to back hiptosses and a scoop slam by Benjamin. Shawn thinks he tosses Benjamin over the top rope, but as he poses, Benjamin holds the ropes and pulls himself back up and over. Benjamin throws Stasiak out of the ring. Stasiak reenters and blatantly chokes the newcomer, hits a suplex and finds a two count. Stasiak takes this control to apply some stomps and more choking on the ropes. Shawn applies the sleeper, but Benjamin recovers with an elbow and a failed sunset flip attempt, and a two count. Stasiak pays Benjamin back with a clothesline and an attempted vertical suplex, which Benjamin reversed into a reverse neckbreaker. Damn good move by Benjamin, who pulls out some fast kicks, punches, an elbow, a backdrop...this guy is talented, and as the announcers say, "on fire." Shawn pulls out the desperation spinebuster, but Benjamin pulls out the desperation shoulder up on two. The "Money Clip" is the finishing move, and he hits it...something of a spinning superkick. This is good for the three count, and Shelton Benjamin is our winner. Out of four stars, 3 for this one.

After a break, highlights from the Triple H and Shawn Michaels match from SummerSlam are shown, and Triple H is painted as the complete terrible heel that he once was. An interview with Michaels, from Raw, was shown. He talks about the physical rehab, the pain, and whether or not the match was worth it. HBK says that if it was good enough for the fans, it was definitely worth it. JR fuels a fire, and asks the Heartbreak Kid what he'd like to say to Triple H right now. The Showstopper responds that Triple H should know him better than anyone, but apparently he has forgotten...and Triple H should not hunt what he can't kill, and (as he holds up a sledgehammer) what goes around...will definitely come around.

Commercial break.

Raven vs D-Lo from last week's Heat was shown, where Raven was defeated.

Axl Rose VS Lil Dudley
Back to the here and now, and Raven is coming down the ramp. D-Lo stands up at the announce table and stares Raven down. Raven's opponent, Spike Dudley, makes his way down the ramp. The ECW chants fire up loud, and D-Lo sits at the announce table and badmouths Raven, and Raven directs some comment towards him. D-Lo is all fired up as Raven goes down to Spike's headscisscors, clothesline over the top, and a leap over the top rope. Raven reverses Spike's whip, and bounces Spike off the turnbuckle hard. Again, Spike into a turnbuckle and Raven with his trademark clothesline, and more taunts to D-Lo along the line. Raven slingshots Spike's throat and neck right into the bottom rope and applies the sleeper. Spike counters with a jawbreaker. Raven gets up and reapplies the sleeper, but Spike reverses it. Raven picks up Spike while in the sleeper, and backs him into the turnbuckle to break the hold. Both men are down. We almost see a double count-out, as they both get up on the nine-count, and Spike spears Raven slightly below the belt, followed up by punches, a running bulldog and a lariat for the two count. Raven gets a knee up on Spike to even things up a bit, and hits a short powerbomb to take the advantage. Raven taunts D-Lo as he mounts the turnbuckle to lay some punches on Spike. Spike is down and D-Lo stands up at the announce table, with Raven directing his attention in D-Lo's direction. Spike rolls up a surprised Raven for a three-count victory. I miss Raven as a mid-card from WCW days gone by. He's just not the same. 2.5 stars this time around, probably his lowest rating ever from me.

After some words from our sponsors, we see a recap from the break of Raven leaving, and D-Lo exchanging some unpleasant words with him.

We see the recap of Triple H receiving the Raw Title, which is the old, much more attractive WCW title. We see Flair coming out to challenge Triple H, and Triple H punking out Flair. During the match, we see Jericho coming down to lock the Walls of Jericho on Flair, RVD runs by Triple H, pushing Triple H in the process to make the save in the ring. Triple H comes back to the ring for RVD, but the Whole F'n Show lets Triple H know that he's not the only Raw wrestler who is championship material. He lays Triple H out. We see Bischoff discussing with Triple H and Jericho later, who will get to take on RVD that night in the main event. Bischoff decides on a tag match between all four aforementioned wrestlers. We see RVD pin the champ to win the main event after a Rolling Thunder, a countered Pedigree, a spinning heel kick by RVD, some cheating by Jericho, a lionsault to RVD, and a kickout. Van Dam hits the Frogsplash on Triple H for the victory.

