Chapter Thirty-Two
I know that I said this was going to be two chapters, but there was a slight change of plans. They were both around six pages, and since my chapters are usually around ten (or at least eight), I just put both together. So, instead, you get a longer chapter, and then the epilogue. There was a slight change about what was supposed to be written, too. No big deal, though. It'll explain more in the epilogue. Enjoy and let me know what you think!
Brooklyn looked down in shock as his lips just brushed against her knuckles and she quickly jerked her hand away, tucking it under her arm. "Fine. Talk. I'm waiting." Her foot tapped on the ground, but neither one noticed as the water splashed up to hit their legs. Their pant legs were so wet at the moment, a little more water couldn't hurt them.
"I...can't we go over to the stairs and sit down?" he asked, looking at her carefully. "We're completely soaked as it is, and you're shivering, Brooklyn. You've...your teeth are chattering. The least we can do is go somewhere so that you can warm up."
Her head shook stubbornly. "No way. You want to talk, so talk. Right where we are."
His sigh was one of frustration. "Brooklyn, you're freezing. Your lips are practically turning blue." Oh, shit. Oh, shit, his mind kept repeating. Let her know that you were looking there. Uh huh. She's going to love that one, isn't she? "And I'm not going to let you go in the house without me, because I KNOW that you won't come back out then. I'm not that stupid."
"At least we agree on the fact that you are stupid to a degree," she said automatically, looking down at her nails. She had to think of something other than him, even if it was only for a few seconds. Why wasn't anything coming to mind? "JC, if you're going to keep this up, then I'm gone. I'm not going to stand out here in the rain and listen to you talk about the fact that I could or could not be cold. My God, you are so infuriating sometimes."
While she was talking, he had started to shrug off the waterproof jacket that he was wearing, and it dangled from one hand as he held it out towards her. "Here, at least put this on. The lining of your coat is soaked through already." His voice was soft and caring, just like how it had been when they had still been together. And that lasted a long time, didn't it, Brooklyn said to herself. Her head shook again. "Would you just put on the damned jacket already?" he exploded, the anger starting to seep into his voice.
"I don't want it," she said, slowing her words to get her point across. It obviously didn't make it towards him, because he leaned forward and wrapped the jacket around her shoulders. "I told you that I didn't-"
"Put your arms through the sleeves, Brooklyn. I'm not going to fight with you over this. Just put the coat ALL THE WAY ON, or I'm going to put it on for you." Her eyes came up, and when she saw his expression (and saw that he was deadly serious), she sighed and pushed her arms through, zipping it up. The coat went down to her knees, and the sleeves went past her finger tips. "Well, at least I know you're going to be warm. What I wouldn't give for a camera right now," he said, rubbing his forehead as he looked at her. He tried desperately not to laugh, and luckily, it was working.
A frown appeared on her face as she stood there. "You do know that you're going to end up wet and cold now." He nodded. "Great, just as long as we're clear on that," she added sarcastically. "I don't know what you can actually say, anyway. I mean, I heard the whole story in California. So, what, you're lying to your lawyer, too, now? Some deep dark secret about another deal that you made with the asshole of the century...oh, wait, sorry that's your new nickname."
He crossed his arms and looked away. "I told the whole story there, Brooklyn. I said everything that happened, and I said it all truthfully, but it sounded so...clinical. They didn't care about how I was feeling when I made the deal, or when I listened to the phone calls or anything. They don't care about feelings; they care about facts. I just...wanted to set the record straight with you about how I felt about all of this. That's all."
Her eyes rolled. "Let me guess," she said, pulling one of her hands out of the sleeve and playing with the zipper of one of the pockets. "You feel absolutely heartbroken, don't you? Tell me another one. I don't want to hear it. I'm not going to stand here and listen to more lies."
"I never...please, just give me this time to tell you. YOU know the facts, but you don't know the feelings behind it. You can't know the whole story until you know all of that. Is that all right?" Why did he have to ask for permission, he wondered. He shouldn't have to, but he did. That was the only way to get all of this out. He knew that much. Brooklyn was as stubborn as ever, and he had to find some way for her to listen to what he wanted to say, not what she wanted to hear. And JC was sure that those two weren't one and the same.
"Why do I think that I'm going to regret all of this?" she asked herself quietly. "Fine, talk. Tell me. I really don't care anymore, JC. You've broken me down once before, I guess you can do it one more time. It won't hurt as much this time." Her tone was so dead that he almost shuddered. That wasn't right. No, it wasn't right at all.
Taking a deep breath, he bit his lip. "I never tried to do that before, and I never will, Brooklyn. You should know that."
