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"That's a sore subject with Scott Hall!" HATEJerry Lawler in a long series of alcohol jokes proving once again that: A. He can't announce B. He's not funny. And Heyman's better C. The WWF is nowhere NEAR done pissing on WCW's grave. God help the Four Horsemen. Hey, I'm back. As if you care. And I brought friends. They are Stan S. FirePro: friend who started watching b/c we used to play SmackDown all the time. The Green Smark. {The Franchise 2.5} Cliff Young: a fan that will enjoy a good product. The Silver Smarker. Zak Blak: watches wrestling for the technical mastery of the Dean Malenkos, and the storytelling of the Ric Flairs. The Black Smark. XShaneFallenX:YOUR pimp at the keyboard. The Blue Smark. Legend Neo: an intense fan. The Purple Smark. Angry Johnny: Chronic wrestling fan condition with no cure in sight (not even 6 months of Invasion). The Red Smark. Together we are a ragtag collection of super powered opinions and odd senses of humor. We are the Mighty Mutant Power Smarks. Don't think this is an exercise in agreeing, that we just all wanna bitch about the same things because we ended with some surprising answers to my questions. READY? IT"S SMARKIN TIME! Let's start out off with my personal definition of what we are often called. smark: noun, the halfway point between A. smart (one who believes they alone are right) and B. mark (1.one who buys everything Vince sells literally and figuratively; 2.a loyalist to a something. Examples: Lodi mark, hardcore match mark, powerbomb mark) In other words, jaded but not too bitter to stick with it. Today class, we'll be discussing the New World Order. Topic one: Kevin Nash. -------------------- Cliff's take Kevin Nash. What else needs to be said? You either love him, hate him, or don't care for him. I, particularly, fall into the 3rd category. While Nash is definitely lacking as far as in-ring work goes, in WCW at least, he did have a reason for it: he wasn't "motivated." Nash says that he was told the amount of time he had to fill, who was going to win, who he was wrestling, and that's it. He was never told to "have a good match." Never told to "make the people remember it." Just told to fill a timeslot. Of course, he could be bullshitting, but with the poor management of WCW, I believe him. I, for one, see him as a relative nice guy, but also an EXCELLENT politician. Nash knows what many people want to see, or at least DID want to see, and knows how to get what he wants. Right now, Nash is in great shape. He doesn't get winded as easily, and he seems to be nice backstage to all of the "boys." His knees, however, are almost shot to shit, and he will require an opponent that can carry him. Overall, I am a fan of Nash the character, not Nash the backstage persona, and I do feel as if Nash *can* work hard if motivated. ------------------------- Zak's take Ah, Mr.Nash. The topic of MANY stupid promos, skits, and gimmicks. The great and mighty OZ. Do I really HAVE to say more? I guess so. Damn. Anyhoo...I'm just not impressed with him really. Never was. I feel the same towards Test now as I did against Nash then. A) Ringwork. Ok, the guy looks sloppy and lazy in the ring. I remember when that jackknife looked devastating. Now it looks barely useable by Nash. He's going to be rusty. He's going to be slow. And he's gonna do the same old moves. Unless by some miracle of motivation, I don't see him doing crap. Much less tangling up with a guy like Benoit or Storm. B) Promos: He's not funny without Hall. Period. Big Sucky sucky long time. C) Backstage: Snake in the grass. The man threw the WCW TV title in the trash on national TV. Now it may not have meant shit to him, but to guys like Y2J, Malenko and Booker T I'm sure that stings quite a bit. That instance is a pure showing of how he is backstage. He may be covert about it, but he's still a snake. And not a rattlesnake either. One of those crappy snakes like Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world! Well, if Nash wants to go out with the WWF, fine. I hope he does it honorably. I'd rather see him redeem himself by having good feuds and matches then by manipulating the backstage to get the belt AGAIN. Cause when he had the belt, how many of us watched the WCW Main Event??? Exactly. None of Us. In fact, that crap got turned off right about then. Taped the midcards and that's about it. But look at guys like the APA or Goldust. They've been around as long as Nash & Hall have been and they're still doing business right. I hope he has the respect to do the same. ------------------------ Shane's take Kevin Nash...he has been a mixed bag for me for years. while I’ve never been a fan of his ability in the ring (or lack of), I have however, been a fan of his promos and ability to captivate. during his wcw tenure, Nash was expected to go out and cut impromptu promos to an audience and keep them watching, and for a period of time, he did it quite well! Nash has the ability to become a key player again, but i hope he does it the right way, and not his typical, "kiss ass and get political pull" way. he will never be s great wrestler, but he can still headline an entertaining match if needed. Nash’s future relies more on his attitude than skills, and only time will tell the rest of his story. -------------------------- Neo's