Murdock's back was pressed flat against the plywood wall and Face - shirtless - was pressed against him with his hand inside the front of Murdock's pants. Lip-locked and eyes shut, they were too involved to even notice that the door had just opened.
Cruiser grabbed the door handle, leaning more of his weight on it than usual to keep upright. Speechless, stunned, he stood there for a long moment, stock still. It took several long seconds for his mind to put the scene together and make sense of it. "What the fuck!"
Face pulled away and spun so fast he nearly fell over in the process. Stumbling to find his footing, he stared in wide-eyed horror as Cruiser slammed the door shut and struggled to find his balance again. "You so hard up you blow me off to fuck a flyboy?"
Face shut his eyes, covering them with one hand. "Oh, Jesus," he muttered under his breath.
"Oh Jesus my ass, you fucking faggot," Cruiser slurred. There was no denying what he was seeing now. Though quickly recovering from the shock, they were both still trying to catch their breath. Cruiser took a couple heavy steps forward, the can of beer in his hand sloshing over as he went.
"No," Face protested. "It's not like that."
Cruiser almost laughed. How stupid did they think he was? He wasn't that drunk.
"It was my fault," Murdock said quietly, pushing off the wall and stepping up beside Face.
Cruiser noticed the way Face turned and glared at him. Whoever was at fault, it mattered very little to Cruiser's alcohol-saturated mind. He focused on Face. He was a better target. "So I guess flyboy here is just a really fucking ugly chick, huh?" he sneered. "Got you drunk, finally came clean to you." He inched closer, his voice rising an octave to a falsetto. "'Face, I find you so fucking attractive, and I know you'll fuck anything with a pussy. Guess what, you're in luck, cause I just happen to be packing vag and it's all yours if you say the word.'"
Murdock's jaw tightened. Face stepped forward, placing himself directly between Murdock and Cruiser. "You're drunk, Cruiser. And you have no idea what you're talking about."
"I'm sure you were just helping him crack his back right?" Cruiser sneered at him. "Nice try. But I ain't that drunk."
"Look, just back the fuck off," Face warned, his voice dark and too calm.
Cruiser straightened at the tone. How dare Face put him on the defensive! "What, gonna protect flyboy's honor?"
Murdock put a hand on Face's shoulder, pushing him aside. Face resisted, and Murdock simply walked around. "I don't need his help," Murdock said flatly. "You got somethin' to say to me, you can say it to my face."
Face stood down, watching the two of them as Cruiser looked the pilot over. "You suddenly grow a pair or you just doing some more masquerading?"
Murdock's eyes grew dark. Dangerous. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think it means?"
Murdock growled. "I'm hoping it means you wanna take this outside."
Face stepped closer, put a hand on Murdock's shoulder to pull him back a little, stepping between the two of them. "Not with an injured arm." He glared at Cruiser, reneging the challenge before Cruiser could step up to it.
"Fuck you," Cruiser spat at Face. "Oh wait, that's flyboy's job. My mistake."
Murdock lunged forward and Face stepped fully between them. Cruiser threw down the beer can, ready for it, but Face pushed Murdock back, out of range. He whispered something - Cruiser couldn't hear what - and Murdock slowly untensed. But his eyes remained firmly fixed on Cruiser with a look of burning anger.
Cruiser sneered at him. It was sickening the way Face kept him back. "Down girl," he mocked.
Murdock's eyes blazed. "Fuck you!"
Face whispered again. Murdock's hands were balled into fists and shaking at his sides, but he didn't press against Face, made no effort to go after Cruiser again as Face took a slight step back.
"Oh, nice, Lieutenant. You know how to keep your bitch in check." Cruiser smirked at Murdock. The pilot wasn't a threat, no matter how much he wanted to think otherwise. "That'll be good practice in the stockade with all the other queers."
Face turned slowly toward him, head lowered. His eyes sparked, then caught fire. The look screamed bloodlust, though Face's steady hands were still calmly at his sides. "Are you sure you wanna fuck with me Cruiser?"
Face knew damn well that Cruiser didn't consider Murdock a threat - whether or not he should. But the two of them were evenly matched - ounce for ounce of spilled blood. And as the adrenaline stepped up, fight or flight instincts kicking in, Face locked his eyes hard on his opponent. It was a fine line to walk. He couldn't beat the shit out of Cruiser, no matter how much he might deserve it. With a broken arm and after a night of drinking, Cruiser wouldn't last five seconds. No way he'd explain that to Hannibal.