Time for a break, Stevie Richards and Goldust is our main event...and it's next.

WWE Rewind, brought to you by Castrol GTX, shows us Booker defeating Regal on Raw, and finishing the night with a spinaroonie.

GolDustin VS Big Stevie Cool
At the bell, things start slowly. Goldust hits the "Butt Bomb?" Yeah...whatever that is. I've missed alot. Some other offense by Goldust, until Richards gets advantage for a few seconds and mimics Goldust's breathing gimmick. This doesn't sit well with Goldust, who takes advantage back. However, there is no full advantage gained by either side through some fast-paced action loaded with reversals. Both men go down, get up, trade punches, and Goldust follows it up with multiple clotheslines, an inverted atomic drop, and a two-count. Goldust mounts the turnbuckle for the ten punches to Richards' forehead, and sets him up for the Golden Globes, but Stevie thinks he'll try for the Stevie Kick. Neither move works, Goldust regains composure and hits the Curtain Call for the victory in tonight's main event. Great match, great end to a great show. 3.5 out of four stars for this one. Interesting night, hopefully I haven't missed too much in my time away. Goldust seems to be getting pushed, and getting pops from the crowd. I liked where his gimmick with Booker was going when I stopped watching, and I hope it's being carried out still. Out of ten possible Golden Globes, my first recap back to Smarktown receives a respectable 8. Not a bad show. Drop back for the SmackDown recap on Friday, and be on the lookout for a rant once I see what has happened, and find something to complain about. Comments? alanpugh43130@hotmail.com is the way to get 'em to me. This is Mr. Heat, signing off...thank you for listening...to...the...radio... **Static**

The show graces us with no snappy scenes of RVD kicking HHH's ass! I feel ripped. Instead we get...

The Big Red Retard & Stanshaw vs. The Not So Americans who live in Florida
I honestly enjoyed this match, despite the two slow fat mongoloids. No not J.R. and Lawler, Kane & Stanshaw. Storm as always held the match over real well, and showed Kane how a flying lariat SHOULD be done. And like Lawler said, Storm was all OVER the place. We got the inevitable ref bump, Test TRIED to interfere but Stanshaw kicked his ass....and then FINALLY Regal runs in and makes his official entry into the Un-Americans. ***

Uncle Eric comes out and tells us he'll give us HLA...HOT LESBIAN ACTION! YAY! Then he says there will be a fatal four way tonight for the first contender's spots. RVD vs. Gay Hardy vs. El Espectaculoso Mas Grande vs. Chris Can't Wrestlicho. You made Shane cry.

Speaking of Terri interviews Jeritol and he spits apples on her. I'm sure she's used to having stuff fly in her face by now though. Ooh TAG.

Backstage Triple H talks about how he's not scared of RVD. He's boinking Steph! Bubba TOUGH confronts him and Triple H says he's facing Spike instead. Bubba gets up in his face till Stevie comes in and kicks his ASS!!

We see the Tits of the show walk next to the Lesbian door.

Bubba TOUGH vs. The new HBK
Decent match I'll say. Two classic ECW workers getting airtime? Works for me. What if they gave you Sandman/911? Bubba mainly controlled the match, especially showing his neato release german suplex and head butt/spear thing. I believe it ended with one hell of a Super Powerbomb off the top rope. Stevie jobs. **.5

Good Wrestler Girl & Legs vs Ugly & Tits Stratus
I was saddened to see that mainly this was all about Terri Runnels. Ok, WHOEVER is infatuated with this woman and cheers for her needs a serious kick to the head. Anyways, the spots with Victoria & Trish working were great. Especially when Trish stiffed Victoria with her boot. Unfortunately the match ends with Terri hitting the flying crossbody off the top rope onto Stacy. Please. *

Backstage Regal berates Chris Harvard for being a horndog. A pity indeed!

So Chris Harvard comes out and berates Iowa State!! Yessir!! Then out comes our hero Tommy Dreamer and they start into a little fight with Singapore canes! Tommy gets the upperhand and welcomes Chris Harvard to the WWE with some nice caning. Hell...best part of the show so far!!

