Please Tell Me You Didn't Eat That
part of this is like, a true story except for the suspension part and the very last part. BUt I think it's all true...
Matropolis was trying to stare down the ‘surprise lunch.’ That’s what is was called. IT was sloppy, bumpy, wet, soggy, and whatever it was Matropolis had a feeling it had a mind of it’s own.
“Just eat it and stop looking at it,” Jemima half ordered.
Matty poked it again. She thought she saw it wiggle
“Come on, it’s just the surprise. We get it every Monday.”
“Yeah, a surprise you can eat it.”
“I hate Mondays,” Mark grumbled, poking his lunch.
“Tell me about it. I always get in trouble on Mondays.”
“Matty, you always get in trouble,” Travie noted, who was downing the lunch even though she felt nauseous.
“Did you do your Math?” Matty asked.
“No.”
“Then shut the heck up.” Travie shrugged and started eating the slop again.
“I feel like Oliver in that one book…” Mark began. “What was it called again?”
“Oliver. The book was called Oliver Twist,” Matty said boredly.
“Right. Anyway, I feel like him when they fed him that stick icky stuff in the orphanage.”
“Yeah right. I’m not asking for some more,” Matty mumbled.
Etcetra put her tray next to Travie’s.
“What is that?” Trav asked pointing to Etcetra’s lunch, which was supposedly frog-eye salad (which has little barley bits in it that look like frog eyes).
“Frog-eye salad. You know, with the barley pieces?”
“I have to go to the bathroom,” Mungojerrie said walking over to the garbage can to dump his tray.
Etcetra poked her foot. Juice spurted from it. “Ew! I am not eating this!” she declared.
“Jeez, you’d think there’s a real frog in there,” Electra said.
Rumpelteazer giggled.
Suddenly, a big brown toad jumped out of the salad bowl and hopped out of the alleyway.
“I hope you didn’t get his eye,” Matty said calmly, though a little more awake. Etcetra was deep breathing and nearly dying from shock.
“That is so nasty!” Etcy declared.
“Yeah.” They all stared at the Salad for a long time, and before they new it, the bell rang.
“Time to go,” Rumpelteazer said, who had been extremely fascinated as they discovered that the big brown escape toad was definetly dealing with a cycloptic vision.
That night, Matty insisted Alonzo tell her about the time he and Plato had caught a bushel of frogs and set them loose in the school.
“Those were the days I was a trouble-maker,” Alonzo grinned. Alonzo pushed Matty gently off his lap. “Come on now. Bed.”
“MATTY! Wake up!” Alonzo’s voice rang in. Matty’s eyes fluttered. There was no sun in the winter, but Matty new she had to get up.
“You’re makin gme go back to that wretched school that had frogs in their food?”
“Yes. Come on!” he said, obviously not believing her.
She pulled herself out of bed then dragged herself downstairs. Jemima, Sillabub, Mezoa, Cliffy, Chewie, Quaxo and Alonzo were ready to go when she got down stairs.
She got all he rstuff together and then hurried with her sibling off to school. Mistoffelees, the genius who had already graduated school didn’t have to come. Matty felt that he was the lucky one...
Lunch was looking a little better.
“See, today is just hotdogs,” Jemima said.
“So you don’t have to fool with them ,you can just eat them with no complaints.”
Matty gave no reply.
“You know they’re made of pig intestines?”
“Pouncival, please!” Jemima snapped. “Really Pouncival, you drive me nuts.”
“My life’s goal, my dear.”
Jemima sighed and continued through the lunch line. Pouncival grinned and winked at his friends.
They sat down and Matty just glared at her lunch of hotdogs and buns and a carton of warm milk.
Mark looked at it for a coupled seconds, then popped into his mouth. He made a horrible face, but contined eating anyway. “It’s really nasty. But it could be worse.”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t be surprise if a pig’s anatomy jumped at you.”
“Matty…” Jemima groaned. She had been eating with no complaints, but obviosuly wasn’t enjoying it.
Etcetra poked at the hotdog with her claw, half expecting it to scream. But it didn’t. It’s just rolled over. Etcetra picked up carefully and started to munch on it. Shegot a horrible look, but she pushed it down, just as Mark had done.
Now, Electra, who was sitting in between Matty and her hotdog, was attempting to put under Pouncival as he sit down. He did.
How unfortunate for Electra that it flew outf rom under him and popped her in the forehead, then sailed across the alleyway, never to be seen again.
