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The Home Of:






This is actually the old Schmoe House. It was built back in 1860, by Billy Joe Schmoe. (our founding father) Not too long before he built the City Hall. Now ol' Billy Joe Schmoe always intended this home to be the Mayors Mansion. So appropriately, when I was elected Mayor, I took up residency here. Now about those ridiculous stories of the place being haunted....that's just a silly rumor.




That? Oh it just leads up to the attic. Uhhh...nooo, I dont hear any weid sounds. Better close the door though. Uh...theres an awful draft. ("Whew that was close")

Oh....where are my manners, would you like something to drink? Just a moment, I'll get the butler.....

"Oh Alfred"!



Hey, I know what you're thinking. But he came with the house. HONEST! While we wait, take a look out the window. The view from the top of this mountain is awsome! You can literally see for miles.



Oh....thats were I left those pants. Ah yes, the pirate and the maiden. Sheila was.....oh, uhh hmm..but of course you don't want to hear that boring story.

People have accused me of being a self appointed Mayor. Hogwash! We had a fair and impartial election. We even had a 100% turnout! (All 1 of us) Joe Schmoe isn't old enough to vote. However he did mount a good "write in" campaign. I almost bought it too! Yeah, like he was really going to become the Mayor. Future elections will be held. We hope all our residents will come out and vote.

As far as my platform. Well..... I want to see Schmoeville prosper. Plans are already in the works to attract more new businesses. As you can see, our downtown restoration is moving right along. Education is also a big issue. Schmoeville needs more schools, and more teachers. As Mayor, I hope to increase educational funding ten-fold. A lottery is being created, which will help fund Schmoevilles' academic needs. Hey, ya never know, you could become our towns first Multi-Schmoeinaire! Get your tickets at one of our local Schmoeville Lottery agents, or order on-line at:

www.Mayor.needs.a.new.car.com

Well.....um....we're thinking up a better name for our lottery. That's ....um....just a special code name. Yeah, thats it. Hey, the Feds said we had to call it something!

That just about finishes our tour of the Mayor's house. I hope you enjoyed your stay. Please use the rear entrance when you leave. Oh and dont worry about that big contraption at the exit. It's only a metal detector. Hey this place is full of priceless antiques from the days of Billy Joe Schmoe. You wouldnt want to see anything happen to them. Would you? We can never be too carefull these days. One last thing, dont stare right at the dogs on the way out. They can get a little nervous. I'd hate to see anyone get eaten....uh....I mean bitten.


Click the arrow, and my car will come around and take you back to downtown Schmoeville.



Hmmm....or was that the trap door button. These old houses are just so facinating with all the secret passages and stuff!