Backstage Spike gets stopped by Lesbians! And they are UGLY!!!

The Star of the Show vs. the Runt of the Litter
Ok I expected a LOT out of this match because Hunter had always said he wanted to wrestle Spike. And for awhile this really did remind me of 99 - 00 Triple H when he was trying. Triple H actually gave us some believeability that he would lose the match to Spike. And that's all I was looking for. Spike almost got the win with the Acid Drop but Hunter put his foot on the rope. Then Hunter choked his ass out. Not a bad finish. I wish the WWE would show more often that the sleeper hold will finish ANYONE. It's shit like that, that when you say it, I just don't know... ***

Coach asks Gay Hardy about the match. He's mad AND painted!! Then he confronts Uncle Eric, and actually shows some good promo work. Wow. Sexual tension always makes a promo better.

Jeritol and El Expectaculoso Mas Grande are talking. Johnny DA Bull tells Grande to team with Jericho and then he chokes his EYETalian ass!

Booker, Goldust, Kane & Bradshaw cut one funny ass promo. SUCKAAAAAAAAAA

Booker Tea & Goldfreak vs. Testicle & Regal
I can't really say I watched too much of this. It was over after the promo for me. What I DID see was Booker getting the Power of the Punch, Kane & Bradshaw running in, Storm & Christian running in and the Americans having fun! **

HLA!! Hot Lesbian Action! Then I realize this is pretty stupid. But Lawler says he hopes that they'll bring HLA to Denver, and I can't say I'll mind seeing that live. Anyhoo....the girls...they just go...a little too long to be entertaining....3 minutes too long! Jamal and Rosie KILL them!! THEY KILL THEM BUT GOOD!! I like it! Get out of the house for a few hours man.

In back RVD & Ric Flair mingle.

El Expectaculoso Mas Grande vs. Jeritol vs. RVD vs. Gay Hardy
First one out is Grande via one of the classic heel maneuvers of all time! Show stops Jericho from hitting him with a chair and grabs it. The ref comes too right to see Jeritol faux fall in pain and he DQ's Grande. Grande chokeslams everyone. Gay & RVD wrestle some good until Jericho lionsaults Gay for the pin. Then Triple H comes out to watch. RVD & Jeritol go at it until RVD hits the five star for the win. *** Not bad. But Not great. RVD is #1 contender. Hoooaaaah!

Not Over VS BROCK
Millions of people are probably groaning right now, going "ohhhhh, why this?" but I'm excited. There are two reasons for this. One, This match should be stiffer than Johnny when it comes time for the tip at Pizza Hut (unless the waitress is cute, then the wallet empties onto the table...Johnny, tips aren't a good way to pick up waitresses. It's a good way to get free mints.) Keep talking, maybe you'll get to be Mr. Afterburn. The other reason, as long as BROCK is wrestling someone different every week, jobber or not, it solidifies him as kicking a whole lot of asses, being a good champion, and not wrestling the same two or three guys over and over and over and...you've seen it, you know what I mean. There are some of those extremely stiff shots I was talking about, and a beautiful belly to belly vertical suplexy by the champ. Hardcore takes BROCK Lesnar down with a tackle through the ropes, but BROCK Lesnar quickly regains his advantage with drives into the turnbuckle and another belly to belly vertical ON THE OUTSIDE! They reenter the ring, a two count...a STIFF clothesline by BROCK, and a nice vertical hold suplex...about 5 or 6 seconds of vertical hold, as a matter of fact. BROCK Lesnar locks on the bearhug, which the announcers remind us caused internal bleeding on Hogan last month. Holly battles back but BROCK Lesnar just suplexes him for the two count. Holly battles back again, only to miss a dropkick from the second rope. BROCK Lesnar goes to powerbomb Holly and drops him on his HEAD! Looks like a blown spot but the announcers sell it as a cruel dangerous move. Holly reverses the momentum and really looks great for about 15 seconds, getting the two count. However, BROCK gets the F5 out of nowhere to retain the title in what is probably already the match of the night. This is a perfect four star match!!!!!!!!!

