of all the ironic twists
at 3:17am,
or a saturday long ago.
or on a cool monday evening,
the elemental abundance.
such a natural, essential existence, 
earth-air-fire-water-
and the most obvious two?-or is the the most probable?
steam and water and dishes,
thoughts and metal-
is this where i find my solace?
or in a diner, so early on a sunday that it's still 
       dark outside?
fire and air are comforting, are they not?
those two elements that are wild, free, intriguing, and uncontainable,
this eager earth and rushing water can easily be trapped-
but does that make it destined?
3:18am.
i should be home now-
truck cab confessions,
office doors slamming shut in my face?
other doors swing wide open.
sitting in a parking lot on the hard pavement lit by harsh fluorescent.
the warm late night (early morning?) air shocks me back to my world.
.........it's pointless, i know.
you don't have to tell me twice.
it's intriguing.
and brutal   backstabbing   unkind   immoral-
and yet intriguing.
but nevertheless futile.
why is it that i can't be chasing after the willing two in front of my?
why can't i smoke those two lit cigarettes-
why do i yearn for the out-of-reach pipes?
midnight on a saturday long gone-albeit thrilling-
it was young and corrupt and immoral 
and immature and wrong.
never meant to follow me-----oh, water...
air will fill and fill these broken violins, 
but none shall ever play for lack of practice time-
that air will fill the deafening silence.
pack the earth into jewels, pouches, but never glorify or embrace-
for fear of simplicity.
oh, but how badly arabica and cocoa brings fire to mind!
should i settle?
or continue nursing a flame that will never be a bonfire?
large matches won't light-they flame up and then the sulfure smothers...
how ironic-this fire/flame analogy..
help light this red glass-sulfur burning wax, drips on my skin
but i pursue this newly liberated fire blindly, 
knowing i'll scortch myself...
chocolate....