Chapter 10
Two weeks later, Brian wasn’t feeling any better than that day Alicia left him. The Backstreet Boys were suppose to be in the studios to record their fourth album but Brian, who was singing a lot of lead parts, did not show up at the studio most of the time. When he did, he couldn’t sing and it wasn’t any better. Finally, Kevin proposed they took a break. They had been working for years without taking any real vacations. They were all tired and they could delay the release of their new CD.
Brian was releaved. He didn’t thought he would feel better in only two weeks but he knew that Kevin had done his very best to get these vacations.
Kevin approached Brian in the hall. “Brian, can I talk to you?”
Sighs. They had all tried to ‘talk’ to him but he needed to talk to Alicia, not the boys, althought he was appreaciating their effort. “Yeah, of course you can. But there’s not much to say.”
“I want to talk to you about Alicia.”
‘Surprise, surprise’, Brian thought.
“But also about the group. I understand there’s no one else than the two of you that can fix things up. I got you two weeks to do it. That’s the best we can do for you. When the two weeks will be over, we need to go back to the studio and work. The Backstreet Boys need you Brian. So come back in good shape and take care of yourself man. I’ll be in France, probably in Paris for awhile. If you need to talk, call this number and they’ll tell you exactly where I am. Have a good time!” He handed Brian a piece of paper and left.
Kevin’s intervention had really shook up Brian. He realized that he had let his best friends down and he suddenly felt very bad. His personal problems shouldn’t have affected the Backstreet Boys.
He went home that night and like always, thought about Alicia. The difference was that he wasn’t crying. He wanted explanations to all his questions. Why did she leave? Nothing came to his mind to explain this one. Was it something he had done? If so, what could he have done that would have made her leave like this? When would she call? Would she ever call? This thought made him frown. He had to receive some answers. She owned them to him.
He left for her appartment thirty minutes later, looking better than he had in days.
*Alicia’s appartment*
Alicia was sitting on the couch. She had taken some time off from the office because she had been incapable to work. Her mind kept on going from Brian to the baby she was carrying inside her. Justin was with her, trying to make her say what was on her mind. He was very worried. She had been acting like that for days, staring at a close television all day. He had arrived two days ago when Sabrina had called him. She was desperate. Alicia hadn’t eaten in days, was sleeping on the couch and cried all the time. Sabrina obviously knew what was happening or at least some of it but she refused to tell him what was going on. Now, he had to go back to work but it was breaking his heart to leave her like this.
He sat next to her on the couch. “Alicia, I’ll have to go back to work today but I don’t want to leave you without knowing what is going on. Please tell me so I can help you.”
She looked at him and he saw all the sadness in her beautifull green eyes. She rested her head on his chest and she started to cry again. He put his arms around her and they stayed like that for several minutes. She finally murmured, “I’m pregnant Justy. 4 months. I've never been regular and I was so busy, I didn't even noticed it.” She slowly stood up and looked at him. He seemed surprised but didn’t say anything. “Why aren’t you saying something?”
“I can’t think of anything else to say but ‘congratulations’. It’s obviously not what you want to hear.”
She pulled away and shook her head. “You don’t understand either.”
“What is there to understand baby? You’re pregnant! It should be one of the happiest days of your life but you’re not happy at all. I don’t know why so what can I say?”
“I thought that you and Sab would have understood what I was going through. I thought the two of you knew everything about me.” She noticed that Sabrina was in the room and listning to the conversation. She also had been waiting for an explanation and she was glad it was finally coming. “Did you forgot what was my dream Sab? Did you forgot all about it?” Sabrina slowly shook her head. She hadn’t forgotten. “I don’t want that baby.” She waited before continuing. “All I ever wanted to do was work with celebreties and tell the whole world about their idoles. I wanted to be known everywhere and by everyone has the best reporter on earth. Delivering shattering news. That was my dream. Now it’s all over.”
Sabrina and Justin didn’t know what to say. They hadn’t realized just how much Alicia wanted this life and just how much she was ready to sacrifice to get it. Sabrina asked, “What are you going to do about Brian? Nick told me that he…”
“Stop it! I don’t want to know! I can’t talk to him before I’ve decided what to do. I can’t give up on my job. It’s too important for me. That means I can’t keep the baby. I won’t be a half reporter and a half mother. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone. But Brian will never forgive me for giving it away or having an abortion. So what do I do now? I loose my dream or I loose Brian. I can’t live without either of them.” Tears were strolling down her cheeks.
