Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

*** TOUR TO HOLLAND 2000 ***


TOUR ORGANISED WITH
FOR TOUR PHOTO'S CLICK HERE

THE TOUR RULES


1.Always keep your tour rules available for inspection at all times
2.Obey the Social Secretaries at all times (Berni + Vicky)
3.Obey Weights'n'Measures
4.Everyone is Chief Sneak
5.No wandering off on your own
6.No shagging permitted
7.No pulling unless pullee passes Committee inspection
8.No whingeing, stropping, chomping or kicking off
9.Always use tour names
10.Join in with all singing
11.Punctuality is essential
12.Wear your tour shirt at all times other than the match
13.No wussy shots or half pints during socials
14.No double banking
15.No kipping during activity hours
16.Do not fall overboard without a rubber ring
17.No falling off stools
18.Avoid Unidentified Flying Sprouts
19.No getting arrested
20.Don't listen to Berni's dares
21.No resigning or retiring on tour
22.No frocks - except nighties (if you must!)
23.Learn the tour anthem quickly
24.No stealing bicycles
25.No picking tulips
26.Attempt Dutch at least once
27.Tempt a Dutchman at least once!
28.Keep possession of your EDAM at all times
29.No ballet excercises on tour
30.No midnight room cleaning services
31.Leave the fire extinguisher where it's meant to be
32.Taxi fares must be paid in full
33.No semtex on tour
34.Be alert for RED ALERTS
35.Observe all rules of the circle
36.Send a rude postcard
37.Bicycle clips must be worn at all times (except match)
38.Don't leave any belongings unattended
39.Stay with your group during designated events
40.No 'going commando'
41.No eating cold pot noodle half naked
42.No borrowing contraceptive pills
43.Have photo I.D. at all times
44.Attendance at Vallies on Monday is compulsory
45.HAVE FUN!!!

THE TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

THE TEAMS...


THE HAGUE: Berni, Kanga, Sara, Vicky R.

CLOGS:Sharon, Taff, Trish, Nikki, Alice, Vixter

TULIPS: Pam, Jenny, Babs, Sarah P., Alex, Amanda.

CHEESE: Emski, Clarky, Alice P., Ang, Liz, Collette.

WINDMILLS: Claire, Keebs, Dom, Emma W., Emma B., Laura.

AN ANALYSIS OF THE CHAMPIONSHIPS:-


The first event was the boat race of drinks on the upper deck onboard the ferry to Rotterdam. Everyone cheated loads but as it was soooo windy and frrrreeezing we couldn't be bothered to penalise everyone so anyway it worked out that CLOGS came first, followed by TULIPS, CHEESE and then wussy WINDMILLS last!

The second event was the alternative Treasure Hunt race in and around Scheveningen. This is Scheveningen. We stayed in the Bate's Motel not far from the Kurhaus Hotel on Gevers Deynootweg...I'm just coming mother!

The groups were sent to find:-


With a time limit and a spending limit they all set off quite enthusiastically. When it came around to judging the competition, everyone looked cream-crackered (just as we'd planned HAHAHAHAAA!!!) it was quite difficult in many cases because there were some VERY bizarre items brought back! Here are a few examples of what we received... From the beach we were brought sand, seawater, string and shells. There were plenty of rude postcards but the funniest were ones with CLOG members boobs plastered on the front of them in mini-stickers! There is always plenty of tacky shite to be found in a resort like Scheveningen (think Blackpool!) and we had a plastic maracas-type thing and those shake'n'snow plastic things too. From the floor we had a marvellous 'fast car' poster calendar that the TULIPS had to get someone to move their parked car to retrieve!!! It came to light that the WINDMILL's cheated and didn't trek the mile to the Heineken Bar for their beermat and actually only went 2 bars away down the promenade we started on! Cheeky! The best beer was rude beer of course. Nothing very exciting came from the Tourist Office except stamps but as they were useful for sending the rude postcards bonus points were given. The most impressive finds though have to be for the 'something orange'... CLOG's came back completely 'orangified' with various orange makeovers and bits'n'bobs. Overall though, the positions were CLOGS 1st (again!), followed by TULIPS, CHEESE + WINDMILLS were last (again!).

The third event was the beach section.
We were very surprised with the brilliant effort put in to this round and as it was a lovely sunny day it turned out to be a good laugh. The first part was to create a sandcastle of your particular team's emblem which would be judged on it's originality, decoration and construction.

An aerial view of Scheveningen's main beach and the pier... probably a similar view after a visit to Amsterdam...(think about it!)...