She was holding back all the anger that she could. It wouldn't help for her to get angry, she realized that now. If she pretended that she was willing to listen, he would leave sooner, and then she could go back on with her life. Why didn't she think of this before, she wondered. This was the only way to get passed all of this. Just pretend that you want to hear this, and then he'll leave. You can force him to leave, if you have to, but just listen. Just listen. Her head nodded with her thoughts. "Just tell me, JC. I'm getting tired of talking in circles here, and I don't have the energy to do it anymore."
His head raised upwards, and he closed his eyes so that none of the rain would fall in them. He had to think, and he had to think fast of where to start. No more lies. This was nothing but the truth now. The truth was scaring him more than it should have. "All right. Do you remember the day that you said that you wanted to go and see Tim? The day that you got the ring again and..." He trailed off, and looked back down, seeing her nod. "That night...Brooklyn, you don't know how much you scared me that night. I don't know if it was foolish or not, but for some reason, I could feel you pulling away from me, and I thought that...that if you went to go see him, that would be it." His head shook. "You once said yourself that the feelings you had for him would never come back, but how could I believe that? I know that you said it, but I couldn't...I couldn't let that happen."
"So that's why you went to go see him? Because you were jealous? My dear Lord, I can't believe this. You have GOT to be kidding me," she said in a disbelieving tone. "Basically, this was some sort of clever ploy to get me to stay with you? I'll have you know that I wasn't pulling away from you AT ALL. If anything, that brought me closer to you. You really ARE stupid, aren't you?"
"Can we at least stop the name calling until I'm done?" he asked quietly, sighing. "That's not what I'm...you might have thought that it brought us closer, but Brooklyn, you were so...detached for awhile. And I didn't like it, because it wasn't you. It wasn't the Brooklyn Turner that I knew. It scared me to see you like that. You wouldn't listen to me when I asked you not to."
Her hand came out and shoved him slightly. She couldn't help it. Her anger was coming back, and as strong as ever. "Excuse me, Tarzan, but I'm a free person. You can't tell me what to do. If I would have known that you were going to try and be as dominating as he was, then I never would have gotten involved with you."
"That's not what I'm trying to say! Are you purposely twisting my words around? What I'm TRYING to tell you is that I asked you not to go because I was scared for YOU. Not myself. You, Brooklyn. My world practically revolved around you, and you were the only person that I could think of at the moment, all right? So, I'm sorry for trying to protect you, but you have to admit that it's the exact same thing that Austin or Mia would have said. I had to practically hold back Austin when I told him what you were thinking of doing."
Her eyes widened as much as possible again and she stared at him for a moment, incredulous. "What...you...how DARE you. You went behind my back AGAIN and told my brother what I was going to do. Where the hell did you get that idea from? That had nothing to do with him. It had nothing to do with you. It was between me and Tim. No one else, so why did you have to get involved?"
He shook his head and blinked his eyes a few times. "I didn't want to, but I had no choice. I was living up to that promise that I made you all that time ago. I said nothing was going to hurt you, and I KNEW that Tim would hurt you if you went to see him. That is why I went instead of you. Do you understand now? I was just trying to do what I told you I was going to do. What's so wrong with that?" When he looked back at her, he saw tears gathering in her green eyes. He just didn't know what emotion stemmed the tears, and there were so many emotions flying through the air between them at the moment that there was no way that he would be able to figure out which ones. "When I saw the hurt in your eyes, when I saw how scared you were...I had to do something. I knew...knew that you were going to be mad at me for going to see him, so I kept it a secret."
His shoulders moved in a shrug. "I don't know. Maybe I had some idea of being the knight in shining armor and fixing the problem. Maybe it was just my need to protect you, but I do know that I felt so helpless. There was nothing that I could do, I thought. And then I found something that I could do, even though I knew that you wouldn't like it. Mia and Austin warned me about the fact that you wouldn't be too crazy about me after I went there, but I had to. I couldn't just sit around, just thinking about what you were going through, when there was something that I could actually do. I just never thought that it would get this involved."
"What did you think was going to happen? You knew what Tim was like," she whispered in a broken voice. One tear rolled down her face, but she didn't move or even flinch when JC leaned forward and wiped it away. That was a start, wasn't it? It was small, but it was a start. He half expected to see her hand come flying out towards his face again, but it stayed by her side. "You knew exactly what he was like, so don't tell me that you didn't."
He had never thought of that when the idea had come into his head, had he? That thought never even came near him. He did know what Tim was like, but he didn't think that he would still be like that. JC knew that it was going to be difficult to get him to agree, but going as far as he did...that was something that he had never expected. "You're right, I did know what he was like. I'm one of those people that believe with time, people can change. Maybe that's what I thought. Maybe I wasn't thinking at all. It was a quick decision. I didn't put much thought into it. I just knew that I had to do it and keep you away from him." His head shook, and his wet hair fell in front of his eye, but he didn't move it. "It's hard for me to give you the answers that you want, because you're asking me things that I never thought about. I'm not going to be able to answer all of your questions. I'm sorry."
