Dark Matches:

Kaientai w/Dick Togo d. Super Dragon & Shogun

Jazz w/Jackie d. Ayako Hamada

Simon Diamond d. Crash Holly

Dudley Boys d. Backseat Boys

Great Sasuke w/Gran Naniwa d. Kid Kash

Show Opens. ECW Theme hits and we get a recap of the four entrants into the TV Title bracket. Shots ala WWF Pay Per View production (like the Hogan/HHH preview) are shown of Shannon Thoore, Jerry Lynn, Little Guido, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. Who will advance this week? Is shown across the screen. They then quickly we get a recap of Regal winning the #1 contender’s spot after Edge gives RVD a bloodbath. JR welcomes us to ECW and Cyrus says go away. 2 minutes

RVD’s music hits and out comes the Whole F’N Show. He showboats and Cyrus asks "He touches these people?!?" RVD gets on the mic (?!) and calls out Edge. He starts tearing into Edge until Tanaka’s music hits. Tanaka comes face to face with RVD in the ring. RVD puts his hands up asking what his deal is. Tanaka utters something in japanese, shrugs and as RVD looks at the crowd he delivers a roaring elbow. RVD back bumps and Tanaka launches in. Brawling followed by a waistlock. RVD pivots out, kips up and gets a roundhouse into the face of the rising Tanaka. Tanaka backbumps, and slouches back into the corner. Wipes his mouth and screams. The lights hit. Crowd cheers Saaaaabuuuuuuu again, but when the lights go out the receive an even greater sight. Jato and Gedo are standing behind RVD as he is facing Tanaka. A group beatdown of RVD ensues. Tanaka covers the ground with chairs and Tornado DDTs RVD into them. RVD groggily tries to get up but he’s taken out by a spear from Edge as he entered through the crowd. As RVD lays unconscious bleeding as Edge grabs the mic. "Hey Rob, I want you to meet some new friends of mine…" He hands the mic to Tanaka "TEAM NO RESPECT!!" 5 minutes

Backstage we see Foley angry as hell and marching towards the arena when Todd Gordon catches him. "Mick, calm down. I brought those guys in." Foley: " Why the hell would you do that! Those guys were the japanese precedent for the En Dubbayu Oh!" Gordon: "Mick you’re just going to have to trust me on this. I’ve got big plans that involve these guys." Foley grudgingly agrees and camera fades. 2 minutes

As we see a shot for the Scorpion King movie the screen turns Red White and Green. We hear that oh so awesome spanish polka theme and out comes Chavo Guerrero. Chavo saunters into the ring and leans against the ropes. Cue superhero music and Shannon Thoore. Start with a tie up and they test each other’s strength until Chavo gets the upper hand, with an elbow lock. Shannon tries to reverse but Chavo knees him in the gut and elbows him in the face. Shannon stumbles back, irish whip by Chavo followed up by a clothesline and Shannon is over the ropes. Chavo planchas over and hits it right on. He gets up and bows much to the chagrin of the ECW crowd. He gets back in the ring and leans on the ropes taunting Shannon. Shannon is up and Chavo tries for a baseball slide but Shannon catches him and catapults him into the ropes. Chavo’s face smacks them and he bounces on his back hard. Shannon jumps up, bounds over the ring and guillotine leg drops Chavo. Cover. 2 count. JR tries to call the match but as Cyrus reminds him, not every move can be "high impact!" Konnan snickers and then JR talks about the main event for Backlash until Cyrus tells him to shut up and call THIS match. "Yeah Bar B Que Boy" quips Konnan. Shannon still in control of the match. Tries pulling a suplex but Chavo reverses intoa a brainbuster with a pin. 2 count. Chavo picks up Shannon, Irish whips him, falls to his stomach as Shannon runs over him, dashes to the other side of the ring and pulls off a spring board splash onto Thoore. Cover. Kick out. Chavo insults the ref and turns around into a superkick. Eddie makes a run in and tries to toss "unkown substance" into Thoore’s face. He ducks and he hits Chavo instead. Shannon super kicks Eddie, and gets off a turnbuckle assisted Tornado DDT on Chavo for the three count. Shannon advances to the Finals at Backlash. 15 minutes

Sharmell interviews Jerry Lynn in the back to get his feedback on Shannon Thoore’s second upset victory of the night. Lynn: "That’s just fine. But at Backlash the only person disappointed will be Thoore. Cause after I take care of Guido tonight Thoore and his silly superhero ass is going to find out why I’m the New Fucking Show." 1 minute.

