--++2.18.00++----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so it's been a while...sincerest apologies.. 1st semester at school was too rough to allow time for creative outlets and venting.. thus here is my return. so i fear it's fading.. frightening aspect, isn't it. i wonder if it's the locks.. or the countryside.. but it's frightening me and i need to stop. i suppose it will go away in time, but then again, there's always that longing and lingering... so there's this warlock. dark, dangerous.. but wrong. not the warlock, but the consideration... intriguing, i'd assume. death of millions, is the self-proclaimed... but then again, had a northern lad- eh? hrm for the meaning of THOSE lyrics go to my quote page... oh yes i've decided i'm going to quit most of the webrings that i lost the html to... it got too difficult to sort out. i sincerely apologize, but she won't go down was gracious enough to send me the code again.. i PROMISE that will be up.... but as my northern lad must know by now promises don't mean..... enough.
--++2.20.00++----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so i am once again searching.. and these muscle pains are killing me.. good time last night, good experiences, though i wonder why i twisted. and keeping discreet...but at least i felt smarter, and stronger, and i possibly believe this is a job opportunity here.. which would be wonderful. can't you picture me, as a caterer? i will eventually get a picture of my uniform up here... i feel like a bulldyke getting married. hehehe.. (i love you guys).. so what am i supposed to do now, though... it was quite odd, the nameless one, the offers, the smiles.. the singing. but perhaps i'm too infatuated with the search. it can't be good for me. or anyone else... on top of that, i am starting this again, and i am the lead in OUAM, and i... i am playing a very indecent game. a very deceptive game.. but it's in its danger that it becomes fun.. don't we all know it!
--++2.22.00++----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ah, where to start. this weekend went too long, and too many good things went wrong. my group: i love you all, despite how much you may hate each other. please, i plead of you to look beyond that. some of your anger is righteous, some of it unfounded, but NO anger is a good excuse for frightening people that aren't even involved. let's take this as a good lesson.. as we fight, we deteriorate our relationships with each other, and sometimes we receive a tearful apology, and it turns out not to be what we wanted. we always say "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.." and that entails the means in which it is achieved. that aside, i have decided to run off and join a band of gypsies. the renaissance festival has completely enchanted me.. in more ways than one.
--++2.26.00++----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
and i'm working tonight.. i'm a bit uptight about it, as it's a plate dinner and i'm not used to that.. i can stand behind a buffet alright but other than that, y'know, it's frightening.. much like this 18 hour bug i've encountered.. not much fun at all.. especially since the heartburn it leaves me with isn't the happiest of feelings. so today i leave and clean my car, go as far west as i can, and then work until the wee small hours of the morning.. but i should think it would be worth it. after all, it beats 6.50 and screaming owners and 3 hour long rushes... but it's still work,new, refreshing, but work nonetheless. which i'm not complaining about, not at all. i rather enjoy the feeling of validity again.. it helps to think you are employed somewhere, rather than just wandering around aimlessly.. which i what i find myself doing. i think my favorite line was "you have some wonderful ideas... BUT.." and that but is always there... you simply fall short of perfection, dear dear ardere. hrm. maybe next sunday will be different.
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