Signs for the Stupid
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm
Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You
wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops,
never mind. I didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of
boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend
comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our
stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes.
"By the way, here's a sign for you."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we
pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer
of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope -Talked 'em into giving up. Have a sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery
channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And
there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that
shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this
pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
"Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at
my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?"
I couldn't resist so I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other
three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over
to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We
get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and
grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If
he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure.
Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck
got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I
radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take
the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no
problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until
he asked "So..is your truck stuck?"
I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back
to him and said "no I'm delivering' a bridge...here's your sign."
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