Justin took her in his harms and holded her very tight. “You’ll see sweetie, it’s going to be alright.”, he said, trying to comfort her.
She murmured, “I’m pregnant, Justy, nothing’s gonna be the same anymore.”
At this moment, Brian came in the living room. He had just entered room without doing any noise because he was afraid she wouldn’t of let him in the house if he had knocked. But what he saw was worst. Alicia and Justin. The truth hit him in the face. Her refusal to go with him on his tour and her going with ‘N Sync instead. Alicia and Justin. A terrible pain crossed his body and gave him the courage to confront them. “I came here for an explanation but I have it in front of me so don’t bother explaning anything. Now everything is clear.”
Alicia looked up, extreamly surprised to see him. “What are you doing here Brian?” she asked in a small voice.
“I came to see what my girlfriend was up to and get some answers but like I just said don’t bother. You’re just going to waist my time and yours.” His voice was very cold.
She was desperate because she knew that she was about to loose him. “Brian you don’t understand!” she said.
“What is there to understand?”
She couldn’t tell him. Not now. She had to make up her mind first. She slowly shook her head. “I need more time.”
“What? You are asking me for more time? Come on, Alicia, don’t take me for a fool! I thought there was more between us then lies. I thought you loved me. Trust me, I sincerely did love you. More than you can ever imagine. I never suspected any of this. How could you do this to us? But if it’s all about choosing between him and me, I’ll help you!” He turned around and started to walk toward the door.
Justin had heard enough. It was time to end this big misunderstanding and if Alicia wasn’t able to do it he would be the one to do the job. “Brian!” he screamed. Justin got up and walked toward Brian, his anger suddenly exploding. “Stop acting like a child and jumping to stupid conclusions. She needs you more than ever!”
Brian stopped. “And what makes you think that Mr Timberlake?”
“She’s pregnant.” He dropped it like a bomb. Everyone was silent. Everyone was looking at Brian. Alicia had tears streaming down her face has she waited for his reaction.
Brian couldn’t believe it. The doubt was killing him. He had to know. “And may I ask who’s the father?”
Alicia looked at him in the eyes. “How can you say something like that?” Alicia was amazed by the way they had drifted apart so quickly.
“Oh please, stop it! I find you here with Justin two weeks after you told me to stay away from you because you supposedly needed time to think. You were in his arms, telling him you are pregnant. So you tell me what the hell I’m suppose to say or think!”
Alicia couldn’t pronunce a word. Brian had changed a lot in two weeks and she knew she had put him through a lot. He now spoke with anger and the sparkles in his eyes were gone. She vaguely noticed Justin’s quick glare before he and Sabrina went into Sab’s bedroom. “I’ll tell you everything if you want to listen to what I have to say.”
“Go ahead.”
“First of all, there’s nothing more than friendship between Justin and me. We’ve been good friends for a long time, just like with Sabrina. It's always going to be friendship. He was here because Sab had called him because she was worried about me.”
“Why?” Brian was listning attentivly and he was glad he had been wrong about Ali and Justin.
“I haven’t done much in the last two weeks. I learned that I was pregnant the day I left Costa Rica. I was so mixed up: my dreams, my values, my career, my love for you, fear, all kind of feelings were tangled inside me. I had to decide what I wanted to do about the baby before telling you.”
“What do you mean? You thought about getting ride of it?!?”
“I didn’t knew what to do.” She was calm and definitly didn’t wanted to fight.
“You should of told me! How could you do that to me? To us? We could of talked about it and figured out together what to do.”
Alicia put her hands on her face and Brian knew that she was crying. She was still sitting on the couch. Brian started to feel sorry for her and he could never of forgotten all the love he felt for her. He sat beside her and enclosed her body with his strong arms. She rested her head on his heart.
“Darling, please stop crying. I don’t like seeing you like this. I need you to tell me how you feel about all this.” He was playing with her hair. He took her chin in his hand and forced her to look up at him. He also was surprised by all the sadness he saw in her eyes. “Alicia, all that really counts now is that we’re together and that we love each other. I promise you that I will always be there for you and God only knows just how much I love you.”
“I love you too Brian.” She smiled and they held each other really tight while she explained what she had been through. When she finished, her decision was made. “Brian, I want that baby. More than anything.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to keep it just because…”
She silenced him by putting her finger on his soft lips. “I want it because it’s our baby. It represent our love. Us. Together. Now and forever.” She made a quick pause before finishing. “And that’s way more important than any career in the world!”
Chapter 9
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