~APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER~
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician.
1. What is your name, age, social insurance/security number, IQ and boy scout rank?
If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.
8. In fifty words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
Note: If answer to last question begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.
16. What do you want to be IF you grow up?________________
I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant______________________________
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
Parent's Page/
Things I've Learned/
My Mother Taught Me/
Moving In With Son/
Before I Was A Mom/
Just a Mother?/
Mom's Dictionary/
When God Made Moms/
A Teenager Is/
A Touch of Love/
Couch Findings/
Newspaper Ad/
2. Do you have one male and one female parent?____ If "No", explain:
3. Do you own or have access to a van?____
4. A truck with oversize tires?____
5. Waterbed?____
6. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?____
7. Do you have a tattoo?____
9. In fifty words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?
10. In fifty words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
11. In fifty words or less, what does REAL PAIN mean to you?
12. Church/Temple you attend:_________________________
13. How often do you attend:________________________
14. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi?________________
15. Please fill in the blanks:
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my_______________
If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my____________________
A woman's place is in the____________________
The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is__________________
When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is____________________
Signature of father_________________________________
Signature of mother_________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi_______________________________
Signature of Prov/State Representative______________
