118 Goth Lines Often Heard In Bed...
1 - "OUCH! Do that again!"
2 - "God, I love it when you bite me THERE!!"
3 - "OW! Shit! That was hot! (seconds later) Do it again!"
4 - "Geez, is it morning already?"
5 - (with evil grin on face) "Time for the leather and whip cream sweetie."
6 - "You waited to put that thing on 'til NOW?!?!"
7 - "No marks!"
8 - "You taste like an ashtray."
9- "My headache is starting to go away."
10- "You have a psychedelic penis."
11- "I can make your penis sing...see?"
12- "The guy is watching us."
13- "Could you cut this thing off me?"
14- "Help I'm stuck!!"
15- "My legs went numb! How'd you do that??!??"
16- "Oh my, my entire body is tingling!" Sex Tip: unplug the Bed.
17- "I love seeing your painted black fingernails against my skin."
18- "May your lips be blessed, for they are truly sinful."
19- "Are the handcuffs too tight?"
20- "Do you really want me to wear this makeup to bed?"...Thoughtful look... pause... guilty look... vigorous NOD.
21- "I miss my dog."
22- "Oh...harder...*deeper*..."
23- "God, your skin is *silk*, I tell you."
24- "You taste so sweet."
25- "No, stay still, shhhh...I just want to be in you."
26- "Does it hurt, my sweet? Oh *good*..."
27- "Drink."
28- "Tighter? You greedy thing, you."
29- "Is that your hair in my mouth or mine?"
30- "Oh, I've lost my earring again!"
31- "PLEASE??" *sob*
32- Just for effect, ask someone what they would think about rutting in a bathtub filled with jello. I have never seen that look on anyones face before. ;)
33- "Wait. Don't move. No really, don't move. My ampallang's caught in your labia rings. It's not funny! Just lie still for a second."
34- "Shall we have a cigarette now or is that a cliche?" (Is that *during* sex, if so I think it's kinda fun to do. Really hard not to burn your partner though) "Ouch" Puff "Ouch"
puff "Whoops sorry about that -- but hey it'll leave a nice scar!"
35- "Get off your all pointy."
36- "Your better than your mother."
37- "Help me, I'm stuck.......On second thought…"
38- "This thing is too small... why didn't you get a bigger coffin?" 40- "OOUUCh... do it again"
"No, that candle has got to last all night."
39- "Are you pubic hairs normally that colour or do you dye them?"
40- "Damn I've lost the key...You don't happen to know where there's a hacksaw do you?"
41- "Mmmm, you taste really nice…must have been that raspberry ice lolly."
42- "So, do you like to be tied up?"
43- "I hope you don't mind, but I've shaved all my body hair."
44- "Do we have to take our boots off to screw?"
45- "You know, you might wanna take my bra off BEFORE you put the handcuffs on."
46- "Stop! I think my Dad's home!"
47- "SHIT!" (to my SO as her dorm room door flings open)
48- "HI! Did you forget something?" (to your SO's roommate as she's staring at your butt high up in the air...)
49- "I hope that was as good for you as it was for me"
Reply: "When you say 'you,' are you referring to me as a metaphysical subject, to the impersonal pre-metaphysical *moi*, or simply to my personal self?"
(Reflecting): "Well darling, as I'm not interested in truth-as-correspondence at this moment, I suppose it must be #2."
(Smiling, like a benighted philosoph): "What a romantic Nietzschean move on your part, my little Uber-kink."
(Fingertips dally on material being): "Let's do it again, only this time with a *will-to-power*"
(Complies, most willingly, but thinking, "Good thing it wasn't Foucault this time as the candles are all burnt out and the rest of the gear is locked up in my briefcase")
50- "Oh no!!! That won't fit THERE!!!!"
51- "That better be white candle wax your dripping on me, the black candles leave stains..."
52- "What the hell...Did you put Floodland on REPEAT?!!!!!"
53- "Shit! The chain is caught around my ankles again...."
54- "Wait...I'll be right back...I need to download one more program..."
55- "Hmmmm, let's take a break. I need to check my e-mail and I'm sure you probably do too...."
