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"It is easy to go down into Hell; night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide; but to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air - there's the rub, the task."
I SOLD DRUGS TO YOUR CHILDRENVirgil


Hey, I'm back. A couple months ago I was sick as sin of the WWF, but kept hope alive because of new possibilities, new faces. Could these new faces save the WWF? Well we'll tell you.Who are we?

{The Franchise 2.5} Cliff Young:Our former NWA:TNA recapper.
Zak Blak:AKA Panda Mask, our Raw recapper.
Skittles Slayer:Used to recap Smackdown, usually the Wednesday after. Now recaps Velocity.
Maurizio:Our one time columnist... we'd like another!
Shane X:Our ex-PPV recapper.


Together we are a ragtag collection of super powered opinions and odd senses of humor. We are...
Don't think these are just an exercise in agreeing, that we just all wanna bitch about the same things because we (again) ended with some surprising answers to my questions. READY? IT'S SMARKIN TIME!

Let's start out off with my personal definition of what we are often called.
smark: noun, the halfway point between
A. smart (one who believes they alone are right)
and
B. mark (1.one who buys everything Vince sells literally and figuratively; 2.a loyalist to a something. Examples: Lodi mark, hardcore match mark, powerbomb mark) In other words, jaded but not too bitter to stick with it.

08/18/02
Today class, Young blood. I've listed a few of the young blood and we're gonna see what the Smarks thought of them back in the month of June. Hindsight is 20/20, let's see what they saw back then, when I asked them "give me your thoughts on the following so called "up and coming" superstars and tell me A)What you think of them and B)if you see them going anywhere."

Randy Orton
Cliff's Take
A) He's very green, but he definitely has a lot of potential. He's already somewhat over with the fans, and that's a good sign. Keep him, but take him off of TV for a month or so where he does nothing but train with Al Snow, Holly, and maybe some other members of the roster. B) I could see him becoming IC champion one day, maybe headlining a SummerSlam or something and possibly winning the King Of The Ring...but nothing else.
Zak's Take
A) He's got good potential, but he's gonna be living off his dad's legacy as far as people see him for a long time coming. But I think if SOME (just cause he's not a high flyer doesn't mean he's not a good wrestler) people will give him a chance, then he'll prove himself over time. B) Yeah, he'll go far...if not cause McMahon is his buddy b/c his dad, its because he has a half decent look. He just needs some mic skills.
Skitty's Take
Fairly good newcomer. I like his style. A few more years and he'll be great.
Maurizio's Take
green and with the face of baby... in a world of pissed off stiffs.
Shane's Take
i think that he only has a contract because of his father. he looks to have the skills of a tough enogh graduate (which is piss poor) and has the charisma of a piece of dirt. all that is going for the kid is that he looks like a pretty boy jock asshole and that is shitty as well in my eyes. he has the potential to be good someday i'm sure, but i feel that he was put on t.v. way ahead of when he should be. he is sloppy and non deserving of the push he has been getting. (he took it to the taker 100 times more than dreamer?!?!?! fuck that) he will only get somewhere because of his name. (and he WILL get somewhere quick) just like a certain moviestar who held so many belts so quickly with so little skill...but at least the rock is a god of the microphone, whereas orton is worthless alltogether. it's sad how some of the guys on your list will never make it as far as this waste of flesh, but they are 300 times the wrestler he is. NO he should not! but mcmahon hates talent. that has been established many times.

Edge
Cliff's Take
A) He's overrated, but he does have kick-ass moves. He needs to develop a character that is more than just Edge "Theodore" Logan (if you didn't get that joke, you suck). Capable of being carried by superior workers, but an average wrestler at best. Great look, though. B) He will win the Undisputed Title one of these days, when HHH and Undertaker and Steve Austin are all gone. I'd love to see Kurt Angle vs. Edge (a more mature, older, more experienced Edge) headline a WrestleMania.
Zak's Take
A) I really dig Edge. I've always liked him. He has good charisma and he's a great worker. His matches with Kurt Angle have really shown that off. Not to mention his time with Christian as a tag team really enriched his character. 7 times in one year. One of the best records of all tag teams. "Reeking of Awesomeness" and the Conquistadors angle really got him over well. B) Yes definitely. The WWE is apparently very high on him and so are the fans. Edge is a given for main event status in the coming years.
Skitty's Take
He's already up there. I don't mind him but I'm not a huge fan. There's other people (JERICHO, STORM) who deserve that kind of push though.
Maurizio's Take
getting his hat together
Shane's Take
incredible. though i think christian may have been the slightly better wrestler of the two, edge is a amazing in the ring and has the girls hearts ta boot! he is a great wrestler, with great mic skills, a great look, and a great future! he will get pushed soon enough. it is starting already. jr wants him pushed, and from what i understand...so does hogan! he deserves it! take the ball and run buddy!!!

