Mrs. Beverly Hyles and my daughter, Rebekah

This is an exerpt from the chapter, "Assembling a Leader" by Mrs. Jack (Beverly) Hyles in her book titled, "Woman, the Assembler". Assembling A Leader

Do you realize how dependent upon you your husband is for his self-esteem? To feel that he can go out and be a great man of God, he has to see that you believe in him. And one of the most important ways that you help him believe he is going to be successful is by being satisfied with what he provides for you. May I share an excellent excerpt from a book I read about building your mate's self esteem? "Understand his need to work. An area for struggle for many wives is a husband's job and its pressures." The past three decades of new ideologies about women's rights have left Christian women confused. Instead of building up our husbands to go out and be successful in their work, we've been told we also can go and do our own thing and make a salary. Consequently, many of us as Christian wives have lost sight of our husbands'needs as we've focused on our own. In some cases, women are making more money than their husbands, and that's really a very dangerous situation because a man wants to be the provider. God put him in that position.

I'd like to briefly explain the importance of work in your husband's life. Your husband needs work in order to realize the satisfaction inherent in his doing God's stated purpose of ruling and managing God's creation. When Adam and Eve fell in the garden, Eve was cursed with bearing children in pain. But man was given the curse of working by the sweat of his brow. Working was God-given, and the fact is, men enjoy working. You might even find, as some of us who are leaders' wives have found, that work is probably your man's number one priority. That's fine... especially if he is serving God... providing he doesn't neglect to make some time for his family. And he will make time if you don't nag him so much about what he can't provide for you that he finally decides, "Oh, I'd rather stay at church than go home to her."

Work is important to men, and part of the reason is so they can give you the things they know you would love to have. On the other hand, a man who doesn't work lacks self-respect or self-esteem. A man needs to provide for his family; when his salary doesn't satisfy you, it tears down your husbands self-respect and self-esteem. Therefore, it's vital that you learn how to keep your needs and wants simple to keep that from happening to your man.