REDNECK LOVE POEM
Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have
a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk, a flapping in the breeze Softer than
Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth for which I am proud; I hold my head
high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in
hawg heaven and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to
deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch
up life's troubles and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up
my life more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is
complete; ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it
at
Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger.
That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and so couth.
But for this man, honey, these jist won't do, Cause yor'e too
special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful
than
diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
There was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
> > > > 1 was to be shot
> > > > 2 was to be hung
> > > > 3 was to be injected with the A.I.D.S. virus.
So the German said,"Shoot me right in the head."
(Boom, he was dead instantly).
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me."
(Snap, he was dead.)
Then the Redneck said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the redneck fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Redneck said "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. So finally the warden said, "What the heck are you laughing at???"
The Redneck replied, "Ya'all are so stupid.....
I'm wearing a condom."
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE -
She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
She is not a SLUT -
She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