Hurricane Helms
Cliff's Take
A) My favorite cruiserweight for the past year and a half. His gimmick is constantly entertaining, and it just SHOWS that he's having fun being THE HURRICANE. I did prefer the boyband singer "Sugar" Shane Helms, and thought that 3Count was one of Russo's best ideas ever, and Helms definitely played his part to perfection, which he does with The Hurricane. B) Unfortunately, he won't make it past the European Title, but he has definitely caught everybody's attention. If his feud with Jamie Knoble is given more than 2 weeks and a PPV opener, it will produce some seriously great matches.
Zak's Take
A) How can I be a fanboy and NOT like Hurricane?? Its just too bad the WWE SLOOOOOWED him down way more than they needed to. All to make it look like guys can Test (more on that later) and Triple H not look like the slow mongoloids they are. B) As long as JR likes recruiting HOSSES then smaller guys like Hurricane won't get a chance unfortunately.
Skitty's Take
Helms all the way! The guy is the next HBK. I'm glad he's holding the cruiser belt. He gives it credibility. Helms is going to the stars.
Maurizio's Take
gimmick performer
Shane's Take
he is one of the best talents breathing right now. i model some of my own ring work after his wcw style! he is incredible! fast, fluient, graceful, and charismatic! he may never get the push he deserves, but he will blow up in the cruiserweight division! his matches with jamie knoble will entetain to hell and back and when another of my faves, shannon moore gets in. all hell will break loose!!! cruiserweights own! he deserves a push more than most. he left wcw the cruiserweight champ. the WWF/E threw out his gimmick and changed it to gregory helms. then they made him lose on his first match to kidman...bye bye belt. then they did him as the hurricane, which is funny, but was an insult. now he has blown up as the character and it's working out for him! whatever good comes to this kid, he deserves!!!

Test
Cliff's Take
A) I used to say Edge vs. Test would headline a WrestleMania, when Test debuted and showed lots of potential. Now...I'd say he's dead weight. I still love the Big Boot he does, but otherwise...meh. Keep him against Kane and other big men that can move (read: MIKE AWESOME, SEAN O'HAIRE), and maybe he'll produce some entertaining matches. B) I don't see Test on my TV currently, and I'd like it to stay that way.
Zak's Take
A) I hate Test. They killed his heat immensely when Triple H held him down and didn't let him do the logical thing by going after him for revenge back when Trips "stole" Stephanie. If I were Test I'd be mad as hell. B) Unfortuantely I think he'll go up. Triple H is in love with him now, and it looks like Testicle would be in line to take on Trips for the belt if he beats the Undertaker *gong*
Skitty's Take
Ugh. No. Get rid of him.
Maurizio's Take
still sucks
Shane's Take
- the only canadian wrestler that sucks. i can't stand to watch him. he does do a few of his stiff moves well (the boot,roll of the dice, and pump handle) but his matches are mostly punch kick fests. i just can't stand him. he was on his way when he was with stephanie, but HHH ruined his chances. he may get it again, because he is big and boring. mcmahaon loves big and boring. if he gets better maybe i'd say he deserves a push, but at this time...NO WAY!!!

Mark Henry
Cliff's Take
) Piece of shit. B) When his contract runs out, he's gone for good.
Zak's Take
A) Who? B) Black people don't make it in the WWE
Skitty's Take
Even worse than Test. Get rid of him.
Maurizio's Take
still mark henry
Shane's Take
- he is a big sloppy sack of shit. nuff said. he failed at a WWF/E career once and he shall fail again. i would rather watch retarded kids have sex than watch a mark henry match! (unless it was jericho beating him!!!)

Latino Heat
Cliff's Take
A) GUERRERO~!~ EDDY GUERRERO~!~ Easily the best worker in North America today, with Chris Benoit and Steve Austin right behind him. He hits his spots to perfection now, and he managed to make even a "racist" gimmick like Latino Heat (even though it isn't racist, as Eddy has stated on NUMEROUS OCCASIONS that he knows people that act just like "Latino Heat" Eddy Guerrero does) marketable beyond belief. B) I see Eddy having a great feud with Austin, then having some good-great matches with Rob Van Dam. Perhaps he could main-event one day, but I doubt it, mainly due to his size and because he's *TOO* good.
Zak's Take
A) Eddie Gilbert?? Hot Stuff???? Isn't he dead??? Anyhoo...Message to Matt Hardy: Here's a guy who was a cruiserweight but didn't STAY in the division for life. Good luck getting that HW belt you Janetty wanna be. AAAAAnyhoo...Eddy's always shown he's a superior wrestler and entertainer. He's a much better heel than ANYONE in the WWE right now. B) Well if his feud with Austin is any indication, then yes, but I'm cynical today. Austin uses people, see Booker T.
Skitty's Take
AMAZING. Although Benoit is generally acknowledged to be better, I say their fairly equal. Eddie is very, very under-estimated.
Maurizio's Take
great talent, but a little too high for my tastes.
Shane's Take
he is now and always has been nothing shy of remarkable! eddie is a damned great worker but he needs to drop the corny fake accent and latino heat alltogether. just focus on his greatness!!! he may get a push as a hourseman it seems. that would be good, eddie should be a future WWE champ. he should be given whatever he wants. he is great!