But even so, he'd be damned if he would run away.
"Fuck with you?" Cruiser laughed. "You'd better talk to flyboy about how he feels with me stepping in on his territory." He looked up at Murdock again and smiled wickedly. "Wouldn't want to make him cry..."
Face was just as aware of the tension from Murdock behind him whose tear-stained face was a dead giveaway - as the threat of Cruiser in front of him. But Murdock didn't move.
"Or is that how you control them, Lieutenant?" Cruiser challenged. "Hurt their warm fuzzies and when they finally break down sobbing, you swoop in for the kill? Or should I say lay?"
"Wanna find out?" Face threatened, his voice low and dangerous. "Bet I could make you shed a few tears by the time we're through."
Cruiser stepped up. "Do it. See how well that goes."
Face didn't flinch. "You've got a hurt arm, Cruiser. You really think it's a good idea?"
"Oh, yeah, you're the picture of sound decision making. Fuck a flyboy, but be careful of the guy with the hurt arm."
"It's not for my sake that I'm being careful."
Cruiser growled audibly. "Don't use me as an excuse, Lieutenant."
"An excuse?" Face raised a brow. "You're so fucking drunk, you don't even have the sense to know when to back down." Face didn't use a fist. He just shoved him, hard enough to send him sprawling.
Face's point was made. Cruiser's back hit the floor and it took him several attempts before he could even sit up, let alone stand. "Fuck you," he slurred as he tried to get to his feet, and fell back down again. This time, he started laughing.
Face remained stock still, hands at his sides, ice cold eyes locked hard on the drunken, stumbling man who couldn't seem to get himself up off the floor. Cruiser stopped laughing as he noted Face's glare. But he didn't speak. Face watched him for a long moment, then stepped back and turned away. With a quick glance at Murdock, he nodded in the direction of the door. It was still pouring rain outside, and Face's boots still weren't dry from the last time, but they couldn't very well stay in here. Besides, Cruiser would probably pass out in a few short minutes. They wouldn't have to be gone long. Just long enough to get drenched by the monsoon rains. Face sighed internally.
"Hey." Cruiser was struggling to sit up again. As Face glanced back at him, he saw a fake smile. "At least give me a hand up."
Face eyed him warily. Before he had a chance to decide whether or not to trust the smile, Murdock had offered a hand down to him. Cruiser hesitated at the outreached hand, and Face immediately knew he'd been right not to trust it. Cruiser had been baiting him; he didn't want Murdock's help. But after a long pause, he finally reached for it. Face watched, and waited to see if he'd try anything.
He did. As soon as he found his balance, shoulder to shoulder with Murdock and facing opposite directions, he planted his right foot behind Murdock's leg, reached across his chest, and he put all of his weight into forcing the pilot over backwards. Tripped and startled by the speed, Murdock's back hit the cement squarely.
Face stepped up just as Cruiser spun to his left and swung. Face had plenty of time to duck, to avoid the blow. But he didn't have a chance to decide whether or not to strike back. Murdock hadn't even made it to his feet before he was lunging at Cruiser. He caught him, turned him, and pinned him to the plywood wall before either of them could react.
Cruiser struggled, wrapping his one good hand around the back of Murdock's head and pulling to the right. But with one arm, Cruiser was less dangerous. He was also drunk and not thinking. Face wasn't sure which of the two of them he was more concerned about. It didn't really matter. Without hesitating, he pushed his way between them as Murdock stumbled from the knee to his side.
Face shoved Murdock back hard, getting him out of the way, then turned to Cruiser. Instantly, he had one hand to his throat and the other pulled back. "Cruiser!" His yell echoed off the empty walls. "I will put you through this fucking wall if you so much as look at me funny right now!"
The ice cold look in Face's eyes was not that of a man going off the deep end. He knew exactly what he was saying, and it was not an empty threat. Cruiser grabbed his wrists, but the gesture did him no good. "Do it." Cruiser laughed, almost manic. "The day I got my ass kicked by a lying fag."
Face straightened, put his shoulders back, and every muscle tensed. But the blow landed a half inch to the side of Cruiser's head, cracking loudly against the plywood. Face's eyes remained locked on Cruiser's. Cruiser sobered instantly. The laughing stopped. Clearly, he had not missed. And clearly, Cruiser's reflexes were not such that he would have escaped the blow if it had been aimed at his face.
