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Post Pay Per View...let's review, shall we? Johnny, Tabie, and I made some predictions going into the six matches that were confirmed for last night's No Mercy, and the predictions were pretty bold. So bold, in fact, that if you read the article, you can even SEE that the predictions are bolder than everything else. Right...and so, on this cold and lonely Monday morning, I take a look back at the predictions and make a few random comments about the show.
First off, props to some superstars. Props to Jericho for recovering so quick from disaster. During a lionsault attempt, the second ring rope just completely snapped. the entire ring rope, all the way around, just fell. So did Jericho. Flat. Just as he pushed all his weight into the rope to bounce back, it gave out and Jericho went nowhere but down. However, Y2J and the rest finished off the match nicely, and Jericho hit a lionsault off the TOP turnbuckle for the pinfall victory. Props also to Undertaker, because as much as I don't like the guy...he wore the crimson mask last night. Taker's face was COMPLETELY covered in blood, and there were times you could see it running off his face. It wasn't streaked, it was covered. Excellent job, and it came across as extremely brutal on TV. Just plain scary. Another props to Taker for the suicide dive through the 2nd and 3rd rope! Not his style at all, very nice though. Props to Terry Taylor, yeah, I seen the back of your head on my screen for approximately 2 1/2 seconds last night! Welcome back, Red Rooster. Props to Triple H for giving me a reason to go to the bathroom during a Pay Per View. You suck. On with the show.
All three of us predicted Trish to retain her title against Victoria, and I duly noted that she'd probably get the hell beat out of her, hit the Stratusfaction, get the pinfall, and get the hell beat out of her again. I was right, except for one small detail. Trish BLEW the Stratusfaction. Well, it seems when she bounced off the top rope, she spun left to turn around. Victoria, however, turned right. Sorry, ladies, it doesn't work that way. Regardless, Trish pins for the victory, and we're 1-0.
Another bandwagon prediction for RVD to defeat WHOOOOO! Ric Flair. Guess what...we were right. RVD turned over the figure four, hit the rolling thunder and the frog splash and retained...nothing but his pride. Our next champ should be RVD. Oh, and this was one of the only matches during the night where you could even HEAR the crowd. It was really that pathetically quiet. Little Rock doesn't deserve another Pay Per View. The only LOUD part the entire night was Angle's "You Suck" entrance. 2-0.
Here's a shocker. We predicted Booker T and Goldust to walk out champs, WELL KNOWING that the Canadians just won the titles a week ago. Oops. Jericho blows a lionsault when the ropes outright collapse, but moments later hits one off the top rope for the victory. We're now 2-1. All of us. But remember, I noted the Edge and Christian connection...
Nope. Benoit and Angle win the BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT, easily. Even with all the blood spilled in the main event. The SmackDown tag match was right after Kane vs HHH, and it looked like someone hit fast forward. It was insane. My brain slowed down to watch Kane vs HHH, because at full speed, it would've lapsed into a coma. Then Rey comes down and starts running around the ring like a midget Ultimate Warrior all doped up waiting on Hogan. It took me half the match to adjust and figure out what was going on. I LOVE that kinda action. Tabie and I made the right prediction in this one, but Johnny was lost in the glare of Edge's teeth and Rey's contacts. We all WANTED to see it, and we almost DID see it, but the masked one did not win. There was 619's, crossfaces, olympic slams, ankle locks, spears, all kinds of good stuff. I'd give the match 5 stars, but this isn't a recap, now, is it? Well...OK, maybe it is. But I'm still not rating all the matches. I don't wanna. 3-1 for the girl and I, 2-2 for the Angry One.
HHH vs Kane. zzzzzzzzzzz. Oh, yeah. Flair interferes, Hurricane comes down and takes one hit and he's out the rest of the match. Chair, sledgehammer, Flair, two refs, typical HHH match. Kane gets the pin while Hebner, of course, is out cold. Another official comes down to make the count, and Flair flat-out punches the ref in the face. So much for being subtle. I know I'm not being a good smark by rooting for Kane, but I really hate that title on HHH's waist, and I think Kane deserves it more at this point. He's over with the marks, and his gimmick ain't half bad. If he moved around just a LITTLE (lot) more, he'd be a decent champ. Anything's better than that bastard Helmsley. Chokeslams all around, but HHH still hits the Pedigree and wakes up Slapnuts Hebner to make the three count. I was wrong this time. Tabie's 4-1, not bad at all...the guys are 3-2. Don't gloat, Tabie, there's still...
THE NEXT BIG THING!!! One hell of a decent match, Taker pisses me off then every time I'm ready to hunt him down and give him a Goldberg kick to the head, he pulls one off. Last time it was the ladder match with Jeff Hardy, this time it was three things. The superjuice, the dive through the ropes, and the clean job to the champ. After the last PPV, that clean loss really redeems Taker. And the title's still around the SAME person! For how long now? THREE MONTHS?? It's a bloody miracle. I'm happy. Johnny's happy. Tabie still thinks Brock's a pussy because he looks like an 8 year old boy on alotta steroids. Poor Tabie. She's just mad because we all three ended up with a tie record. 4-2, 4-2, 4-2. Not TOO terrible. Tabie and I also predicted Torrie and Noble to win their matches when we heard about them, so out of eight matches, we only failed on two. That's about average for me. Decent Pay Per View overall, and almost worth the 35 bucks I spent. Yep, I actually paid for it this time. It's a bloody miracle. That wraps it up. E-mail alanpugh43130@hotmail.com if ya wanna say anything...and HHH, you suck.
*static*