This made Matty’s ears perk up as though she had heard someone threaten to kill her.
“Hey Etcy, let me have one of your hotdogs.”
“Gladly.” Etcetra handed Matty one of her hotdogs. Matty shot it directly into the table at an angle. It popped back up and whacked Jemima in the nose, who had been concetrating on her lunch, and was ignoring whatever was going on.
“Hey!” Jemima looked up.
Matty let out a short but loud giggle.
“What’ in Everlasting Cat’s name is wrong with you?”
“Nobody knows,” Electra said mysteriously. Matty elbowed her.
“I was just testing.” She giggled again. “I just wanted to see if it really bounced.
“Well, it really does,” Jemima snapped, hoping that would end the conversation. It didn’t.
“Don’t you know what this means?” Matty exclaimed.
All the kittens, Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer looked at her. Jemima rolled her eyes.
“Its rubber!” The kittens gasped.
“Oh brother.”
“I’m serious! Hotdogs aren’t suppose to bounce!”
“How do you know?” Jemima said.
“Please. I’m Matty, after all.” The kittens nodded in agreement.
“Oy,” Mungojerrie began. “Oy say ‘at ‘ey would make awfu’ good am’unit’on.”
After a moment of thought, they realized he was suggesting that they shoot hotdogs all over the place. They grinned and nodded.
“Oh no,” Jemima protested. “Not that.”
Rumpelteazer nodded and grinned. “Come on Jemmie. It’ll be lotta fun.”
“Well…”
“Jemima. Where’s the kitten in ya?” Pouncival nudged her.
“Well…” she repeated. A grin spread across her face. “Let’s do it!”
They all ran back up to the line to retreive more hotdogs. The lunchqueens were very pleased to see that they were so hungry. They made no note that the kittens suspiciously askin gofr more nutritious goodness were the regulars in detention hall, usually playing up to some prank.
One queen said to another, “I wonder why they suddenly want to eat so healthily?”
The other answered, “It doesn’t matter. For once, the troublemakers are going something right…” they looked at each other as she trailed off.
“THE TROUBLEMAKERS!!!” they smacked there foreheads. They knew the mistake they had just made.
“Maybe they just decided to eat something healthy,” the optimist suggested.
“Yeah. I’m in no doubt that they eat healthy foods. But I am in doubt that they’ll eat that much health.”
Mungojerrie set up some silverware: forks and spoons. He put little pieces of hotdogs on the silverware.
“Ready… SHOOT!” they all hit the other end of their caterpault. The hotdogs pieces when flinging, bounces everywhere, hitting people. Matty poked one and it popped Etcetra in the eye.
Soon, the room was full of flying hotdogs. And so, the great, well-known kitten’s Battle of the Hotdogs began and ended withing 24 minutes, Mark counting to the last second.
“Anyone seen the Guiness Book of World Records?” Mark called.
When lunch monitor, Cassandra Burls—that’s right—the well-known siamese or not-so-siamese cat Cassandra—stopped the war.
“You guys, you’re acting like kittens!”
“You serious?” Matty shouted.
“I’m writing you up for a detention!”
“Make it two. I love to spend time with my boys Mark and Mungojerrie,” she grinned.
“They’re written up too.”
“Mustn’t forget Alonzo o’er there… Tumblebrutus… Bearicaide…”
“They’re all written up!” Cassandra shouted. Soon everyone was rooting for Matty, calling off names that she thought deserved detention.
“MATROPOLIS!!! ONE 5-DAY SUSPENSION!!!” Matty shut up and sat down. Everyone was quiet as they dumped there lunch. Ashamed and sorry for Matty, they shook her paw on the way outside.
“It’s not that bad,” Big Kat said. “It really can be fun.” But Big Kat had been suspended 22 times and counting, each time at lease two days. Big Kat became friends with suspension. Since he was suspended so much he became used to sitting at home in the alleyway, more domestic every day.
“Thanks,” Matty said.
“You tried,” Mark patted her. “I sorry.” Matty nodded. “Besides the fact that Munksutrap wil murder you, it’ll all be okay.”
As Matty left the school, she noticed several dogs pullin gup a helpless rubber tree.
“Hey!” she shouted to them. “What’s that for?”
“Hotdogs.”
Matty nearly barfed right there. “You mean…?”
The dog nodded.
Matty new there was something foggy about the hotdogs. But never did she think…
