You know you're obsessed with The Smashing Pumpkins when...


•...You're watching Disney's 'Cinderella' with the kids you babysit, and you smile to yourself when the pumpkin gets up and begins to dance.

•...Your smile grows when, later in the movie, the pumpkin gets smashed in the middle of the road.

•...You go to the grocery store with your parents and you find yourself singing Pumpkin tunes when you see a jar of mayonaise, cherries, eggs, etc...then, you get this cheezy grin on your face when you see the pumpkin pie filling...

•...You are watching 'The Wizard of Oz' with your grandparents, and you automatically jump into a verse of 'Silverfuck' when Judy Garland begins to sing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow'.

•...The local radio station calls YOU for Smashing Pumpkins info.

•...The majority of your friends don't want to stay the night anymore, because they're afraid that one of the band members might jump out of one of your many posters, and eat them in their sleep.

•...You're known as "The-Smashing-Pumpkins-Girl" (or boy) at your school, for wearing a different SP shirt every day for a whole semester.

•...You carry a pumpkin around school for 2 weeks before and after Hallowe'en.

•...You are reading Romeo and Juliet in engish class, and your teacher asks if you would like to get councelling because you keep repeating the words "love is suicide".

•...You convince your Mansonite friend to buy the album 'Let It Come Down'.

•...You see the icecream truck roll down the street and you have this sudden urge to paint it funky colours, then throw all of the icecream out of it.

•...Your dream car is either a hummer or an ice cream truck.

•...You are listening to a song, and you can recite line for line what is happening in the music video.

•...You have bugged the dj at a school dance to play 'Disarm'.

•...You compile SP's mellow songs on a cassette tape in order to convert your mom.

•...You have pets named Pumpkiny things. (ahem, especially: a fish named Phreak, a cat named D'Arcy, another cat named Lily, and a dog whom you nicknamed Annie-Dog)

•...You get up in the middle of the night to check your Pumpkin drawer to make sure your Tonight, Tonight promo CD is still there, because you dreamt that someone stole it.

•...You HAVE a Pumpkin drawer.

•...You kiss a picture of one of the band members good night EVERY NIGHT, because your friend said she wouldn't give you the picture if you didn't.

•...At Hallowe'en, you carve a Pumpkin to look like Billy.

•...Your Pumpkin-hating friend stopped asking why he was so tired, because he was sick of you telling him where that song was from.

•...You're in Tristessa's Hall of Fame for getting less than 6 questions wrong on the quiz.

•...The first thing your grandparents ask when you visit them is "so, how's Billy?"

•...You stop working in the middle of class to show your teacher a picture of one of the Pumpkins, trying to convince him/her that the band member is sexy.

•...You cut pictures of Kevin Spencer out of your TV Guide because you think he looks kinda like Billy.

•...You're watching TV, and an involuntary-high-pitched-noise escapes your lips every time you hear one of the following words: Billy, D'Arcy, James, Jimmy, Smashing, or Pumpkin.

•...You get a string of pumpkin-shaped lights and put them in your room because: 1. the obvious. 2. the faces on them look so much like Billy!!!

•...You date someone because they look like Billy. He signs notes "Billy", instead of his own name. You give him a birthday card on St. Patrick's day. He begins to dress like Billy. You think it's some kind of amazing sign that his little brother's name is Jesse. After all this, the person still dates you.
(This also goes for Jimmy, James, or D'Arcy.)

•...You try to lose 40 lbs AND get a collagen implant in your lips to look more like Yelena. Then you contemplate shaving your head to look more like Billy.

•...You only buy clothing if you can imagine Billy, D'Arcy, James, Jimmy, or Yelena wearing it.

•...You have a picture of one or all of the band members in your wallet, in place of the people you ACTUALLY KNOW.

•...You actually understood half the things on this list.


If YOU have any strange little things you do to worship those lovely Pumpkins, feel free to email me a description of them! Thanks.

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