She bit her bottom lip and held back her sigh. She was wishing that he would move that hair from in front of his eye. It gave him a boyish appearance, and although she didn't want to admit it, it was drawing her back in. Brooklyn wasn't going to move it for him, she wasn't going to mention it, but she didn't want it there. "I can't...for some reason...JC, you're always the type of person that thinks before you do something. I know you well enough to know that. You're a thinker, and a planner. You never just do something big spontaneously. The small things, yeah, you have no problem with that, but the big things...the important things...are you telling me that you honestly didn't think about it? That it never entered your mind at all, because I find that a little hard to believe."
"I'm serious, Brooklyn. I never thought about it. I was only concerned with you. It sounds like I'm putting the blame on you-"
"It does," she interrupted.
"But I'm not. What I'm saying is that I was so involved with you that I...the only thing that I could focus on was making sure that it worked out between us, because that's all I wanted. I never once thought about what Tim could do. He could have changed. I didn't know, but I should have known better. I will admit to that. I'm not saying that I'm the smartest person on the face of the Earth, but give me a little credit, Brooklyn. It must have sounded, even a little bit, like a good idea. Put yourself in my shoes, and think about it."
She tried. Lord knows that she tried, but she was blinded by her anger, and she knew that. "I'm sorry. I can't," she told him truthfully. "I just can't."
His head moved in a nod. "I can deal with that for the moment, I guess. One day, you might be able to, and then you might be able to see where I'm coming from. Protecting you, making sure that you were all right...that was all that mattered to me. You have to believe me when I say that. New York, you just have to."
Brooklyn caught the fact that he called her by his nickname for her, this time, but she didn't comment on it. Let him have his say, let him do as he wants, and then make him leave. But he was making so much sense, even if the sentences weren't coming out in the right order, or he was jumping from place to place. It was still making sense, and she didn't want it to. "I...Lord, I'm going to kick myself for this in the morning, but yes, I do believe that much. I know because...because...if our positions were reversed...I would have done the same thing," she said so quietly that JC could barely hear it over the rain and occasional rumble of thunder.
He winced when he felt a rain drop fall down the neck of his shirt, onto his bare back, and pulled at the back of his shirt for a moment, but it was useless. It was already soaked through, and pretty well stuck to him.
The movement didn't pass Brooklyn by. She watched as he pulled at the back of the neck of the dark blue tee shirt, and she certainly didn't miss the way that it tightened and hugged every little dip and curve of his chest and stomach. Her eyes widened slightly, but she couldn't move them from where they were, and unconsciously, she licked her lips. Maybe they should go inside, she thought. Then, she wouldn't have to look at the pseudo wet tee shirt contest in her driveway that only had one participant.
JC looked over at her curiously, surprised that she wasn't saying anything, or even moving. "Brooklyn? Are you...okay?"
Almost like she had been burnt, she took a few quick steps backwards and turned away. "I'm fine," she said, her voice taking on an almost dreamy tone. "I'm per...perfectly fine." Clearing her throat, she closed her eyes and turned back. "You were going to say something before. What was it?"
"I was going to ask you if you were serious."
She nodded silently before she could find her voice. "Yes, I was. I understand that much, but I don't understand the rest. To tell you the truth, I understood that from the very beginning. What I don't understand is why we're doing this and going over what we already know. Come on, JC. Give me something new or I'm leaving you out here. I need to hear something that I don't know." Her head shook and her eyes landed on his again. "And don't think that if you give me some sort of sob story that I'm all of a sudden going to let you back into my life. That isn't the way that this works."
Raising his hands, he ran them through his wet hair, finally moving that one piece that was in front of his eye. Now he looked halfway normal. No, she reminded herself. Now he looks like he just got out of the shower, and that's not a good thing. "Brooklyn, now YOU are the one that's going over stuff that we already know. You told me that this wouldn't be a way to get back into your life and I understand that. Give me a little credit here, please. I'm not stupid. I just...want to set the record straight. Is that so wrong?"
"We're bordering on a fight. Say something, but make sure it has to do with your little story. Please." Now it was her voice that had the pleading tone. He was wearing her down, little by little. He could see that, and that was what he was going for.
"I'm sorry. I never meant for it to go this far. I didn't think that it would go this far. I figured...that I could just fix it all after doing that, going to see him, I mean. I don't think it even registered that I was doing something that could hurt you, or...it was never supposed to go this way, Brooklyn. You know, I was just supposed to go there, ask him to stop, and it would be over. But it was. He pulled me into this little game of his without me even knowing it.
