After two concerts and six days filled with promotions and meet n’ greets, the Boys came back home exhausted. They had enjoyed their visit in Asia, even thought the last couple of days had been especially hard for all of them. They had been home for two weeks now and Nick had kept his promise. He hadn’t spoken to Brian since the meeting. Even if it was hard for Brian to stay away from his best friend, he tried to respect his wish. Brian had talked to Sabrina everyday and he was happy that she was coming home the next day. Her film was finally over after weeks of delays because of the bad weather. Brian was still living with Nick, but they hardly ever saw each other because Nick always came home late at night and was out again every day very early.
That morning was an exception. Nick slept until 1pm and came down the stairs in boxers and t-shirt. Brian was having lunch in the kitchen and he was reading a book. Kevin had taken the kids to a local amusement park.
“Good morning,” he greeted Nick, not expecting an answer but wanting to be polite.
“Hi.”
Brian was surprised. First because Nick was still in the house and second because he talked to him. He didn’t want to let go of this opportunity. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been better.”
Brian nodded. What could he answer to that?
“When is Sabrina coming home?”
Another surprise. “I’m suppose to pick her up at the airport at four o’clock.”
“Would you mind if I pick her up myself? We’ll have some things to say to each other. I’d like this little talk to be over before she comes home and walks into her new life.”
Nick was very calmed and seemed somewhat older. “What made you change your mind?”
“Change my mind about what?”
“You promised never to talk to us ever again. I thought you’d hate me for the rest of your life.”
Nick took his time to answer. “I don’t hate you anymore. I really did at first. But I realize now that hate is useless. I would suffer more from it than you. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still hurt and angry. But I can’t forget that you were my best friend. The bond between us can’t be broken over some girl Brian. And if you are happy with Sabrina, then I don’t have a right to interfer.”
This speech had been so unexpected that Brian had no idea how to react. He finally asked Nick. “Are we still friends Nick? Are you saying you’re forgiving me?”
“Yes, I forgive you. As of friendship, I like to believe that nothing and no one can come between us Brian. In other words, we’re still friends. But I’m telling you right now that it will probably never be the same. I’ve changed a lot in two weeks. And I’m in a good mood now. When times get rough, I might come up with this again, because even thought I can forgive, I will never forget.”
* * * * *
The only thing Nick could do was stare at Sabrina, acknowledging how beautifull she still was. Her tan on the yellow summer dress reminded him why he still loved her so much. The way her blue eyes were impatiently searching the crowd made him sad. She was looking for Brian, not him. When she noticied him, her smile didn’t fade away, as he expected. She walked toward him and hugged him.
“I’m glad to see you Nick. I missed you.”
His smile disappeared instantly. “Don’t play games with me Sabrina. I think you went far enough. Brian’s waiting for you at the house. I insited to pick you up so we could talk.”
“I owe you so much more than just a talk Nick.”
“You don’t owe me anything, except making this breakup worth something by being happy.”
“I don’t want you to think that I wasn’t happy with you. You’ve always been wonderfull to me in every possible ways. But I don’t think I fell in love with the real Nick Carter from the beginning. Let me try to explain: since the very first time I heard ‘We’ve Got It Goin’ On’, the Backstreet Boys has always been my favorite group. I immediately fell in love with your voice, your smile, your eyes. I also loved everything I heard about you from friends and in magazines. But all of that wasn’t part of who you really are. It’s your public personnality, if I can call it like that. When I saw you that very first day in the hospital when I opened my eyes, I thought I was dreaming. I wanted us to be together.”
“I can’t see where our relationship went wrong.”
“I don’t think it ever went right. We never took the time to really get to know each other. We’ve been a couple for over a year but I still feel like I don’t know you as much as I should. And you don’t know me either Nick. You don’t know anything about my dreams, my plans, my hopes. We’ve both been so busy doing our own things that we never stopped to talk about us.”
“Did you ever sincerely loved me?”
“I thought I did. But now that I really think about it, I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with the image I had of you long before I ever met you.”
“But we’ve known each other for over a year now. Didn’t that give you plenty of time to get to know the real me?”
“I already told you that. The group keeps you so busy, and I have my acting career. I don’t think I loved you for the good reasons. The mistake we made was to start dating before getting to know each other. Unfortunately, there’s no going back. Now, I just hope that we can start all over again and be the best of friends.”
Nick looked silently at the road. They were almost home now and there was one last thing he wanted to know. “Why would it work with Brian if it didn’t work with me?”
“There is so many events in our lives that brought us closer together and gave me the chance to get to know him. Even if at first I was a little bit jealous of all the time he spent with Ali, it still allowed me to spend time with him. When Ali died, I felt like no one understood me the way Brian did. He was going throught the same thing. Then, there’s the Ryan and Lilah. They will always link us together. They’re a bond between us that can never be broken.”
“You’re talking about my best friend. Did you ever thought about how much this would hurt me? Didn’t you cared at all?”
“Of course I did. I still do. But that’s the way I feel and I can’t change it. I didn’t want this to happen but it just did. I’m trying to follow what my heart tells me to do.”
“I can’t stop you from loving him. It just makes it worst that you cheated on me with my best friend.”
“I’m not even going out with Brian.”
“Maybe your body didn’t cheat on me but your heart surely did.”
“My heart never belonged to you. I don’t think I will ever find the words to express how sorry I am. I’m sorry because I haven’t been the honest, loving, caring girlfriend you deserve. There’s nothing more I can say except that I hope we’ll learn to be friends.”
Brian was waiting on the porch with the kids playing on the front lawn when the car pulled into the driveway. Nick stormed out of the car and into the house.
“Saby!” Ryan jumped into Sabrina’s arms and put a wet kiss on her cheek.
“I’m so glad to see you sweety.”
Even thought Brian was happy to see Sabrina, he was still concerned about Nick. “How did it go?”
“Oh, very well. I love Spain. I can’t wait for you to see the movie.”
“I was talking about Nick. What happened on the way home? He insisted to pick you up.”
“Oh, sorry.” She sighed. “I guess it went OK. I might of been a little bit rough with him. I’m sure he’ll get over it. I don’t think he loves me as much as he thinks he does. He’ll find someone else in no time.”
“Would that bother you? Sure sounds like it.”
She looked pensive for awhile. “I don’t think it would. If I can go on and be with someone else, he has a right to that too. Things may not be easy around the house for some time.”
“I know. When are you moving in my room?” He smirked.
“Let’s take it nice and slow chéri. I’ll move in the guest room for now. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.”
“Saby? Park!”
“I think we’ll have to continu this conversation later. I’ll go unpack.”
* * * * *
The next morning, Sabrina woke up in her new room. Ryan was sleeping next to her. She got up without making noise and started to get dressed when she noticed a letter on the floor. When she opened the enveloppe, it didn’t take long before tears started to stroll down her cheeks:
Dear Sabrina,
when you will find this letter I will be gone. I can’t live in a house filled with
memories of us and be a witness to your new happiness with Brian. It hurts too much
to see the woman I love in the arms of my best friend. It may take a while before we
see each other again. I need some time to hasl my broken haart. I hope you understand.
I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to tell you myself. My heart will always belong to
you.
With love,
Nick