take We all know his ringwork is shit. You'd have to be blind not to see that, really. His promos are nothing special, more like just average. I've read about his backstage influence so many times it's like fact now. You know, about his ego and being a booker, holding talent down.. etc. Why do so many people like this guy? He's got a presence. That's it. He's a big man with a presence. Fans respond to that. -------------------------- Stan's take Big! -------------------------- Johnny's take I for one will never forget him talking to the cardboard cutout of Hall. That's comedy Steph, not reprising the West Hollywood Blondes with the green WCW boy and the fading star Gunn. Nash's matches suck, but he's no worse than Marktaker or Kane. I'll watch his vignettes but his matches will seem much longer than they actually are. --------------------------- Final take It looks like my cohorts (with the exception of Zak and Neo [who wins most Jaded in this category]) hate his ringwork but like his promos. Like Shane mentioned, the MMPS reaction to Nash is a mixed bag. ____________________________ Topic Two: Scott Hall ---------------------------- Cliff's take Hall: He's a great wrestler when he's motivated, and is a great character. Yes, he has a problem with alcohol, but as long as he's sober, he can be a very valuable asset if handled correctly. If the rumors of his backstage antics are true, then the WWF locker room not only needs a sense of humor, but Hall needs to learn to only joke like that with the other members of The Clique. ---------------------------- Zak's take Hall. Say hello to da Bad Guy! I would be lying if I didn't mark out the first time I saw him back. Razor's Edge on the Rock! Yeah, that worked for me. It still remains one of wrestling's coolest finishers. Majorly because Hall has the height to pull it off *cough Mike Awesome cough cough* What do I think about the guy? Well, hopefully he's back on track, and taking his "vitamins" that will kill him if he drinks. Wow, beer or death...this sounds like a decision that only Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Corolla could make. Ah, Anyhoo...If Scott Hall is truly clean and nice, well, he's the one I'd like to see the most of. Notice he's the only one doing matches *cough Hogan, Nash, cough* ----------------------------- Shane's take Scott hall is a misunderstood character. he has suffered through marital problems, drug and alcohol addiction, and a lack of a job (keeping one that is), and he has persevered. he is a hard worker when he wants to be, and the overall best wrestler of the new/old nWo. he is the only one i was actually thrilled about seeing again. i totally disagree with the angle between he and Austin that involved Austin flaunting alcohol in hall's face. to me, that is just another instance of the wwf showing that they own u after u sign a contract. the man is trying to straighten out his life, and they shove the problem in his face, and degrade him on national television?!?! obviously his old wcw political pull has no effect on him now. though that is good, in some cases, like that angle, that is bad. i hope that hall has a good run, because my guess is that after the nWo story becomes stale again, hall(unfortunately), Nash , and Hogan, will be out the door and forgotten. ---------------------------- Neo's take Hall? A decent worker with a bad attitude. Not a whole lot to say about the least popular member of the NWO. I refuse to crack on him because of his alcohol problems. If you read his WWF.com interview, it really sounds like he's trying to get over alcoholism. I'll reserve further judgment on him until at least after Wrestlemania. ----------------------------- Stan's take Nice hair ----------------------------- Johnny's take This is the ONLY nWo member who can flat out wrestle. Seeing the Razor's Edge at the August Nitro in Tulsa remains the greatest legal fun I've ever had. No matter how slanted my views on life, I'll always be ready for another survey. ----------------------------- Final take Don't pass out, but it looks like an all around thumbs up for Scott Hall's ringwork. We understand he has a problem, and like Nash we seem to be concerned about backstage problems. Let's wait and see. _____________________________ Topic Three: Hulk Hogan ---------------------------- Cliff's take Hogan: The ICON. He and Vince McMahon created sports entertainment. Is he a good wrestler? No. But is he charismatic and a legend? Yes. Do I feel he can contribute? Hell yes. Do I personally enjoy "Hollywood" being back on TV? Oh yeah. I was never a Hulkamaniac, but the "Hollywood" character makes me like Terry. The "Hollywood" gimmick turned me into a slight Hulkamaniac, so when the red & yellow returned, I almost changed the channel for good (until Russo took over, actually). Will Hogan/Rock be memorable for its technical precision? No. But it will be memorable for the emotions it draws from the marks/casuals, and the "I HATE HOGAN AND ROCK" posts all over the Internet from typical bitter smarks. ---------------------------- Zak's take I think I read something about him jumping off a boat and landing on his knee. Yep, that about sums it up...Hulkamania took a big swan dive off a boat, misjudged its popularity and hit itself on the knee. Then it got pissed and turned into