"When I had to...that night..." Why couldn't he just say the words. They weren't that hard to form, were they? It was a very simple thing to say.
Her arms crossed, and she looked down at her feet. "Don't you mean to say 'the night of the wedding, when you broke up with me', or was it something else?" she asked in a whisper, refusing to look at him. He heard her sniffle lightly, but it was so hard to tell if she was actually crying or not. Each raindrop near her face could be a tear. And because she wouldn't look at him, it was even harder.
He let his eyes go downward, and he stared at the ground as his head moved in a nod. "Yeah, that," he said dully. "That night, my God, that was probably the hardest thing that I had ever had to do in my life. I don't think...Brooklyn, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but it's the truth. I knew that I was going to have to. Tim told me that there would be someone watching us, and I knew...I had to make it look good. I had to make it look real."
There was a moment of silence, and just when JC went to open his mouth to talk again, Brooklyn filled in the quiet moment with a mini explosion. "Wait just a God damned MINUTE!" she said, her voice getting louder with every word before it reached the screaming level. "Are you saying that you had to make it look good? So, what...was I supposed to be informed that this was nothing but your idea of a Broadway play? It was fake? Since when. I don't know about you, but every single tear I cried that night was real. Justin was real when he came out to see me. The bracelet and necklace were real when I threw them down at your feet. The way that my heart took a beating, the way my SOUL took a beating...well, damn! I must be the best actress in the world, then, because I had no CLUE that you were just acting. Silly me." Her sarcasm was so thick that he could have cut it with a knife.
For a moment, her words hung in the air. Every little syllable that she had directed to him pushed another knife into his heart. No matter what he said, she was going to be defensive, and he should have known that by now. That should have been obvious, just like how it should have been obvious that Tim had something up his sleeve. But no. He seemed to be going blind lately. There were so many things that he should have seen or known, and they just passed him by. Then again, he never said that he was the smartest person on the face of the Earth, and that much was true. "No, that's not what I meant. Or was it? I don't know. You've got me so confused at this point...I'm just not sure." For a moment, he took to pacing. It was the only thing that he could do at this point. The only thing that she couldn't get mad at him for.
Or could she? Knowing her, he reasoned, she would probably complain about the pavement, or he was making her dizzy. ANYTHING that she could use against him at this point was great for her side, horrible for his. His head shook a few times, and he muttered to himself as he tried to find the words that he was looking for. In the midst of all of that, he reached down and pulled off the tee shirt that he was wearing, throwing it across the hood of the jeep. When it was wet, it was too constricting, and he had a feeling that before the night was over, he would have a block a few blows from her. He just wanted to be prepared.
But she was shocked. Again, her eyes widened. Very rarely, she had seen him shirtless, and on those occasions, she had remembered every little move, every little sound, every little word that was spoken between the two of them. Now all of those times came flying back to her mind, and she had to re-live every single one before she could speak. "Are you crazy?" she asked in a hoarse voice. "You're going to end up sick if you don't put a shirt on."
"A wet tee shirt won't exactly help, and besides, I never knew that you were concerned, Brooklyn. Are you concerned?" His head raised, and he paused for a moment to watch her.
Her hands nervously twisted together, and he couldn't help smiling when he saw her feet shuffle back and forth in a puddle. "Uh...just an old habit, I guess. Get sick for all I care. Maybe then I'll get you out of my hair."
JC turned to face her fully, and his head cocked to the side as he continued to look at her. "Funny choice of words, New York. That's one of the things that I missed most over the past few days. You know, the way that I used to play with your hair. I always loved it. I've told you that before, haven't I?"
"Yes, you have, and please don't call me that." She wasn't demanding anymore. She was asking nicely, almost politely. Her hands came up and she went to push back her hair from her face before she froze, thinking of what he had just said. Her hands slammed back down, and she looked away, diverting her green eyes back to the ground.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. She almost shivered when she heard his tone lower so far. That always affected her, even when she didn't want it to, like now. "I didn't realize that it would affect you that much. I won't call you that again." Unless you tell me to, he thought, but never said.
Her head came back up and with it, so did her courage and fiery temper. She never had a short fuse, but he had found the right buttons to push, and he was just beginning to learn what she was really like when she was mad. "Great. I'm glad," she said sarcastically. "JC, you're wasting my time right now. I could have told you that you would feel like crap over this. Anyone could have told you that. You've shown it to me every time you've shown me your face, but for some reason...I can tell that there something that you're not telling me. You might as well and just get it over with, because I don't know if I want to hear it sometime later."
Was she saying that he would be around her later on, he wondered as he took a deep breath. That didn't matter at the moment. There was something that he needed to tell her, and as trivial as it sounded, he had to say it. "When you were in the hospital. The coin toss. There's something that I never told you..." He trailed off.