The winners this time were CLOGS with a giant clog that Hugo's Boss sat inside, then came the TULIPS who created a large tulip (using people) with a big sun, followed by CHEESE with a mouse juggling cheese triangles, and last but not least the WINDMILLS with their 3D windmill with a footbridge and er...'little man'!
We then had group relay races to the sea and back which was hilarious to watch as you all pelted across the shells (poor Sate) and apart from random dogs trying to sabotage the race it was soon over, the winners being TULIPS, then WINDMILLS (Woo! You didn't lose!), 3rd were CHEESE and for the first time in history the CLOGS came last! Then a mass riot broke out and all the sand creations were demolished! OOPS!

The fourth event was back on the ferry towards Hull, which was a general knowledge quiz - we had some interesting answers here! No there is not such a river as the River Nut in Brazil! Once again the clever CLOGS won, followed by WINDMILLS (making a bit of a comeback), CHEESE and then TULIPS (all braun and no brains eh?!).

The fifth and final event was at Festival Park, 10pin bowling. The first half of the rounds had to be done using the wrong hand, the second half we allowed use of the ususal hand (not that it made any difference to Happy Camper who was better with the wrong hand than the right!). After many flukey shots and a couple of strikes we discovered the best player overall with 121 points was the girl who can't even recognise her own sister on a photograph (and they're identical twins!) which is of course Tom, and the joint worst players with 57 points each were Tyson and Sean Bean !!! The winners, however, were the TULIPS, followed by WINDMILLS, CHEESE and then HA! HA! CLOGS! (About time too some might say!)...

So... with added bonus points and subtracted points given/taken here and there for cheating/sneaking/running through fountains in bra's + shorts etc., we finally drew the conclusion that the team to eat their EDAM would be (more to be added...)

THE TOUR MATCH

After a morning of playing games on the beach, we arrived at Leiden. The sun was beaming and we were greeted by two members of DIOK's team who promptly informed us that they were missing valuable players through injury...and pregnancy(?!?!) Buffalo Girl gasped and asked how far gone they were and refused to play against them! Er...hello? But this bode well for us anyway.

So we trotted out onto the pitch (which was flat for a change!) to warm up (Sate still in her rehab shades, Growler with a rucksack on) and the rest of their team emerged. "YIKES!!!" is what we thought with their average height of about 6 foot tall but this came to mean sweet nothing! It was soon discovered that they only had 10 players! Well, we'd come all this way so we lent them a few players, swapping back over according to the relevant injuries of course, but when Gobbler had her turn she had a stormer of a game, but WWW.COM! She's a hooker, a FORWARD! But somehow she did a nifty little run down the wing, a fabulous dive and scored a try!!! FOR LEIDEN!!!

Staffs really did kick ass in the scrums and displayed fine skill and fitness from the backs, particularly from V.I.P., Tom and Hugo's Boss, but the two star players of the day were Buffalo Girl and Lambrini Girl for their persistent efforts and enthusiasm on the pitch. Despite a slight comeback in the second half by Leiden, they couldn't hold us back and we went on to win a beer-swilling 50 - 15 ! A good effort by all, and even the supporters (Teri Waite III + Ooh Matron) got bladdered on vodka - good girls!

After the match we were fed some sort of mincey-chilli-beanfeast type dish which was surprisingly nice, but as for the beer, well let's just say I think Happy Camper's barred after demanding that the barman give her a smaller bit of head (on her pint! well, half pint thimble!). Then we exchanged gifts, ours being exceedingly cheap'n'cheerful whilest they gave us an embarrassingly groovy HUGE silver cup (to be delivered after engraving) and individual 'spot' prizes to Giraffe(for injury), Gobbler (for good effort on their team) and Dick Whittington (probably just coz they felt sorry for her - oops no sorry! I mean coz she's the Captain!). Finally we exchanged rugby songs and learnt the wonderful 'Father Abraham' song (and actions!), then we beat them in a thimble of lager boatrace, had a little boogie (we just had to get our line-dancing skills in there somewhere!) and off we went back to Shaveya... you know what it's called!