Lugs Boot of the Week, Edge spears and Regalikishi stinkfaces Eddie Guerrero.

Los Guerreros vs Vanilla and Teeth
Gotta love the mullet! And it's nice to see Eddie and Chavo teaming up. But doesn't anyone miss Pepe? I swear, Saturn just HAD to put him through the woodchipper. Latino Heat puts Edge through his own woodchipper as Rob Zombie sings, but the momentum is reversed with a big facebuster. Cena holds up Eddie by the mullet. The mullet should not be abused. Eddie's armbar on Cena fails, as Cena turns both armbars applied to him into a double arm drag takedown, then Edge pulls the double clothesline. Chavo and Cena in the ring, the action is fast paced as is expected. Eddie comes in, legally for once...and applies some hurt to the rookie, but Cena presses Eddie TWICE. The second time, Chavo comes in and clips the knee. The hot tags are made and Edge cleans house, until Eddie grabs his foot from the outside and sterilizes Edge with one split-legged pull into the ringpost. Eddie and Edge in the ring, Eddie hitting suplexes, punches, etc. Typical double team type stuff while the ref is distracted with Cena, and one hell of a headscissor takedown by Latino Heat. Los Guerreros are sporting matching red tights with flames, by the way, and Chavo seems more...intense than I ever remember seeing him. Edge begins to fight back and hits a kind of pathetic looking faceplant. An original kind of hot tag made to both corners and Cena cleans house, Chavo saves the three count, Edge goes to the top and clotheslines Chavo, misses a spear on Eddie, Chavo hits the gourdbuster on Cena, Eddie hits the Frogsplash on Edge for the three count. Chavo pulls down his tights for Eddie to give Edge a stinkface, but Edge reverses it and Chavo stinkfaces his uncle. Original, and fast paced. This was two interesting teams in an interesting matchup...it meshed very well and the match was high quality in both wrestling and entertainment aspects. Another four star match. Two in a row!

After break, we have in interesting follow-up segment, Eddie angry and Chavo apologizing, promising that he had wiped. Very funny stuff indeed.

And on to a serious segment, Michael Cole interviewing Undertaker and questioning his idea of bringing Sara to tonight's event despite Paul Heyman's comments. Matt Hardy comes up and congratulates Undertaker on his wife's pregnancy, and attempts to go in and see Sara. Undertaker stops him and says she doesn't NEED Matt's congratulations, shoves him into another door across the hall, and slams the door shut. Matt says to himself that Undertaker needs a Mattitude adjustment, whatever that is.

Another funny segment, Rico is on his phone, hangs up, and bursts into Steph's office. Yep, other than that huge ugly chest, Steph's still the second hottest lady of wrestling (After Stacy Keibler). He is afraid because parts of the ceremony don't seem to be coming together, and they need a witness to be 'official.' Steph said she has bad luck with any kind of wedding, but if they need a witness, she'd be glad to offer her help.

Rey "Better than Shannon Moore" Mysterio VS The Best
The only matches I seen at SummerSlam were Triple H/HBK and the main event, so I missed this one the first time around. I was really interested in seeing how the lucha-libre of Rey mixed with the amateur stylings of Kurt. Kurt's still bald and they're still chanting "You Suck!" Your olympic hero has a mic..."How appropriate, we're here in "Mini" and I have a return match with Rey Misterio, get it?" He says that's a hell of a lot funnier than his stinkface last week...but what's NOT funny is what's gonna happen to Rey Misterio tonight. He says that they all like Rey because they'd benefit from wearing masks themselves...and if he EVER sees Benoit laughing at him again, there's gonna be two holy unions tonight. Billy and Chuck, and Benoit's face and Kurt's fist. Misterio, Kurt says, is a boy in a man's world, and Kurt is a man who likes to play with boys. No, wait, he says...he means he's gonna LOVE to manhandle Rey. No, wait, he says...he means tonight he's gonna get on top of Rey...and...no, nevermind...he's just gonna kick Rey's butt tonight. How romantic. We'll get to see it after break. Another great piece of mic work from your Olympic Hero.