"You lied to me about how it landed. Don't think that I'm an idiot."
His shocked eyes met hers. "Wait...how did you know? How come you never said anything?"
Very slowly, as if she was exaggerating the movement, her eyes rolled. "Oh, please. I didn't say anything, because at the time, I figured that we should give it another try. JC, you'd be surprised how well sound travels in a hospital when you're talking to yourself right outside my door. I was mad at first, but I figured that it happened for a reason. Now I see the truth."
"And the truth is?" He wanted to know. He NEEDED to know what she thought the truth was.
A smile started to grow on her lips, and along with it, her eyes regained some of their original sparkle. He felt like jumping for joy. This was what he had been waiting to hear. This was the moment where she forgave him and everything was fine. This was...but Brooklyn didn't play by the rules. She played by HER rules. "The truth is that I see why the coin landed the way it was supposed to. Obviously, someone up there thought that we shouldn't have attempted it again. They were right. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'm going inside. I think I've heard enough." As she was leaving, something popped into her mind and she turned around. "Oh, one more thing, since we've got this little mini truth session going on," she said with a smile.
"What?"
Her eyes went down for a moment before they met his head on. "Do you remember that day that you watched me in the studio, when I was singing Let Him Fly?" she asked softly. He nodded his head. He remembered that day very clearly. "I wasn't going to sing. I wasn't even going to give it a second try, but I was convinced to just come in and sit in the booth, and listen to the music. I didn't have to sing, but they wanted me to just listen. They also gave me a page of lyrics. I already knew the words to the song, from when I first picked out the song a few years ago, but never recorded it. And you know what, JC? Only one thing kept me going that day. Only ONE thing made me sing. And when I did sing, there was only one thing that I saw when I closed my eyes. I saw your face. YOU were the reason that the album came out. Every time that someone asked me, and I said that I did it for myself...that was a lie. I did it all because I wanted to make you proud. Put a smile on your face. Every single damned love song on that CD was because of you. I had those feelings back then, I just never wanted to act on them. So, there. You let me in on a secret, and I did the same thing. We're even now."
Slowly, she pushed off his jacket and tossed it at him with one hand, watching as he caught it. Turning on her heel, she started for the house again. "But...I thought..."
"Oh, did you want some kind of decision from me about whatever kind of relationship we could possibly have?" she asked, her hands on her hips. She didn't even bother turning to look at him. She couldn't, because that was when she knew she would break down and throw herself at him, want to make sure that everything was all right, and fix whatever wasn't. She wasn't going to allow that to happen.
"I was kind of thinking along those lines, yes," he said, the anger beginning to sound in his voice again.
Her shoulders moved in a shrug, and she turned her head to look at him. "Have your people call my people. Good night, JC."
"WAIT," he shouted. When she stopped and turned around, crossing her arms, he knew he had her full attention. "I probably won't get the chance to tell you this, so I might as well now." Licking his lips, he looked down. "You know the poem, the line that I used for the bracelet?" She nodded, looking away. "I just...I told you that I would give you the rest of it, but like I said, this is going to be my last chance, I guess."
She nodded again, but refused to look at him when she heard his voice fill the air, sounding so heartfelt and honest. Damn it she just wanted to run inside and ignore all of this. "Do more than exist- live. Do more than touch- feel. Do more than look- observe. Do more than read- absorb. Do more than hear- listen. Do more than listen- understand." Clearing his throat, he looked away. "If you can't figure that out...then there's no point in me hanging around anymore."
"You're right," she said. She knew exactly what he was telling her, but damned if she was going to listen. No, she just had to make him leave. That's all. "Like I said, JC, good night. Have a good life, and get the hell off my property before I call the police." With one final smirk, she walked up the stairs and unlocked the door, slamming it behind her.
Once she was inside, she leaned her wet head against the door and hugged herself, not caring that she was dripping all over the floor. "My God, you're one stupid woman, Brooklyn. Why can't you just take him back like you know you're supposed to? Do you have to make everything so difficult?" she asked herself, blowing a strand of hair away from her face.
Rolling over, she reached for the phone, lifting it up to her ear. "Hello, Turner residence," she said sleepily. Brooklyn forgot that she was supposed to let the answering machine screen her calls, or at least the Caller Identification box in the living room, so that she wouldn't talk to someone that she didn't want to. But no, she couldn't be that smart, could she?
"Morning, Brooke. How are you doing?" a cheerful voice asked on the other end.
She let out a sigh of relief and held the phone closer to her ear while she kept her eyes shut. It was too early to be up, and she should have known that the only person that would call that early would be her manager. "I'm doing...I don't know, Joe. I have no idea how I'm feeling. Actually, I'm quite cold. I never knew that it would get that cold over the night. And how are you on this fine, dreary and gray, rainy morning?"