The arena goes black as the opening riff to "Survive if I Let You" hits. Two orange spotlights hit the stage and out comes Tazz. Towel over his head, singlet on and boots laced up. FTW on his wraps. Tazz gets in the ring and pushes over John Finnegan while going for the mic. "You know, I spent two years in the WWF. Two years of WORTHLESS HORSESHIT talking next to some silly little bastard about the Stone Colds and the Hogans. They changed my damn name, made me a jobber , and what did I get out of this? A fucking monkey suit and a damn run with the Tag belts with the RUNT of the Dudley Litter. Oh, and I got to get my training footage thrown on the cutting floor for that piece of shit show Tough Enough. Fuck MTV! Well tonight, that shit changes! Tonight I go back to being the Thug! Tonight I’m going hardcore on any asshole who wants to try me! TONIGHT I’M TAZ DAMMIT!! BEAT ME IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF I LET YOU!" And with that we hear Crowbar’s music. Crowbar runs in and runs right into a gargoyle tazplex. Taz pumps up and we see him beckoning Crowbar to bring it on. Crowbar tries to sweep Taz, but Taz catches him in an armbar. "C’mon you WCW hardcore shit! C’mon! Is that all you’ve got!" Taz yells, but before he can say anymore Crowbar rolls out of the armbar and stiffs Taz in the mouth with an elbow. He rolls outside and sets up a table as Taz is recovering. He runs back in and clobs Taz with a couple or rights and a stiff kick. Crowbar goes up top for a splash. As he comes down Taz catches him and Belly to Belly suplexes him right out of the ring and through the table. Taz rolls out and lays into Crowbar. He whips him into a steel railing. Chair shot to follow up. He rolls him back into the ring and waits for him to get up so he can lay in the Tazmission…right when he’s about ready to pounce Al Snow runs in with a J.O.B. Squad shirt on and lays out Taz with Head. He cracks him on the head a few more times before Taz is out. He grabs him by the singlet and starts yelling about the Tough Enough kids. "If you weren’t such a fucking psycho your dumbass would have been on tv too!" Snow grabs Crowbar and lays him over Taz as he gets the win. 10 minutes.

We hear a cackling laughter as Hugh Morris comes out along with the Sinister Minister. Then the "Funkamania" hits and out comes Allen Funk w/ Jimmy Hart. As they make their entrance Minister stares down Jimmy and laughs. Jimmy is just a little bit taken back as he hides behind Funk during his entrance. Hugh approaches Funk and he roars…then he giggles. Funk looks at him cock-eyed and then poses the classic Hulkamania poses. Hugh pushes him down and does his own pose. Funkamania looks surprised. He gets back up and shoves Hugh who does nothing but scratch his head (think Bizarro). Hugh headbuts Funk. Funk stumbles around awestruck by the headbutt. He stumbles onto the second rope right in time for Morris to come over and choke him on it. Morris walks around and roars, and then turns around right into a Big Boot. Morris goes down but he gets back up as Funk is going for the legdrop. Funk not seeing it coming recieves a Farooq like spinebuster from Morris. JR cuts in "I don’t think we’ve ever seen anyone lay into the Funkster like this By God!" Cyrus counters "You never watched WCW did you?" Jr "What?" Konnan "Aw for the love of, your boss BOUGHT the damn place!" JR replies "Oh shut up Max Moon! Maybe we should let Sandman back in so you could get caned by him some more! You hoss wannabe" Konnan whimpers. Hugh picks up Funk by the head and tosses him across the ring. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere but the Minister shoots fire from his hands and blinds Hart. Crowd Sign: "Try that on for size Pogo, you Fuck!" Funkamania is down but he puts a finger up right as he recieves a Morrisault and is pinned. 10 minutes.

Backstage we see Foley and Corino playing the new ECW game patterned off of the Virtual Pro 3 engine. Coming soon damn you! As they’re enjoying a game, Douglas walks in on them and slaps the controllers out of their hands. Mick gets salty. "Douglas, don’t you know…NEVER FUCK WITH A MAN AND HIS VIDEO GAMES!!" Douglas tells Foley to shut up and that he wants Regal’s #1 slot. Foley tells Douglas he can’t because he’s gonna have his hands full with Corino who replies "Yeah!" Douglas threatens Foley and then walks out. But not before Corino smacks him from behing with his folding chiar!!! Corino violently attacks Douglas’ arm and as Foley tries to break it up, Foley gets a shot to the head too! By Jack Victory!! Corino looks over at him and grins. "Geez Jack, I sure am glad Todd hired you! We totally rule! Now do it!!" Jack "Now? So early?!" Steve: "C’mon!!!" Jack: "Ok…(He holds up the two fingers for Victory) HIGH SPOT!!" Corino giggles and the camera fades. 5 minutes