I LOVE Rey's entrance! It's not quite "Bow Wow Wow" by K-Dogg, but the little jumping out of the groud thing is great. Kurt starts things off with a standing tilt-a-whirl. Some follow-up amateur stuff from Kurt, and some paintbrushes. Rey pulls a drop toe hold and some other offense, flying headscissors, some random acrobatics using the ropes, springboard into a moonsault, sunset flip, and a couple of two counts. Kurt evens things up with a desperation German Suplex, following up with a couple of backbreakers and a nearfall. Spinning heel kick from Misterio but Kurt hits an over-the-top belly to belly suplex and applies the bearhug on the mat. Misterio sits up, still in the bearhug, and flips backward into an acrobatic pin. Rey fails at an enziguri attempt and Kurt hits a couple of linked suplexes a la Benoit. Rey reverses a third attempt into a bulldog, and both men are down for 6 counts. Rey damn near gets three with some flip off the top rope, extremely impressive. Two suicide moves, including a corkscrew over the top to take down Kurt on the outside. Back into the ring with a springboard legdrop. Kurt almost gets the Ankle Lock, but Rey hits another swinging-through-the-ropes move and a headscissors for VERY close to a three count. Rey goes up to the top but Kurt hits a desperation top rope Olympic Slam for the pinfall victory in the THIRD CONSECUTIVE four star match, and the "You Suck!" chants begin!

A limo arrives, and is allowed in as a member of the "wedding party."

FAT vs Canadian Jesus
Now it's my turn to groan. "Ohhhhh, why this?" Benoit is very talented. He made Sid Vicious look good in his last WCW match. SID VICIOUS! If he can put that guy's talent over, he can do anything. But Rikishi? That's a stretch, the size of those big ol' things that Rikishi wears. I think he makes his outfit out of old ring ropes, just ties them up and yanks them...ehhh...nevermind. Rikishi takes down Benoit once, hits a decent spinebuster to take him down again, and then gets the low blow from Benoit. Some nice, vicious chops from the Rabid Wolverine takes the Dancing One down, and Benoit puts on the Crippler Crossface. Rikishi gets an advantage again and drops Benoit flat on his face, then drags him into the corner for a rumpshaker...but Benoit gets under Rikishi and drops all 350 pounds of him onto the mat. Benoit goes up top for the headbutt, but Kurt interferes and attempts an Olympic slam and fails. He gets kicked out of the ring by Rikishi, but holds Benoit's arms as Rikishi applies the stinkface. Okay, so who's against who here? Angle leaves, laughing all the way, and smarks and marks alike just scratch their heads. 1 star, only because I got to see Benoit's taunt again.

Billy and Chuck Commitment Ceremony

This could be typical, it could be interesting. We'll probably know in about three minutes. The setup is nice, flowers and the altar and everything. Benoit's in Steph's office and demands a match with Angle at Unforgiven. Matt Hardy interrupts and Steph tells him he has to wait. She grants Benoit's match, Benoit says something angry and intense and leaves. Matt "demands" a match with the Undertaker. She assumes he means at Unforgiven, but he says he means TONIGHT. She grants this match as well, and Matt says tonight, he guarantees victory...and he gives Steph the FREAKIN' SHOCKER!!!!!!! Haha...yeah...I'll fill ya in later, if ya don't already know...

Rico's walking to the "altar" in the ring, and he complains that the ladies need to do their hair, that the flowers are pansies instead of tulips, that the altar is not mahogany like he requested...general decorating things. He says he has a headache the size of Long Island. We take a break, he probably takes a puff off his joint off camera. Well, we could hope anyways.

We're on the air, and Steph comes down to join Rico Constantino, our emcee. He says some nice things about how special these events are, and begins their pink and purple entrance to the tune of "It's Raining Men." Billy and Chuck have fuchsia cumberbunds emblazoned with their names. Their bowties are the same shade of fuchsia. Line of the night goes to Tazz: "They're not booing, they're chanting Rico!" The preacher guy is really really odd. Really, REALLY odd. They begin their self wriitten vows. Billy puts the ring on Chuck's hand, and Rico introduces "Our Love Story," a video package he's assembled of Billy and Chuck's time together. It's surrounded by a pinkish and bluish mist, and it's accompanied by a slow love ballad. It's highlights from matches, backstage, entrances, and other moments together. The GODFATHER COMES OUT WITH HIS HO'S!!!!!!! This is right after the "Justice of Peace" guy says "speak now or forever hold your peace." He has like two dozen ho's with him, and I don't think they're escorts anymore. I think they're just ho's.