Her head turned to the side as he laughed. "I'm doing all right. Did you happen to forget that you have a little engagement that you have to be at in a week and a half?"
Engagement. What a choice of words. Engagement meant a ring. A ring meant jewelry. Jewelry meant her necklace and bracelet, which, at the moment, were in the very bottom of her jewelry box, in the locked drawer that she rarely opened. Almost immediately, her eyes turned towards the wooden box on her desk, and she bit her lip. No, she wasn't going to let herself open the drawer and look at them. Not even that. "Well, apparently, I have. Then again, a lot has gone on in the past little while. What am I forgetting now?"
She could almost see his eyes rolling. "Remember? The American Music Awards. You're nominated for two, and I already said that you're going to be there. Brooke, come on. There can't be THAT much on your mind."
"Oh, yes, there can. Don't forget, I..." She was about to say that she had broken up with her boyfriend, but he didn't know. That made things even more complicated, she thought, as she ran through her mind for something to say. "My brother and best friend just got married. To each other. I'm moving Austin out of the house...I've got a lot on my mind, thank you very much."
"Well, you're going to the AMAs. I don't care what you say, Brooke," he said teasingly. "You haven't missed an awards show yet, so I figured that you didn't want to miss this one." Her head nodded against her pillow and her eyes finally opened. "Like I said, you have a week and a half, so do all your girlie stuff. I'll make sure that there's a way for you to get back and forth, and for the love of God, try to keep away from the reporters at this one. With Mia gone, no one really knows how to cover the publicity about you and your boy toy, so it would be best if you just ignored the reporters. We can't bring her back from her honeymoon."
She sighed. "Fine. I'll go down and see if I can find a dress today. I'm not in the mood, but if it makes you feel better, Joe..."
"It makes me feel a lot better. Thanks, sweetie. I'll talk to you in a few days." She hung up the phone and turned over onto her side, pushing down the comforter from her face, as her eyes went towards the window. For some reason, the rain had stopped sometime during the night. The black clouds were still in the sky, but there was a single beam of sunlight through the sky that seemed to brighten her world just a little. "Isn't that supposed to be lucky or something?" she asked herself as she pushed the covers off of her and placed her feet on the ground.
With a wince, she put her hands on her back and stretched, listening to it pop and snap. "Eh, I hate luck. That means nothing. Just because there's a bit of sunlight in a dead sky doesn't mean that something is going to happen. There sure as hell isn't sunlight in my life. I kicked him off of my property last night," she whispered, one finger trailing along the stitching on the top of the comforter. "I think you drove all the sunlight out of your life on purpose, Brooklyn. Bravo."
"You have got to be kidding me," JC whispered as he pulled at his tie, loosening it a little. At that point, it felt like a noose, ready to choke him. "Please tell me that you're kidding, Lance. I didn't hear that anywhere," he said, looking over at the person in the seat beside him.
Lance nodded and gestured towards the stage, where they were ready to start the opening number of the awards show. "I'm serious. I heard from quite a few people that Brooke is here. She's nominated for something like two awards, and..." He trailed off. He could keep one little secret to himself. Actually, he did it for pure selfish reasons. He wanted to see the reaction on both of their faces when they had to see each other. And they definitely would have to, if what he had heard was right.
"And what?" he asked, slamming one hand onto the arm rest beside him. Chris shot him a bad look, but didn't bother saying anything. For the past while, nothing passed between the two except for the good old silent treatment. Neither one of them had even uttered a sound towards one another. Hot looks was the only thing they communicated by. "There's something that you're not telling me. I can tell."
A smile appeared on his face and he pointed ahead of them. "I wonder who that could be that just took the seat in front of me. Hm...that golden brown hair looks very familiar," he said mischievously. JC widened his eyes and slipped down in his seat, just like he had tried in third grade when he didn't want to be noticed by the teacher because he had forgotten his homework. Please don't let her notice, he thought to himself. He PRAYED that she wouldn't notice him.
But he didn't get his wish, because Lance leaned forward and tapped on her shoulder, a few seconds before the opening act started. "Hey, Brooke. I heard that you were going to be here. You look great."
There was a slight pause and a stiffness that suddenly came into her bare shoulders before she turned and smiled. The blood, however, had drained out of her face. "Hi, neighbor," she said quietly, a smile of remembrance on her face. Remembrance at what, JC wondered as he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. All the past memories that they had together? That had to be it. "I didn't know that you were going to be here."
Lance was about to say something before the music started. Brooklyn smiled apologetically and turned back in her seat. JC leaned over and hit him hard on the arm. "Are you crazy?"
