Watch out for Xena
Yeah she's my princess
Look out for Xena
Yeah she don't come home nights
But she goes (na na na)
Yeah she goes (na na na) look out for me!

Watch out Xena
Don't spin your arrows
Watch out for Xena
Yeah she'll make loving a sport
But she goes (na na na)
Yeah she goes (na na na) look out for me!

Watch out Xena
Yeah things aren't safe here
Catch up with Xena
You catch up with half some journey out there

ONE LEVEL ISLAND

Short blast all aboard the ferry leaves the city
For the one level island
A sad old man he stays on the boat
His eyes were fixed too far away he sits still

If you've lost it well whose fault was it?
If you've blown it well who's gone and stolen it?
If you've lost it well whose fault was it?
If you've blown it well who's gone and stolen it?

Short blast all aboard the ferry leaves the city
For the one level island
A sad old man he stays on the boat
His eyes were fixed too far away he sits still
he sits still

HOT PANTS

I got hot pants hot pants hot pants on on a Sunday
Pants is hot but I'm just too hung to peel 'em off
Got me hungover blues, got my bird in hand
Bird in hand, bird in hand, well that's two in the bush
Gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta prune that bush (two in the bush! two in the bush!)
'fore them old bones get too old to rock
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Before this luck runs dry we'll do it in our hot pants

Ooh...hockey is the glue
hockey is the glue
keeps my head on, makes me pay my taxes
then when day gets old we'll do it on our faxes

I got hot pants hot pants hot pants on now it's Monday
got to get on up got to earn them taxes
got me hungover blues gotta earn them taxes
then when we retire we'll grow old in our hot pants

It was a big night big night big night and I passed out on the stage
found myself a garbage can and I relieved my liver in it
right in front of the crowd right in front of the stage but I pays them taxes, it's good for the country
she's under the knife again
such good things happen to those who crave no fame
it's too late, it's too late
for rocking in them hot pants

DAVE'S BROKEN ANKLE

My foot plays the part of pylon to dogs and cats but
I'm not smiling
I know the needs and the various speeds of all the twelfth place winter athletes
You can tell just who your friends are by what they feed you and who supplies the bender
A haze of codeine sits between my appetite and what I ought to eat
What a good skeleton the sun it says it's mine in seven years

CAMEMBERT

Camembert you don't come through
Over there we can see right through you
You took the light but you left us behind
Rotary dialogue rotary dialogue rotary dialogue

Hey Camembert you're breaking down
Just look at you you see it too
Yeah you stole the light from the papers'
Rotary dialogue

Yeah and over there the judge's chair
Just look at you split in two
Yeah you stole the light from the papers' rotary
dialogue rotary dialogue

UMPIRE

Forty years between the cradle and the grave
At seven pounds a year that's an awful lot of flan cake
That's forty years -- that's forty years!
That's forty years -- that's forty years!

Who could bridge the distance between the crave and the ladle
And what an April Fool's day gag and what a plate to pull your gag at
That's forty years -- that's forty years!
That's forty years -- that's forty years!

So hats off to the umpire it all made sense
He dies without a recourse and there's no recompense
And all the sensitive broadcasts get weepy and pensive
What a drag it wasn't prime time time
Who could bridge the distance between the grave and the cradle?
And who would shake their beliefs when they realize all that they've got left?
That's forty years -- that's forty years!
That's forty years -- that's forty years!

So hats off to the umpire it all made sense
He dies without a recourse and there's no recompense
And all the sensitive broadcasts get weepy and pensive
What a drag it wasn't prime time time
And who's got the time? Not me!