Hollywood...which I like. "That's cool, dude." Btw, anyone seen Allen Funk do his Funkamania?? Classic...The Hollywood character will be working well in the WWF I think. If he and the Rock at WM18 is only the beginning, then cool. Too bad they have to wrestle, er ah I mean Brawl. That's it. ---------------------------- Shane's take my thoughts on Hogan....he is the most talent less success in the business's history. Hogan cuts shitty promos that sound fake and rehearsed. Hogan has three moves to his arsenal which are punch, kick, leg drop. Hogan is a greedy, power hungry, jackass. yet everyone still loves him? it is beyond me. i really can't comment on a phenomenon i have no understanding for. it's like trying to grasp spontaneous human combustion. ---------------------------- Stan's take From this day forth shall remind me of GTA3... A leg drop? A leg drop? What the hell kind of finisher is that? ----------------------------- Johnny's take Can't wrestle. Can't wrestle. Can't WRESTLE. But you know what? He's always got heat. He's like an eternal flame. E GADS can this guy get a reaction. I was a Hulkamaniac, I won't deny it. I grew out of it long before he left the WWF though. Can he cut a promo? Yes. If you gotta start every show with 20 minutes of talking then I am not ashamed to say that I'm willing to deal with Hogan over Steph. Wanna give him another ten minutes in hour two? Better than the Hardyz. I said we were jaded and this is a perfect example people. It's the lesser of two evils and I for one don't even have to think twice about making that choice. ---------------------------- Final take: # of angry or aggressive sumbitches in on this section:5 open ex or current fans of Hulkamania:2 complete Hogan haters:2 (and that's a nice fucking score out of FIVE smarks) ___________________________ Topic Four: Did the nWo kill WCW? ---------------------------- Cliff's take The nWo did not kill WCW. It gave WCW more life than it took. Bad management and a poor creative team killed WCW. I'm one of the few people that believe Sin, Super Brawl: Revenge, and Greed were the best WCW PPVs of the past 3 years. WCW finally managed to give wrestlers that deserved time TIME, and made Totally Buffed (Luger and Bagwell, for those that didn't watch) into a pair of comedic ally entertaining heel jobbers. Did they suck? Hell yes, but I laughed at them, especially when they were squashed by O'Haire and Palumbo at Greed. ---------------------------- Zak's take No. Eric Bischoff did. Bischoff's lack of direction and fat checkbook killed WCW. The nWo was AMAZING when it first started...its just too bad that we never saw the WCW actually RISE against the nWo because Bischoff hated Flair (the nWo's only REAL opposition). This resulted in the formation of Greenberg, Sting brooding for 9 years in the rafters, and something called DDP. Oh and lets not forget the REAL WCW killer: Vince McMahon and his WWF lockeroom treating the WCW as nothing but a bush league. So there, nWo only just MADE the WCW. --------------------------- Neo's take Did the NWO kill WCW? They helped. Nash and Hogan to be specific. Listen, they held down younger talent and approved of the outlandish antics going on backstage. They ENCOURAGED the place to be a big damn circus. WCW had no leader! Everything was in total chaos! Talent flipped the bookers the bird and ran rampant in part to Nash and Hogan's influence. If the wrestlers will not do what they're supposed to, then the overall product ends up looking like crap. WCW fell because no one could control the talent's MASSIVE egos -------------------------- Stan's take Nah --------------------------- Johnny's take Time Warner did. Look up E.C. Ostermeyer on 411wrestling.com for details. But I'll say Goldberg cause no one in this column disses that shitbag. And I've been consistently wearing my nWo shirts since WCW, no dusting off for me. Damn poser kids. --------------------------- Final take No. It seems we think nWo did nothing but HELP business, And who did depends on which smark you ask. Smark says: Bischoff. Wall street (not to be confused with Michael AKA IRS) says: Business. _______________________________ Topic Five: I think I saw Hitler in one of those WWF nWo promos! ---------------------------- Cliff's take If it's true, all the more power to them. Do I think it's offensive? Somewhat, but that's what needs to be done to get the nWo over as a group of killers: make them seem more evil than anything else. ---------------------------- Zak's take never saw the Hitler clips...and if I did I probably don't remember it. I was really paying attention to Raven kicking DDP's ass through the Uncensored display. ---------------------------- Shane's take i saw that. how fucked up was that? lol. oh well...anything for ratings has been pro wrestling's thing the past 8-10 years though hasn't it? ---------------------------- Neo's take Hitler clip? What? The? Fuck??? Haven't seen it. --------------------------- Stan's take Hitler Bad! Simple as that. Can't believe Vince allowed that. Next thing we know the nWo will have Bin Laden on one of their promos. --------------------------- Johnny's take No I really did! --------------------------- Final take Say what you want about Debra on WWF Programming, I can't recall her causing six million deaths. _______________________________ | ||
