"You're out of your mind, Murdock."
Murdock laughed, as much at Face's tone as the words. He sounded thoroughly uninterested and unamused. "Oh, come on! It's not like we got anything better to do. 'Til Hannibal's ready to drop again, we're just killin' time."
"Hey, man!" BA's angry tone was a bit more forceful than Face's. "Hannibal told us to wait at the camp. An' that's what we're gonna do. Don't you get us kicked outta here with your crazy pranks."
Murdock rolled his eyes, the smile still firmly in place. "He's not gon' kick us out. C'mon, I know the guy. It'll be funny as hell. Face?"
Face shook his head. "Sorry, Murdock. And I'm not about to be the one to explain this."
"Forget it, man," BA ordered roughly. "You crazy."
Murdock turned to his last hope, who had been noticeably quiet thus far. "Cruiser?"
He stayed quiet for several more seconds, staring thoughtfully at the cigarette between his fingers. Face groaned as he rolled his eyes. "Aw, don't tell me you're actually considering this!"
Cruiser grinned. It was that exact same smile Hannibal wore when he was trying to convince them of the brilliance of some impossible plan. "It would be funny as hell."
Face was unimpressed. "And just where are you planning to get fireworks?"
Murdock beamed. "See, that's why we need you, Faceman. You're an integral part of this whole operation."
"No," Face said firmly. "No, no, no, and absolutely not. There is no way in hell I am –"
"Oh, come on, Face," Murdock interrupted.
"The man said no!" BA practically yelled.
"If we do it right," Cruiser said thoughtfully, "we won't even get caught."
"And if we do, we'll keep your name out of it," Murdock promised.
The sarcastic look Face shot him said more than words. "You think Hannibal's not gonna know where the fireworks came from?" He paused. "Besides, we're three hours from the nearest civilization. Where am I supposed to even get fireworks?"
Murdock's smile was growing. He was winning. Face had started thinking about where to get the fireworks.
"We could make them," Cruiser suggested. "I mean, we wouldn't have all the pretty colors, but how hard it is to send something up in the sky and make it explode?"
Face put a hand over his eyes. "You guys are gonna get me court marshalled, you know that?"
"Um…" Snap, who had been silently observing the whole conversation with a concerned expression on his face, finally spoke up. Murdock turned to glance at him. "I know you all really don't care for my opinion on this but… um… I just want to make it clear that if you guys do go through with this? I had nothing to do with it."
"Same here!" BA added. "You guys are crazy!"
"Understood." Murdock nodded, suppressing a grin for just a moment of seriousness.
"Face…?" Cruiser smirked, eyes locked on the young lieutenant.
Face dropped his hand, and raised his eyes with a sarcastic look in Cruiser's direction. "Fine," he relented. He turned and pointed at Murdock. "But you're going to have to get me to Da Nang. And you're on your own for requisitioning a chopper."
Murdock grinned. "No sweat."
Snap lowered his head, shaking it slowly. "I don't believe this."
"You guys are crazy," BA said firmly. "All of you. Crazy."
Face was good at getting things. But the simple issue of funds made it difficult to acquire the kind of fireworks they had in mind. And there had to be money left over to buy plenty of liquor. They'd settled for a few big, pretty ones – they had to rig a launcher for themselves at the base – and a few strings of firecrackers that wouldn't be particularly pretty, but would make a hell of a lot of noise. There were also bottle rockets. Lots of bottle rockets. Those were cheap, and would be fun to play with.
They had all of the above with them as they peered in through the meshed window at the darkened interior of the hootch. Face smiled as he glanced back at Murdock and Cruiser. "Sleeping soundly."
He took another drink from the bottle and handed it to Murdock – who was a little more sober than the two of them for the fact that he'd needed to fly.
"Perfect," Cruiser whispered with a wicked grin. His tone was one that would make anyone besides present company a bit apprehensive.
"And no sign of Hannibal," Face added. That, perhaps, was a bigger factor than the fact that BA and Snap were asleep.
Cruiser shouldered Face out from the window, getting a look at the sleeping men for himself. He laughed quietly. "This is going to be beautiful."
"It'll be good for them." Murdock smirked. "You know. A lesson in what can happen if let your guard down. We're like their teachers. Doing them a favor, really."
Face chuckled, and knelt, gathering the bags of small fireworks. "We'd better be real quiet. BA sleeps deep but I don't know about Snap. And this is going to take some time to set up."
Cruiser knelt down next to Face and began pulling things from bags also. His fingers were more clumsy than normal. Finally, he set his bottle of booze down and made it a two handed operation.
"Hey, what do you think the chances are that these things are going to catch the room on fire?" Face asked. In spite of the seriousness of the question, he didn't sound terribly concerned. At the sound of his own voice, slurred and laughing, he knew he was drunk.
