Yo Momma
Yo mama's so hunchbacked, she has to look up to tie her shoes.
Yo mama fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Yo mama's house has roaches so big, the termites have to carry switchblades
Yo mama's so cheap, instead of buying a fire alarm, she hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling.
Yo mama's twice the man you are.
Yo mama is so bad, when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty.
Yo Mama's so fat the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds
Yo Mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.
Yo Mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo Mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
Yo Mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."
Yo Mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Yo Mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo Mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.
Yo Mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.
Yo Mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease,
the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo Mama's so hairy, when she goes to the circus the bearded lady protests against non- union workers.
Yo Mama's so ugly, It looks like someone set her face on fire and put it out with a axe!!
Yo Mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
Yo Mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo Mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.
Yo Mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.
Yo Mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
Yo Mama's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment
Yo Mama's so old, her birth-certificate expired.
Yo Mama's so old, she has an autographed bible.
Yo Mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Yo Mama's so poor, she can't even afford to go to the free clinic
Yo Mama's so poor, she had to put free samples on layaway.
Yo Mama's so poor, burglars break in and leave money.
Yo Mamas so short, she trips on her tampon string
Yo Mama's so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Yo Mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
Yo Mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.
Yo Mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
Yo Mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo Mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
Yo Mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
Yo Momma's so ugly, she turned 3 cannibals into vegetarians
Yo Momma's so ugly, she couldn't get jumped if she was playing checkers
Yo Momma's so fat, if she ever wanted to let it all hang out It'd take at least 3 trips
Your Mom's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Your Mom is so ugly when robbers broke in she yelled rape, they yelled
NO!!
Your Mom's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .
for a quote!
Your Mom's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest,
they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Your Mom's so ugly people go as her for Halloween
Your Mom's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Your Mom's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Your Mom's so old, she wrote up Noah's animal list
Your Mom's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Your Mom's so old she pisses cobwebs and farts dust.
Your Mom's so old her social security number is 1!
Your Mom's so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch
Your Mom is so nasty, when she takes off her panties it sounds like Velcro.
Your Mom's so nasty that when she got in the bath tub the water jumped out.
Your Mom's so nasty, she went into a haunted house, and came out with a job applacation.
Your Mom's so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Your Mom's so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape
Your Mom's so fat the only time she saw 90210 is when she stepped on the scale.
Your Mom's so fat, when she rolls over in bed she burns her ass on the light bulb.
Your Mom is so fat she when she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
Your Mom is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Your Mom's so fat she has to put a belt on with a boomerang.
Your Mom's so fat, that after we finished having sex,
I rolled over twice, and I was still on her!
Your Mom's so fat she wakes up in sections!
Your Mom's so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side!
Your Mom's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Your Mom's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Your Mom's so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "Okay!"
Your Mom's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Your Mom's so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
Your Mom's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Your Mom's so short, she has to cuff her panties!
Your Mom's so short she does backflips under the bed.
Your Mom's so short she can play handball on the curb.
Your Mom's so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Your Mom's so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
Your Mom's so short she poses for trophies!
Your Mom is so hairy, I thought she was my uncle.
Your Mom's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Your Mom's so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
Your Mom's so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
Your Mom's so hairy you can part her legs with a machette.
Your mom is so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping from the basement window!
Your mom is so stupid she tripped on a cordless phone.
Your mom is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Your Mom's so stupid she tried to drown a fish!
Your Mom's so stupid; you come in and say it's chilly outside,
she'll run out with a spoon!
Your Mom's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Your Mom's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif
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