Booker T
Cliff's Take
A) Booker is the most versatile worker and most worthy of a push on the current WWE roster next to Rob Van Dam. Look at him now: the fans are eagerly anticipating him leaving the nWo, and his comedic skits with Goldust have been great. I love Booker. And yes, I DID just say that. B) I see him going to the IC title, possibly headling a lesser PPV like No Way Out or Vengeance one day next year. Booker will leave the nWo by SummerSlam, and have a decent feud with the nWo members (only decent because Booker will make the matches watchable, unless HBK has just even half of the ability he possessed in his prime).
Zak's Take
A) I've been a Booker fan for years. Its just too bad he's black and not Samoan and the son of Peter Maivia. Booker has the charisma, he has the ring psychology and he's soooooo over with the fans. There's no reason not to love Booker. He's just a good wrestler and that goes for a lot. B) I'd hope so. KING BOOKER would soooo be awesome. They might put Booker over as champ just so they can be like the academy giving Denzel and Hallie Awards so they can say they're "equal opportunity"
Skitty's Take
Turn face! The crowd would love him. He's a great face and shouldn't have been stuck in a heel role so long. Can you dig that SUCKA?!
Maurizio's Take
funny.
Shane's Take
a lot of people have and will disagree on this with me, but i love booker t. i've always thought he was champion material and i think he has re invented himself again as of late! he is becoming a face whether WWE wants it or not! if they are smart (which is not the case usually) they will push booker t. as a huge baby face quite soon. the fans are eating him and goldust (they are carrying the RAW shows latley) up with a platinum spoon!!! booker t. can be money in the bag and a ratings boost ta boot. time will tell. he has wrestled his ass off for years. this guy paid his dues three or four times what most do. booker t. deserves a push more than almost anyone. (save jericho and storm who totally need to be on top with him) give booker a chance!!!

Lance Storm
Cliff's Take
A) Overrated by the Smark community just because he's Canadian, but he really is a very good worker. He made people actually LIKE Justin Credible (although I've always been a Credible fan, because he isn't/wasn't carried as much as people said he was), and had the 3rd best push in WCW in 2000 next to Booker T's and Jeff Jarrett's. He won match after match, and made the fans ABSO-FUCKING-LUTLEY hate his guts by just being, you know...A GOOD WRESTLER. He didn't cower down, and he just did what a good heel did: beat the hell out of the face, take some minor shortcuts, and be a total prick. Plus, he's from Calgary........Alberta, CANADA. B) IC title will be his highest WWE accolade. I'd like to see him and Jericho form a tag team again, or at least feud once more, before the two of them eventually retire.
Zak's Take
) Lance just rules. He responds to your email, he talks to his fans. Good guy. And one HELL of a wrestler. He gives me the same excitement as Malenko does. I've never seen a bad Storm match. B) As far for going anywhere...Jim Ross and his HOSS squad will stop that.
Skitty's Take
Can so say under-rated? This guy is an amazing wrestler and needs a push. Did you see the heat he got on SD (Calgary) after he insulted Western Canada? Golden
Maurizio's Take
getting shit from anybody
Shane's Take
he is one of my all time faves as well. a virtual wrestling god! there is nothing this man can't do...accept get the recognition he deserves!!! lance is incredible and he has the ability to make anyone llook good as well. he is a 5 star plus wrestler and it is complete bullshit that he is not on top of the game. he even has great mic abilities when he is given opportunity. (see old ECW and WCW footage) i love his style and look up to him in many ways. lance storm owns! he will probably never get the push he deserves and i will hate thw WWE the whole time they don't give him one. he will probably get stuck training tough enough, as it seems that the good wrestlers that all are underarted and underused all get shafted with that duty. (isn't that funny) you all know now that i think he deserves it 110%! give lance a push dammit!!!

Who SHOULD be going somewhere?
Cliff's Take
Brock Lesnar, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Chris Benoit, and (when he returns) RHYNO.
Zak's Take
Lance. Anyone who makes the WCW HC belt the acronym for Shit deserves a push. For pure wrestling, I'd go with him and Eddie.
Skitty's Take
Should? Storm, Helms, and Booker T. Eddie G. is already there. Those three really, really deserve a push. Who will? Probably Test cause McMahon is a moron.
Maurizio's Take
kurt angle
Shane's Take
*CRICKETS*
---------------------------
Fizzarewell from Johnny
Thanks for reading and REMEMBER, you just read the column too HOT for [slash]!



****ANGRY JOHNNY misses Muppets Tonight****