"Only about fifty-fifty," Murdock answered.
"See," Cruiser said, "now that is mathematically sound."
Murdock chuckled.
Cruiser tossed a glance at Face. "Aren't you the one that's supposed to know about all of that stuff? BTUs, exposure time, flammable upper and lower limit crap?"
"You don't need to know that stuff, man," Murdock said. "You just need to have a misspent youth and drunken friends from Texas."
"Weapons training, Cruiser," Face corrected, ignoring Murdock's smile. "Not demo. That'd be BA and Hannibal."
Cruiser looked at Murdock. "Think we could ask BA?"
"Or Hannibal?" Murdock grinned wildly.
Face filled both hands with small fireworks and rose to his feet, heading for the door. He paused before going inside. "Make sure we get all the weapons before we set this off or somebody's going to get shot."
Murdock and Cruiser were right behind him as he pulled the door open slowly and slipped inside. He set the fireworks on the floor in the center of the floor and tiptoed silently to BA's bunk. He watched the other two out of the corner of his eye as he carefully withdrew the CAR-15 from BA's bunk, then the pistol from under his pillow. There was something sacrilegious about it. But Face was too drunk to care.
Murdock was at the bunk beside him, leaned over his copilot. With care and speed that indicated he'd done this sort of thing before, he'd already removed the weapons and tied a long string of jumping jacks to Snap's right ankle. Cruise was gathering weapons from around the room, piling them near the door.
Face carefully tied the strips of fireworks to BA's ankle, then returned to the center of the room with the rifle over his shoulder and the pistol tucked into his pocket. He knelt down, spread out the piece of wire mesh, and began weaving the fuse in around and through. He barely heard Cruiser's whisper to Murdock. "You should tie them to each other."
Face bit back his laughter. Working fast, he cut the fuse a little long, and began filling the holes with the bottle rockets, tightly enough that they stood up and held the mesh up off the floor a little. It was taking too long, and he gestured for Cruiser's assistance.
He made his way over, grinning all the way, and knelt down. Murdock joined them a few minutes later, and tapped Face's shoulder, gesturing for him to look at the bunks. He was shaking from holding in his laughter. Face looked, and choked on a laugh. The strings of fireworks from BA's foot to Snap's were attached to each other, reinforced with electrical tape. Face smiled and nodded as he whispered a congratulatory, "Nice!" at Murdock.
Cruiser waved for Face's attention as he finished with the last of the bottle rockets, and pointed out the camera on the floor next to his bunk. With a nod, Face rose and tiptoed over, grabbing it and giving one more quick glance around the room. Then he gave a thumbs up and reached for his lighter, waiting for confirmation.
Murdock grabbed his lighter, paused near BA and Snap, and waited for the signal from Face. Cruiser was near the door, with the weapons, ready to go. Face found the fuse on the mesh/fireworks contraption and held up a hand for a countdown. Three... two... one... The fuse caught instantly and Face clinked the lighter closed as he vaulted towards the door. Murdock was right beside him, running hell bent for leather outside.
Murdock and Cruiser headed across the walkway and ducked behind the hootch across from theirs, waiting for the show to start. Face went to the window on the side. He could hear their muffled laughter as he readied the camera.
The eruption of the fireworks was deafening in the silent night. BA and Snap were both instantly upright, scrambling, reaching for weapons that weren't there. They crashed to the floor on top of each other, arms and limbs flailing, and the tie that was holding them together snapped. They scrambled in opposite directions at about the same time that the fireworks in the center of the room ignited, lighting up the room with wheezing and screaming and flashes and sparks.
Face couldn't contain his laughter. It was hard to keep snapping the photos. Finally, he ran for Murdock and Cruiser, laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. Lights were coming on in the surrounding hootches, panicked and half-dressed soldiers stumbling outside, weapons in hand. Murdock was doubled over with laughter and Cruiser was on his knees.
"Oh my God! That was fucking priceless!"
"Tell me you got that on camera!"
"It's a redneck alarm clock!"
"Oh dear God!"
They were all three laughing to the point of tears. BA was the first to come flying out of the hootch. "Murdock! I'm gonna kill you!"
"Oh," Murdock stood, "shit," still laughing, "run!"
"Fuck!" Cruiser laughed, using the side of the hootch to push himself to his feet. They were all three drunk as hell, not coordinated in the least. The escape part of this plan was going to be ugly and there was an off chance it would not be successful.
Face pulled himself up off the ground and broke into a dead run, leaving the bottle of liquor behind. But he was sure to take the camera. He was pretty sure BA caught sight of them, because he was suddenly shouting obscenities Face had never heard him use before. He glanced over his shoulder and saw BA bolting after them. Snap was on his heels.
"Don't lose the camera," Murdock called to Face.
