Anonymous Miscellaneous Quotes

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."

"A friend is someone who believes in you even when you've ceased to believe in yourself."

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

"Psychiatrists say that one out of every four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're ok, you're it."

"Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you're obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you what button to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what button you press. No one will answer."

"The worst thing about a football game is that none of the cheerleaders ever get injured."

"Those who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do."

"Friends come and go, enemies accumulate."

"If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything"

"To laugh to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk appearing sentimental. To reach for another is to risk involvement. To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self. To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is risk dying. To hope is to risk despair. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave, they have forfeited their freedom. Only person who risks is free."

"Life isn't fair, but life isn't fair for everyone. That makes life fair."

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"

"He who laughs last, thinks slowest."

"It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get me."

"I talk to myself cause no one else will listen"

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

"Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars in the galaxy and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it."

"If a man speaks in a forest and there is no woman around to hear it, is he still wrong?"

"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?"

"Do you believe the Washington Monument looks anything like George Washington?"

"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"


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