56- "Are those bite marks!!?? Great, what am I going to wear around my neck at work tomorrow!?"
57- "You ARE a girl/boy….right?"
58- "Well….you could pretend I'm a boy/girl!"
59- "C'mon, it won't hurt. . .I can get my hand to the bottom of a Pringles can."
60- "Errr…You mean the candles aren't just for dripping wax…?"
61- "This album really does have a strange effect on you. . ."
62- "Oh, so THAT'S why people don't like black sheets very much..."
63- "What?!? Mustard stains PVC?! NOW what am I supposed to wear out tonight!?"
64- "Honey, get the crucifix out of the bed. I need to change the sheets."
65- "If I died now my life would be complete."
66- "It's no good, I'm gonna have to take the sunglasses off. I can't see a damn thing."
67- "Yuck! I hope you're gonna clean that up."
68- "I was going to blindfold you but I didn't want to smudge your eye makeup."
69- (After your partner has spent 10 minutes attaching you to the bed) "I think I need to go to the bathroom."
70- (thud) "Ouch, I thought the bed was wider than that."
71- "OUCH, I hope you cleaned your teeth before you did that."
72- "You taste weird."
73- "You want me to wear that?!?! NEVER. Oh, okay then, pass it here."
74- "Shit, I dropped the TV remote again."
75- "If you hit me with that inflatable banana one more time......."
76- "Either you are lying on the remote control or there's something wrong with the stereo."
77- "You are SOOO Evil."
78- "Eeek! That was too nice...Do it again!!"
79- (when getting dressed) "Is that your skirt or mine?"
80- "Slower!! If we sweat our make-up will run."
81- "Wouldn't you rather just go dancing?"
82- "Can't we face the mirror??"
83- "Is there room for both our egos in the same bed?"
84- "If you pour the wine all over me, what will we drink later?"
85- "Don't get that candle anywhere NEAR my hair!!!!!"
86- "You want to put your pet snake WHERE?!?"
87- "Wow, Your teeth are SOO sharp."
88- "I can only feel it when I smile!!"
89- 1st person: "You got black lipstick ALL OVER MY NECK!!!!"
2nd person: "YOU got black lipstick all over MY neck!!!!"
90- "My hair is stuck in your chains.....and I'm not telling you what part of my body the hair is on!!" *cough*
91- "Ouch, ouch, ouch….no don`t stop!!"
92- "That's not EXACTLY what I meant by nail me to the mattress." :)
93- "I can't believe it, you've broken my whip!!!"
94- "Your sister was better."
95- "Is that your blood or mine?"
96- "Tttoouch me, I want to feel diiirrrtyyy!" (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)
97- "Ugh! You got blood all over my coffin!!"
98- "Damnit! Our genital rings are stuck again!!"
99- "Wait…I thought you were a girl!!"
100- "Oh! I thought you were a girl. Oh no, I don't mind..."
101- "Stop!! It's my turn to be tied up."
102- "I'm sorry, I think the battery's dead."
103- "I want blood!" (childish whine)
104- "What if I took your blood without asking?"
105- "Wait! My rings are tangled in your hair!"
106- "*Someone* needs to get their nails trimmed!"
"No way, I sharpen them on purpose!"
107- "I can't find my labia ring!! You didn't swallow it?"
108- "Will you do anything I say? Slap me!"
109- "Shhhhh! I think I saw some headlights past that grave!"
110- "Damn, there's nowhere to attach the handcuffs to in this coffin of yours."
111- "No, Not in my hair."
112- "Look, if I turn like this and you put your foot there I think can unhook my eyebrow piercing from your clit ring...OW!! Let's go again."
113- "Hurt me...Hurt me...But only a little bit...O.K?"
114- "Where is all that blood coming from?"
115- (sexy voice) "Where do you Want me to put that...Collar?"
116- (chant) "Elbow sex elbow sex elbow sex elbow sex…" (Riff Raff and Magenta get it on)
117- "What's that black stain on my leg? Did you use Manic Panic on your roots AGAIN?!"
118- (priest and a Catholic girl kneeling in prayer) "Forgive me Father for I have sinned…"