Godfather says when he heard there was a party going on, he knew Minneapolis was the next stop for the Ho Train, so let the good times roll, because the Godfather is back in business. He says he likes Rico's fashion sense, but he has to stop the ceremony because the truth must be heard. He asks Billy what happened, because he knows Billy still has the pimp in him. He remembers that the fine ladies used to like him so much that he had to ask them to stay away, because his cookies were giving away too much free nookie. He says Chuck used to be a notorious skirt-chaser, and he liked the heavier girls. He asks what in the hizzell is going on in here. Rico interrupts and says no one wants to see Godfather and his...his...his good-time girls, and he asks Godfather to remove himself from the building. Billy and Chuck are discussing something important out of microphone range, and object to Rico's escorting of Godfather out of the building. Godfather says if Rico can't use his services, he doesn't know what he's missing when he misses a ride on the Ho Train, and the Godfather retreats with his ladies. Papa Shango would've stopped the wedding with VODDO~!

Rico tries to continue as normal, and asks the Justice of Peace to skip right to the "I Do" part. Billy says "yes," and the justice asks Chuck the same questions, as the crowd chants "just say no." Rico pushes him to say yes. And Chuck says..."yes." And by the power vested in me, I pronounce you....Chuck interrupts, and Billy does as well. They say this wasn't supposed to go this far, they aren't gay. This was just supposed to be a publicity stunt, but it wasn't supposed to go this far. Rico screams at them, and the preacher screams for them to stop. He says a commitment is a very special thing, and the bond that Chuck and Billy have is sacred, and that will never change, whether it lasts 50 years, 16 months, or THREE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FREAKIN' BISCHOFF!!!!! THREE MINUTES!!!!! Where are the Island Boys? Oh that mask was DAMN good! The hair...the voice...Rico kicks Billy, Chuck goes after Rico. The Island Boys come in and take out everyone, including a Samoan drop on Stephanie!!! Rey Rey and Cena come down and chase Rico, Jamal, and Rosie through the crowd. Kurt, Christian, D-Von, Chavo, Hurricane, Eddie and possibly others hit the ring to look out for Steph as the screen fades to black for commercial break. Unbelievable. I heard Bischoff might be involved, but that was AWESOME! I'm not supposed to rate segment, but 2345234531 stars!!!

Mrs. Billy Don't Be a Hero VS Taylor Should've Won
Jamie Knoble is barred from ringside, and this match is brutal from the start. Nidia plays her part well, and the wrestling is decent quality. Not to mention stiff. This is totally unrelated, but I SWEAR I heard Tazz say "Holy Shit" uncut during the Island Boys segment. While I obsess about that, Torrie Wilson picks up a pinfall via Russian Leg Sweep.

100% MATTITUDE VS Old Man From Texas
OK, so while I was gone, the Hardyz split up, one's on each show, they're both main eventing, and one's sorta heeling? WHAT THE HELL?! Regardless, we have a cruiser not named Misterio taking on a big man who held the Undisputed title a few months ago. What's up with the new music and entrance? And why is Matt coming out with the champ and Paul? Why try to figure it out? The crowd is popping huge for Undertaker these days. His match with Jeff was better, and he's not even in the ring yet on this one. Taker throws his shirt at Brock before the fight starts, and Heyman's already screwing with the ref, throwing in a chair and other typical Heyman stuff. Undertaker tosses Matt around like a rag doll, and prepares for a piledriver or last ride. Heyman distracts the ref, and as Mike Chioda sends him to the back, Matt hits the low blow. Brock gets some interference with a clothesline. Mike Chioda throws out Brock, now, as well. Matt has the advantage from the interferences, but the Twist of Fate is reversed into a clothesline, aptly put by Tazz: it looks like he got hit by a telephone pole. The momentum goes back to Undertaker, and Matt looks damn near beaten already. Backstage, Heyman's in the Deadman's dressing room with Sara, and Undertaker's on his way back, quick. He asks how Sara will take care of an infant child after Brock finishes Taker. Taker runs in and Brock hits one hell of a chairshot on Taker. Brock grabs Sara and says "Life's a bitch." Brock and Paul walk out, Sara leans down to check on her husband, and the screen fades. The match, almost nonexistent, gets no rating, because it merely served as part of a segment.