SENSITIVE

You're gonna get some cause you're dressed in all the right beads
Cause yo's sensitive and even sensitives they've got needs
Just like your old man you've got a bachelor pad

So tell anyone who's got the cromozone X
And all the telltale vintage clothes that she can rally on your futon next
Like your old man you've got a bachelor pad

You worked out twice last month to intimidate at the hip-hop shows
You want to be a big turk but well do you know where eaten big turks go?
You're like a piece of your old man strung out in your bachelor pad

You eat at Pizza Hut and McDonald's when there's no-one around
But when the lights come on it's all cous cous and veggie dogs
You never thanked your old man but he still wires you your allowance

BIG IN FRANCE

Big in France -- can't garner happenstance
when you've got better things to do with your hands
Big in France -- drink wine with every meal
That's how they stomach Jerry Lewis
You say you wanna -- you say you wanna
Now you want to be the big man in France
First you should hire somebody to dance while you sing

Got big in German bars
'cause they related when you talked to your car
Big in France -- found refuge on the beach
'cause we're all suckers for the silicone charms
course if it don't work out well there's always Japan

Yeah baby David Hasselhoff ready to rock you all down
With a new brand of Europop and I'm here to tell you kids
If you pull a jack move on me I'll kick you square in the ass
'cause it's not cool to do grass man,
'cause you all gotta be true to yourself and don't drive drunk

Then when the curtain falls we'll reminisce about your physical charms
Force fed the kids gateau to get a bigger slice of the tarte
Course if it don't work out well there's always Japan
Do you understand?

DECEMBER

It's like the man who tries but can't keep his temper
He ends up saying things he really don't mean

It's like catching an April rain in December
Feels good on your face but it don't mean what it means

ALL ALONE

All alone, by my window, sitting in my empty room
All alone, I burn incense and dream in the smoke, all alone
The white light gleams through scudding clouds
In the cold sweat of the ninth month
The shaking leaves and their quaking back never
Grows lighter for an instant
All alone, by my window, sitting in my empty room
All alone, I burn incense and dream in the smoke, all alone
The trees are shaking in the day and I'm wondering
The trees shake in the day, I think they look at me funny
But I've got incense that burns my window and it scares my throat
But it feels so good when I get it in me
All alone, by my window, sitting in my empty room
All alone, I burn incense and dream in the smoke, all alone
It's all connected, living things cling to arctic
rocks burrowing through
Crevices that don't exist to sight of touch
All alone, by my window, sitting in my empty room
All alone, I burn incense and dream in the smoke, all alone
And what it's not it what we're taught some god's book that accords us
Gets written by us -- it's just what the earthworm sees.
So what's the point of dreaming if you can't come too
Like a sticky brake pedal you just can't be sure
Where the line that separates you from the other line is drawn
When it's moving day to day it don't mean that you've drawn it wrong
Everybody in the house started heading for the door Just a few of them at first but very soon a lotta more
Once they realized the guy who rhymed came from the wrong shore
As though the colour of his skin determined how it was he'd sound
But he said it and he meant it and he never meant to rhyme to get defensive
But the crowd made up its mind before he'd opened up his mouth
And the crowd had shut their ears before the second word fell out
All alone, by my window, sitting in my empty room
All alone, I burn incense and dream in the smoke, all alone

FELICITY

I think I like her but I can't be sure
I don't have time for this I have to study
Felicity! Felicity! Felicity!

Be careful who you open up your books for
They might know too much about you
So watch that don, watch that don -- that scoundrel!

Felicity! Felicity! Felicity!
I don't have time for this I have to study!

TELLETUBBIES

We'd never fuss and fight like this
In the grassy land of the Telletubbies
Bunnies wander recklessly
Not afraid of the teasing Dipsy
We'd never grunt and growl like beasts
If filled with Telletubby fleece
'cause under the wrathful eyes of their sun god
Orwellian headsets would send us to bed
Laa-Laa never picks on Tinky Winky
When from time to time he does sport a purse or even a handbag
Build repetitious self-esteem
It's bye-bye time for Telletubbies -- AGAIN!
Just watch my tummy glow... (repeat)

All lyrics by "Dr. Pickles" except "Dave's Broken Ankle" by Dave Rodgers and Dr. Pickles and "Felicity" by Michelle Breslin and Dr. Pickles.