LEIDEN DIOK WOMENS RUGBY TEAM (FROM 1999?)
***The match is available on video - filmed by Bette Midlersch Ali Gsch***

THE TOUR CERTIFICATES

 Best at linedancing - Trish "Hugo's Boss" Jones
Biggest troublemaker - Sharon "Foghorn Leghorn" Mottershead
Most like tour name - Sara "Ooh Matron"
Longest tongue on tour - Alex "Sean Bean" Sharpe
Grossest comment (piss flaps) - Emma "Mrs. Shipman" Watkins
Most forgetful person on tour - Sarah "Peanut" Paddon
Founder of the McDonald's fanclub - Kanga "Teri Waite III" Holyland
The tour pharmacist - Emma "Late Deal" Blore
For putting BOMBS everywhere - Liz Lesbiansch/Bombinyerpintsche "Bette Midler" Warden!
Being jackanory of tour - Collette "Lambrini Girl" Mitchell
Most likely to drown in pint glass - Alice "Flounder" Park
Personal tour record for non-puking - Jo/Keebs "Sate" Tilley
Most likely to become a lap-dancer - Jenny "Tyson" Harrison
For believing we would shave her... - Claire "Magnet" Gold
Most demanding on tour - Vixter "V.I.P." McCormack
For talking to her own reflection at 9.30am (in Amsterdam!) - Berni "www.com" Fogg
For requesting linedancing activities on the ferry - Vicky "Chris Boardman" Robinson
For running through fountains fully clothed -Emma "Giraffe" Lemanski
For observing rule 27 too literally - Jill/Clarky "Dick Whittington" Driffield
Looked most 'at home' in a red light district window - Sarah/Pam "Gobbler" Wheatcroft
Being the most convincing windmill - Dom "Big Bad..."
The noisiest in bed - Katherine/Taff "McEnroe" James
Hyperactive eager beaver of tour - Amanda "Disco Diva" Mockridge
Wearing the most layers on tour - Babs "Tom" Madsen
For managing to successfully avoid fines all tour - Alice "Yoyo"
Doing the wheelbarrow dance all tour - Laura "Happy Camper" Evans
First to phone her boyfriend on tour - Nikki "Buffalo Girl" Janney
Dick of tour - Ang "Growler" Howe

THE TOUR AGENDA


Thurs 24th. Feb 2000.
11am - Meet at Sports Center Leek Rd campus.
Load up coach, say hello to Dick the driver.
11.30- Coach departs for Hull.
Everybody receives their tour shirt and packs.
16.30- Board ferry - free time.
19.00- Begin social.
1ST.TEAM EVENT - BOAT RACE.
21.30- Optional line-dancing (or taking the piss out
of line-dancers!) + Disco till you drop!

Fri 25th.
7am - Get up all you lazy birds! Wear your shorts'n't-shirts!
EVERYONE to go to breakfast.
8.00 - Board coach ready to hit Holland!
12.00- 2ND.TEAM EVENT - TREASURE HUNT RACE.
16.00- Head to pun for inspection + judging.
17.30- Free time.
19.00- Meet up at hotel to go to dinner (Italian restaurant).
King's Arms pub (open till 4am!) for Beer and Boogying.

Sat 26th.
9am - Breakfast.
10.00- 3RD.TEAM EVENT - The beach tournament.
13.00- Return to hotel to get ready for match.
14.00- Leave for LEIDEN DIOK Rugby club.
16.00- Kick off - supporters must get drunk and sing lots.
Hospitality + singing to follow match.
21.30- Return to the King's Arms in Scheveningen.

Sun 27th.
8am - Breakfast.
9.00 - Take Vixter to the airport.
Go to Amsterdam.
16.00- Leave for the port.
18.30- Ferry leaves Rotterdam's shores.
19.30- 4TH.TEAM EVENT - GENERAL KNOWLEDGE QUIZ.

Mon 28th.
6am - Get up for last breakfast of tour (it's free!).
8.00 - Ferry docks.
12.00- FINAL TEAM EVENT - WRONG-HANDED BOWLING (at Festival Park).
1.30 - Return to Shelton.
18.00- The Grand Finale social.
Fines and certificates.
10.30- Bus to Vallies...
CAN ANYONE MAKE IT TO ZARKA'S THIS YEAR?!



OTHER PAGES:

Getting Dirty With The Dutch - PHOTOGRAPHS
Tour 1999 - DUBLIN
Shamrock & Shenannigans - PHOTOGRAPHS
Tour to FRANCE 1998 - PHOTOGRAPHS (under construction)
Tour to WALES 1997 - PHOTOGRAPHS
Staffs Old Girls Hall Of Fam
Ivesey's Old Girls Website
COMING SOON - The Family Tree
The Dutch Womens Rugby Link
Leiden Diok Rugby Club Site
Scheveningen's Own Website
The Homepage

Email: djbeathoven@chickmail.com