This show actually turned out to be very decent. The commitment ceremony really caught me off guard, and alot of my personal favorites showed up tonight. Eddy, Rey, Brock, Kurt, Benoit...those guys MAKE the wrestling part of the show to me. The entertainment side was dominated by Billy, Chuck and Easy E. Maybe I should hand out some awards like Johnny does, but maybe Johnny should put me in his will. Maybe Skittles is really writing recaps somewhere, and stashing them all away, laughing maniacally because the shows are recapped but Johnny STILL has to do them. Maybe Brock Lesnar really IS Goldberg. Maybe Undertaker really IS the Honky Tonk Man. Or Jeff Jarrett. Maybe I should rate the show. Out of a possible 10 "Strokes," this show receives ALL FREAKIN' TEN...and a guitar shot, just for the hell of it. Mr. HEAT has to burn some rubber...stop back next week for all the latest WWE action...and I don't mean the Hot Lesbian kind. RadioGuy...........signing off!

*static*

Other Dudley VS Shannon Sucks
Dvon starts out by choking shannon. Shannon squeals like a girl. Shannon Moore then follows up with a huracanrana, and screws it up, as he falls on his own head. D-Von pins Shannon Moore for a 2 count. D-Von hits another snapmare, puts on a headlock, and then delivers a knee to Shannon Moore’s gut. D'Von dropped Shannon face-first across the steel to pick up the win! Both Dvon and Shannon worked a fairly good match. ***

Mr. Elctricity VS Billy Don't Be A Hero
Randy Orton starts going at Billy Kidman. Billy Kidman hits a dropkick and pins Randy Orton for a 2 count. Randy Orton then hits a lame neckbreaker and pins Billy Kidman for a 2 count. They go at it again and Orton does another neckbreaker to score the pinfall! **

Footage of Billy and Chuck's wedding and the whole incident with Eric Bischoff, The Island Boys, Stephanie & RICO was shown. The more I see it, the more I like. Twas a GREAT wedding!!!!

Droz's Personal Piercing Artist VS SHOICHI FUNAKI
Funaki comes out and cuts another FAB promo. Albert pins Funaki for a 2 count. Albert delivers a knee to the gut. “Shave Your Back” chants for Albert. he scooped Funaki up into the torture Rack and turned it first into a backbreaker and pins Funaki for the 3 count. **

Finally, the best match of the night...

HurriShane and The Leprechaun VS Jamie San and The God Amongst Men Yoshihiro Tajiri
Hurricane comes out without his tunic *faints* The Hurricane puts on an armlock and a headlock on Tajiri. headbutts Jamie Noble into Tajiri’s groin. Crash Holly comes in withJamie Noble comes in and so does Hurricane. The Hurricane cleans house. Tajiri comes in and works on Crash. Crash ducks the knockout kick and scored with the Crash Landing to secure the pin for him and Hurricane! This match put the biggest smile on my face for it was the best match of the night. Hurricane worked most of the match. *****

Velocity was pretty good overall. I give it an 8.

VERY LATE

What happened on Confidential? Nothing Important. Do you really care? Probably not. Why am I doing this? I don't know!

First segment, Vince Mcmahon talks to fans about the whole Billy & Chuck controversy and that he's not really "bashing" gay people. He's just trying to make the show more entertaining. (Goes to show how Brilliant WWE is) Why not put WRESTLING on a WRESTLING show?

Some old school clips of Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair, DDP, Sting, and Hulk Hogan winning the NWA/WCW Title are shown.

Torrie tours England after promoting the upcoming Rebellion PPV. Blah.

The show was okay, Rating=7

And that wraps up our second Maximum Recap, Tina is SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

Oh and go buy "Happenstance" the new Fozzy album.

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