Lesnar and Benjamin hit the ring. They play to the crowd as Regal makes his way down to the announce table. Konnan has left because JR pissed him off. Regal : "Hello Mr. Cyrus. How’s the network business coming along good sir?" Cyrus: "Oh well with such fine gentlemen as you and your two "hosses" in the ring there how could the network NOT be pleased???" Jr: "Oh brother." Cyrus: "Hey! I’ll have you fired and we’ll resurrect Gordon Solie!! We ARE the Network! We can do that king of thing!!" The West Hollywood Blondes hit the scene with Stacy Keibler and dance around. Lenny licks his lollypop at Lesnar. Lesnar looks at Regal terrified as Regal shows his most disgusted face ever. Lodi holds up a sign: Where’s the Silence Behind the Violence?!?! And Where’s OUR pay per view spot?!? Lenny starts off with Lesnar. He strokes one finger down Lesnar’s chest and he immediately tags in Benjamin. Benjamin stares crazily at Lesnar, slaps him back and runs to the announce table. Lesnar’s mouth hangs wide open, until Lenny puts his lollypop into it. Lesnar’s mouth quivers as he spits it out. Lenny is flaberghasted and he bitch slaps Lesnar. Lesnar picks Lenny up and throws him across the ring. Lodi holds up a sign: You can’t do that!! And runs in the ring to get pie faced. Cyrus chimes in "He’s gone Hulk on us!!!" JR "Just like the Immortal Hulk Hog…." Cyrus cuts him off "No DUMBASS! Like the Incredible Hulk! And not that Bill Bixby shit either!" As Lesnar continues his unmitigated smashing of the two of them, Benjamin finally comes back in and joins them. As this beatdown ensues Triple H’s music hits. Hunter sort of walks slow in, as Stacy gets up on the Apron. She flashes Benjamin. Cyrus screams "SHE’S NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!! THERE’S YOUR HOSS AND YOUR RATINGS!!" He faints. A Holy Shit chant erupts and Triple H enters the ring. Lenny and Lodi get the 3D/Bulldog off on Benjamin and HHH starts at it with Lesnar. They fight outside as Lenny and Lodi both hop on Benjamin for the pin. Triple H runs Lesnar into a guardrail and knocks him out with the patented sledgehammer shot. He then tears off after Regal as Regal runs through the crowd. Afterwards Lenny and Lodi are STILL on top of Benjamin. Stacy tries to get them off off until a hand grabs her hair. Its Bubba Ray and D-Von. Bubba tosses Stacy to one side as Sign guy holds up a sign "I’ve got your violence right here!!" The Dudleys beat the crap out of the already beaten Lenny and Lodi. Lodi takes the 3D. D-Von get some tables. Lenny gets a REAL powerbomb from the top rope. And so does Stacy. They stand over the fallen 3 testfying. 15 minutes

Out comes Little Guido sans Tony Mamaluke. Guido comes out and gets on the top turnbuckle and does that classic italian "fuck off" taunt. Then we hear the roars and thrashing of guitars. Out comes Jeeeerrryyyy Lyyyyyyyn!! Fan holds up a sign that says: "Thanks for the memories there, Vince." It is announced by JR that this is a TV Title semi final match. Cyrus finally wakes up and takes a deep breath… "woooooo! JR, no one does it better!" Lynn and Guido start with a lockup, arm drag by Guido into another arm drag by Lynn into a kneeling armbar. Guido reverses and counters with an arm drag of his own and grapevines Lynn. Rope break by Lynn and both stare each other down. Guido does his fuck off taunt and Lynn answers with a drop kick to the knee. Leg drop, Guido rolls out of the way. He tries to grapevine Lynn’s leg but Lynn delivers a stiff kick to the head. Guido stumbles and Lynn takes advantage by hitting a snap suplex on Guido. Cover, kick out. Guido rolls out to catch some air but is hit with a suicide dive from Lynn. Both men are laying on the concrete outside. Lynn gets up first and whips Guido into the railing. Lynn runs at him with a steel chair but Guido counters with a backdrop over the guardrail. Guido goes over the rail and they battle into the crowd. Chair shots are hit. One jerk with a WCW shirt gets clobbered by both wrestlers. They make their way back to the ring. Lynn tries to knock Guido with a chair but he superkicks it into his face. Lynn is down but from the backstage comes a rather large fellow dressed all in black with the words "Masked Heel" on his shirt. He clubs Guido over the head with a nightstick and the recovering Lynn gets the cradle piledriver off on the steel chair for the win. Lynn advances to the finals. As he looks out the masked heel holds up his nightstick and points it at Lynn. Lynn looks pissed and we fade to black. Backstage we see Funk in his dressing room. He’s freaking about his loss tonight. He tries washing his face and he looks in the mirror and see….Hugh and Vampiro! He screams and freaks out! He starts yelling at Jimmy that he’s seeing them in the mirror and Jimmy doesn’t see anything. But they’re clearly there…"is Funkamania going insane Brotha?!" and that’s it for this week. 18 minutes