"Shut up, man!" Cruiser snapped. Better if BA didn't know about the photos until it was too late and they were already developed.
Face was a little surprised at how hard it was to laugh and run at the same time. At one o'clock in the morning, the camp had been pretty quiet. Now, with the cracking of fireworks and the response of soldiers to the chaos and the screaming of a very pissed off BA, the camp was wide awake. They were going to have to avoid more than just BA. It wouldn't be good if, in running, they ran smack into the camp commander. Or worse – Hannibal.
Face rounded the corner of one of the hootches, Grabbed Murdock and Cruiser on either side of him, and hit the dirt, scrambling and shoving them past the stilts and underneath the raised hootch. Breathing hard, still trying to control his laughter, face put a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound, pressing back into the dark. They were going to be covered in mud when they got up. But for now, BA and Snap ran right past them. Success!
"Awesome!" he whispered hoarsely, still laughing. "Abso-fucking-lutely awesome!"
"That was way more of a reaction than I thought!" Cruiser mumbled, clearly pleased as he took in the chaos that had broken out in the camp.
"No matter what happens," Murdock laughed, "this was fucking worth it."
Hiding under the hootch, covered in warm mud, they smiled and high-fived as the timer-rigged rockets went off at the edge of the camp and the sky above them exploded into a colorful, celebratory array.
"Somebody care to explain to me whose brilliant idea this little scheme was?"
Five soldiers stood at attention inside their hootch at Kham Duc, three of them hiding smiles and all avoiding eye contact with Hannibal, who was leaning against one of the bunks, arms across, cigar between his teeth. "Face?"
The lieutenant forced the smile down where it belonged and cleared his throat. "Sir?"
"I'm waiting for something here."
He continued to wait. After a long, lingering silence, he finally sighed. "BA, Snap, you two can go. I know you didn't have anything to do with this."
Face didn't think he'd ever seen either of them move so fast. As the door clacked closed behind them, Hannibal's eyes returned to the three remaining. "Okay, children." His patronizing tone was nevertheless unthreatening. In fact, under any other circumstances, it could almost pass for amusement. "I know Face got the fireworks. I know he didn't get them from around here which means that Murdock flew him somewhere – probably to Da Nang. And Cruiser? I don't know yet how you were involved, but there's no question in my mind that you were."
Cruiser choked on a laugh. "I'm… not sure whether I should be offended by that, sir."
"Yeah, and with enough determination," Murdock interjected, "it's not like fireworks are all that hard to find."
Hannibal stared at them. "Okay, fine. However, Face is also the only one out of the three of you who would know how to rig those ones you shot over the camp without getting anybody killed. And the only one with the weapons training to figure out how make a rocket launcher shoot fireworks without blowing yourselves up. And by the way, whose brilliant idea was it to set off firecrackers in the team room with BA and Snap inside?"
"Actually, I can't take credit for that one, Colonel." Face was no longer trying to hide the smile. "Wish I could. It really was quite brilliant."
Hannibal stared at him, amused. Then he looked to Murdock. "I'm not even going to ask where you learned that, but I know it wasn't Cruiser's doing so that leaves you."
"Guilty as charged, Colonel." Murdock was smiling, too.
Hannibal paused for a long moment. "You're lucky that no one saw you," he finally said. "As of right now, they don't know who's responsible for this little bit of mischief but you can bet that if they determine it was you, there's going to be hell to pay."
"That wasn't luck, Colonel," Cruiser grinned. "It was pure skill."
"Well, whatever it was, I'm leaving it to you three to get back on this base commander's good side."
Face turned his head to look at Hannibal, breaking posture slightly. "I thought you said he didn't see us."
"He didn't." A hint of irritation crept into his voice. "But you can be damn sure that he knows his men as well as I know mine. So unless you've got a fall guy in mind – and I hope to God you don't – what he knows and what he can prove may be two entirely different concepts. And his opinion is very personally important to me. At ease."
All three of them relaxed. "You got a history with this guy, Colonel?" Murdock asked, curious.
Hannibal didn't answer. Face answered for him. "Nah, with his sister."
The comment earned him a very direct glare from Hannibal.
Face smiled back. "We talked a little bit when we first got here. He has some very fascinating stories to tell about –"
"Enough, Lieutenant." The glare continued. "In any case, I told you all before you came out here that you were to be on your best behavior. Now, we are not leaving this camp until tomorrow afternoon and in the meantime, I really, truly do expect that you will be on your best behavior." He looked at each of them in turn. "No fireworks. No pranks. And definitely no storytelling with Captain Anderson. Is that clear?"
A chorus of three "yes sirs" answered him, through smiles, and he shook his head with a sigh as they filed out of the ramshackle hut. Nothing was ever unexciting with his team.
