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    Glass Tiger's Clothing
    Faux Pas: A Retrospective

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            I was sitting around one frosty January afternoon,
            watching the Simple Vision video, when I realized how
            awful the clothes of the 1980's were.  I decided to
            tally up the worst article of clothing in each video
            to discover which member of the band wore the
            worst clothes.
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             Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone) - American Edit.
                    Wayne's pants
                    Alan's shades

            Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone) - Canadian Edit.
                  Alan's crop top

            Someday
                    Alan's pink t-shirt
                    Wayne's tank top
                    Michael's sparkly "scarf" in the brief scan scene where he's in a coat
                    Sam's golf pants

            Thin Red Line
                  Alan's shoulderpads
                    Alan's "glaring" white high top sneakers
                    Michael's shiny bandanna thingy
                    Al's high shirt collar (LOVE the boots, though!)

           You're What I Look For
                    Alan's pink shirt
                    Wayne's sort of tuxedo outfit
                    Michael's short pants
 
           I Will Be There
                    Alan's leather jacket with tassles on it

           Diamond Sun
                    Alan's jeans (They look like something my mum would wear!)

           I'm Still Searching
                    Alan's baggy leather pants
                    Alan's shirt with the "Flashdance" neckline
                    Al's jeans (waaaay too tight!)

           Far Away From Here
                    Alan's icky slime green tank top
                    Wayne's brightly coloured shirt
                    Sam's turtlenecky thing

           My Song
                    Michael's Leafs shirt with no arms
                    Al's repugnantly tight jeans...again!
                    Wayne's white sneakers

           (Watching) Worlds Crumble
                    Al's vest (what's the pattern?  Lemons?!)
                    Wayne's ugly pants
                    Alan's ripped jeans

           Animal Heart
                    Al's whole outfit...ICK! (Do I see tassles on those pants?!)
                    Sam's outfit

           Rhythm of Your Love
                    Al's Rambo headband and tight jeans
                    Wayne's leggings
                    All of the women who seem to have forgotten their shirts....

               Tallying this all up, the worst offender was:
         Alan, with 12 bad articles of clothing
         He was followed by Wayne with 7, Al with 6,
         Michael with 4 (I believe that if he had not
         quit the band, his score would have been much
         higher, though).  From my tally, it looks like
         Sam had the least amount of really ugly
         clothes.  Despite this fact, I think that Al
         was always the snappiest dresser....

         If you have something to add to this list,
         please email me with the details.

          

     1999 andromedastraine