"Let. Me. Go." Though it was clearly meant to be a threat, Cruiser knew full well that if Face let him go, it was only because he chose to do as much.
At that moment, Face's eyes were those of a man who could kill in cold blood and never feel remorse. He loosened his grip on Cruiser's throat, and lowered his other hand away from the wall, leaving blood where he'd split his knuckles on impact. "You come see me again when you sober up," he said, ice cold.
He turned a little, shoved Cruiser to the side, and took a step back. He hadn't been intending to throw him in the direction of Murdock, but that was exactly where he ended up. Before he had a chance to really regain his footing, Murdock laid one well aimed blow on his jaw with sufficient force to send him back against the wall. Murdock didn't follow through on it.
Cruiser gave a muted laugh as he stared at Murdock. His balance was off, and the alcohol made it impossible to defend himself. He knew it. He hated it. As he wiped the blood from his mouth, he smirked at Murdock. "Beat up by a fucking fairy."
Cruiser pushed himself off the wall and took a step towards Murdock again. But before they could connect, Face had grabbed Murdock's arm and was jerking him in the direction of the door. "Let's go."
Murdock didn't argue. They grabbed their boots on the way out the door, into the pouring monsoon rain.
The rain had soaked them in seconds, and it made no difference that they were sitting in the mud. Murdock didn't know what to say, what to do. Instinct told him to wait, to let Face initiate the conversation if there was to be any. But after a long, uneasy silence, it was clear that he had no intention of speaking.
Murdock shifted uneasily. "You um you wanna "
"No." The invitation for a drink was turned down before it was even made.
Murdock nodded and shifted again, burying his hands deep in his pockets as he stood. He waited for Face's suggestion, but none came. After another long moment, another lingering and uncomfortable silence, he tried again. "I'll buy."
Face sighed and stood. "No. Murdock. I " He shook his head, never finishing. With his head turned away, Murdock couldn't read his expression or even guess what he was thinking. Of course, at the moment, Murdock wasn't sure what he was thinking, either. There was confusion in his head; he couldn't sort it out. It was easier to try and focus on something else. Like Face.
"Face?"
He turned, and met Murdock's stare. His expression was pained and confused, anger still lingering beneath the surface. "Look, I just need a few minutes, okay?" He nearly choked on the words. "Please. I can't talk right now. Back off."
Murdock swallowed hard and nodded. The pleading tone made it feel far less like a rejection something he'd become rather accustomed to hearing from Face and more like a cry for help. But he didn't know how to help except to do as Face asked.
"I uh heard they got my chopper running again, so I'm gon' go and " Murdock gestured over his shoulder.
Face nodded, and made an unconvincing attempt at a smile. The effort made Murdock even more uneasy. When Face couldn't manage a smile, something was very wrong.
Murdock turned, and was several paces away before he let out the breath he was holding. At twenty yards or so, he heard Cruiser's voice again and turned to look over his shoulder. But he kept moving. He wasn't the one Cruiser was yelling at; it was Face. A few more slurs and insults followed Face's retreating form, but Face neither turned nor called back. He just raised one finger over his shoulder and kept walking. Murdock ducked behind one of the buildings before Cruiser had a chance to look around for him.
The LZ where all of the choppers were parked was not far from the team room. It was eerily quiet, two dozen silent birds ready for war and no one around to fly them. The closest living soul was the guard in a tower a good hundred yards away. He was far more interested in what was going on outside the wire than inside. Murdock regarded him briefly, but couldn't see much in the dark. It didn't matter, really. He was far enough away that Murdock still felt confident in the fact that he was alone. And for some strange reason, he really wanted to be alone right now.
He found his bird without difficulty. An involuntary smile crossed his lips as he caressed the bullet-ridden metal patched one too many times to look undamaged. "Hi, baby," he whispered, fingertips gently kissing every one of her scars. "Did you miss me?"
Even with the engine wound down, he could swear he heard her purr. His smile widened as he circled, inspecting the cosmetic work before opening the engine compartment and checking the repairs to the fuel line. Everything was sealed tight. "Looks like they did a good job, baby." He shut the compartment again and pressed his palm to the warm metal, a firm but gentle caress. "You gon' be ready to sing for me tomorrow? 'Cause I got plans for you, babe."