"I think you left a bruise," he complained, rubbing his arm. "Just because the two of you aren't getting along doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to talk to her. Damn it."
With a sigh, JC faced the front and pretended to watch the singer jumping around, barely noticing that it was Janet Jackson. "Why do I get the feeling that there's something more to this night, and that something might actually happen?" he asked himself, rubbing his eyes. Oh, this was ALL he needed.
As far back as Brooklyn could remember, she had never gone to an awards show alone. Never. She had always taken Austin with her, which eventually led to taking Lance, and finally, taking JC. Now, she was coming alone. That was the most important word in her vocabulary lately. Alone. And it did bother her that she came without an escort, or a date. She had no one to talk to, no one to laugh with...
And, of course, there was the problem behind her. Lance and JC she said seen. From the corner of her eye, she had seen Chris. There was no doubt that Justin and Joey were on the other side of Chris, but she would have had to turn the other way to see. They were all there, and they were all sitting RIGHT BEHIND HER. That hurt her more than she could ever imagine. Especially when Chris had turned his head and looked over at her for a split second. He looked...like she did.
That ever familiar dead look in the eyes. He wasn't showing any emotion whatsoever. Oh, she was sure that there were times when he threw himself into the role of Chris Kirkpatrick, the superstar. He probably acted normal then, but like it was for her and just like how it was for JC, it was all an act. God, how many people had she hurt over this stupid fight that she was involved in. One that she never wanted to start in the first place, and one that she wanted to end. It would be simple to end it, too, but...
She had created the dead look in his eyes, she had created the pain in JC's eyes. She had created the fight between the two of them. She had created this whole damned thing, and all because she was too stubborn to admit that JC had helped her. Because no one helped Brooklyn Turner. She did everything by herself, on her own time...but that wasn't true. She had opened up once, and asked for help. She had asked for help when it had come to JC and her growing feelings for him. She had asked for help, and where did it leave her?
Alone, in her bedroom, crying. Not just crying, but sobbing. All those times as a child that she had wished for a fairy tale ending, all those times that she believed in the story of Cinderella, and there was a Prince Charming waiting for her somewhere...she had finally learned that there was no such thing as a fantasy ending. There was no happily ever after. There was no glass slipper waiting for her, no prince to kiss her awake. There were no trumpets and fanfare for her. All she had were love songs that made her break into tears, and memories that invaded every single one of her thoughts.
Her eyes went down to her wrist, and she half expected to see the bracelet sitting there. She half expected to feel the cool silver of her necklace resting against her skin. But it wasn't there. What would be happening at this moment, she wondered, if she were wearing the jewelry. Most likely, she would be sitting beside JC, laughing with Chris, telling jokes with Joey, mouthing the words to the songs with Justin, talking music with Lance. It would be like nothing ever happened. And, even though it never happened, she missed it. She missed being included with them, and being part of the group. No one had accepted her as quickly as the five of them had, and she missed the bond that she had with them. She missed them, period.
But she was the only that had said goodbye. She had been the one to tell them that she was leaving. And she had thought that she was going to be all right. No one needed five guys to keep her alive, to keep her full of smiles and happiness. Maybe she did need it after all. She needed that little boost of energy that she always got from being around them. She needed that back in her life.
If there was a way for her to erase all the words that were said between them, she would be happy. If there was a way to erase all the feeling that had gone between them, she would be elated. But there was nothing that she could do. She created the monster, she just didn't know how to stop it. And there was always a way to stop a monster. In all the stories, in all the comic books, cartoons, fairy tales...there was a way to stop the monster. She just had to figure out what it was and if she could salvage everything in time. That was the biggest question on her mind. Could she salvage everything that they used to have, and make everyone forget about what had happened.
No, she couldn't change what had happened. But maybe....just maybe, she could make it better. She still had to find that magic elixir that would take down the monster, that would stop all of this from going any further. An idea started to form in her head, but she immediately tossed it aside. She wasn't going to play dirty. She was going to play by her rules. She just didn't know what those rules were yet.
It was hell being Brooklyn Turner, but she was hoping to change that, and bring the sunlight back into her life.
Not even the awards mattered to Brooklyn at this point. All she wanted was for some way to make everything better. To make everything right. None of the words would be forgotten, but she could help dim them a little from everyone's memories. And she had to take the first step.
Taking a deep breath, she crossed her fingers and prayed for luck before turning around, about to say something to any of them that would listen. Instead, she was greeted by five empty seats. Her brow furrowed, and she turned back around, trying to figure out where they had gone.