He could've done the whole inspection in less than ten minutes. It took him an hour. He was in no hurry. Finally, he crawled into the cargo bay and lit a cigarette as he rested his head back on the inside wall and relaxed.
Somewhere nearby, one of their camps was getting shelled. Murdock could hear the echo of the explosions as he dragged deeply on his cigarette and held the smoke in his lungs for a long, satisfying moment. His mind wandered. He'd expected it to, but he didn't like it. There was too much to think about. Too many things he didn't want to think about.
What the hell had happened back there?
The memory, while still fresh, was confused. He wasn't sure who was at fault or, really, what had even happened. Replaying it back in his mind only filled him with embarrassment and confusion. He'd wept openly in front of Face. And looking back on it, maybe he really had gone overboard with the dramatics. He certainly hadn't meant to. At the time, it had been no more than what he genuinely felt. Pushed around and pushed away one too many times, there was something inside of him that just needed to know if anyone really gave a shit anymore.
He'd needed to feel connected worth something. How the lines had gotten crossed and ended with him and Face lip-locked, he never would know. Just the thought made his face burn. God damn. At least if he'd been drunk, he would've had an excuse.
Not much of one, he thought bitterly.
Murdock had never wondered about new-age concepts like "sexual identity" and "free love". They had simply never entered his mind. He still didn't know what had happened back there, but he knew it sure as hell didn't have anything to do with love and attraction. Not in that way. Not sex. He'd panicked when he felt Face's hand rubbing him another reaction he couldn't explain but at least one he could live with. His only thought had been to frantically question what the hell he'd gotten himself into. He hadn't been expecting it, although he still couldn't figure out why. It hadn't been the first time, after all
Face had vehemently denied being gay. Murdock believed him. He'd blamed the alcohol for his actions the last time. Murdock believed that, too. But it didn't explain what had happened this time around. It didn't explain Face's hand, or his words, and it sure as hell didn't explain why Murdock had turned and kissed him when he would've backed away.
That was different. That was just a kiss. A lot of cultures kiss in greeting.
"Not with their mouths open, flyboy."
Shit, how had it gotten so far out of control?
"Hey, pilot."
Murdock came back from his thoughts suddenly and realized he had absolutely no idea how long he'd been lost in them. He blinked and stared for a moment at the dark shadow of a man standing just outside the open side of the chopper, peering inside.
"Huh?"
"This your bird?" the man asked.
The question caught Murdock off guard. He answered instinctively, honestly. "Yeah, she's mine."
"Heh." The shadowed figure, unidentifiable in the dim light, ran a hand along the edge of the doorway. "She's pretty. Parker's baby brother is moving up in the world."
Murdock's eyes narrowed at the mention of his brother. He desperately wished he could see the face of the man who obviously knew him. "Fresco?" he guessed.
"Heh. Nice try. Fresco's been dead about three months."
Murdock pasted a smile on his face, though he was pretty sure it was hidden by the darkness. "Help me out here. It's too dark to see you."
The man chuckled. "Well. How convenient for me."
Murdock blinked, startled and confused by the statement.
"A little bird told us you were on base." He suddenly realized that the intruder or guest; he hadn't quite decided yet was not alone. As he stared into the shadows, he saw them move. Three, four, five guys out there. "Thought we'd come say hello."
"Did you prefer to say it in the dark?" Murdock asked warily, sitting up straighter. "How about we go get a drink?"
Laughter. Mocking laughter. More than a few of them. Murdock felt his shoulders tense, fight or flight instincts engaging before he was even sure of the threat. How many were there? What did they want? Why were they stepping up to both sides of his chopper, blocking him in?
"We brought the drink with us," the first man snickered.
Murdock swallowed hard, not liking the tone of the soldier's voice as he jumped up into the cargo bay. Instinctively, Murdock pressed back against the wall, fists tightening as he realized he had nowhere to run. He took a deep, slow breath as he pulled his arm back slightly, inconspicuously. "You mind getting out of my chopper?"
It might've been a request. But it was definitely a warning, too. It wasn't heeded. In fact, as soon as he'd finished, more of them climbed up and inside. The threat became more evident, and Murdock's heart beat faster. No way in hell he could take them all. But he had nowhere to go. Trapped.
"Aw, relax, flyboy," the man chuckled, moving in closer. As he came within a few feet, Murdock caught a glimpse of the sadistic look in his eye, and the full smile of glistening white teeth. "You're gonna love this game."