And there they were, all of a sudden. As if someone had heard her plea and made them appear. Only they were on stage, and she saw the familiar look of an envelope. And they were talking, introducing a category. Oh, dear Lord, she thought, as she sat back in her chair with a dismayed expression. They were announcing one of the categories that SHE was nominated for. All of the names and song titles sped right past as they read the nominees for single of the year. She was up for that award. She was up for it, with HER song, the one that meant so much to her.
The curious feeling of dread and apprehension overtook her as she watched Chris slit the seal on the envelope with his thumb, and her breath was suddenly stilled, her fingers crossed. No matter what, she always did this. After so many years in the business, and winning so many awards, she did the exact same thing every time...and she was doing it again.
When the winner's name was announced, she never heard it. It never made its way to her ears, and she never heard the song title. She couldn't even look at them. Instead, she looked down at her lap, her eyes wide with shock. Why would they be announcing this category, one of the two that she was nominated for? Did someone think it was cute to put her boyfriend...ex-boyfriend up there to say whether she won or lost? It had to have been some person's idea of a joke. God seemed to love making her look like a fool, and this was just another opportunity, wasn't it?
Her hands slowly unclenched, and she heard words being spoken to her from ahead. Her eyes immediately went to the stage, and she wondered why there was no one up there. Time seemed to have stopped, and suddenly, it started again as she looked their way. "Brooklyn, you won."
No, no, no. This can't be happening. This couldn't have happened, she thought to herself as she shakily stood up, one hand holding the back of her chair as she willed herself, forced herself to breathe in and out. This was nothing. Just a walk in the park. You've accepted many awards before, and you'll accept more in the future, but why does this one seem so different?
People stood, letting the country singer out of the aisle. Her hands lifted the full skirt of her dress slightly off the ground, and she made herself put one foot in front of the other to get to the stage. A man in a tuxedo, an escort, was waiting at the bottom of the stairs to help her up. She forced herself to breathe again. It wasn't coming naturally, she thought, as she smiled like she was expected to. Yet, her mind kept uttering the same thing over and over. Dear God, oh no. Dear God, oh no.
Even from where she was, not on the stage yet, she could see how JC and Chris had dropped the genuine smiles that had been on their face, and they had become strained. The other three were perfectly fine watching her, but those two...those two were forcing themselves to smile, as she was forcing herself to breathe. This wasn't right. This couldn't be happening. If she stopped to pinch herself, would she wake up and find it was all a dream? No, this was real. This wasn't fantasy. She couldn't ignore them.
She smiled towards the man as he took her hand and helped her up the small flight of stairs before releasing her and going back down. Now she had to do it on her own. She had practically let him lead her up, pull her along, but now...now it was all her show. Brooklyn had to make herself move, and fast, before anyone realized that there was something wrong.
Dimly, overhead, she could hear Let Him Fly being played, the single that she had chosen to be released. The one that had seemed to explode. She wondered if JC remembered the liner notes, and how she had dedicated the song to him. What she had said in there, and how she had thanked him. Nervously, she licked her lips as she came closer to them.
And just as slow as she had been moving then, time seemed to be on fast forward. Justin was the closest one to her, and instead of the usual, almost traditional, kiss on the cheek, maybe a handshake, most likely a hug, he reached down and wrapped his arms around her thin waist. She couldn't help but laugh as he picked her up and twirled her once. Her skirt billowed out around them as he put her back on the ground. Then, her excitement seemed to die.
Chris was the next one standing there. Chris, who had said those words to her. Chris, who she had said those words to. Chris, her best friend. The one who had helped her through everything and anything that happened in her life. The one that was always there with a shoulder for her to cry on, a sympathetic ear, thoughtful advice, and comments. The one who could make her laugh one minute and make her want to pull her hair out the next. There was no one like him in the world to her, and just like that, as if she had snapped her fingers, it was gone. HE was gone.
They did the traditional thing. A cold, impersonal kiss on the cheek. A quick, half hug before she was released and sent towards Joey. Her face melted into a smile again when she saw him, and again, she was picked up. She wasn't twirled this time, but her feet were a good few inches off the ground as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on for dear life. With a giggle to match his laugh, she released that she could feel every single chuckle that came from him, and it brought her a sense of peace. A sense of belonging.
Lance was waiting for his turn, and as soon as she was placed on the ground, he grabbed her. Now, she was twirled, and she could hear the crowd still cheering as he let her go with a final quick kiss on the forehead. Her eyes slowly raised and she found herself looking into the blue eyes that had captivated her for the past year. She couldn't see anger in them, but she could see hurt and pain. Hurt and pain that she had caused.
Very slowly, as if working on auto pilot, he reached down and wrapped his arms around her. She wasn't lifted, wasn't twirled, nothing. Instead, she leaned against him and closed her eyes, letting the sound of his beating heart overtake her. She felt...she felt normal, like she had before this whole thing had started. Everything seemed the same, yet it seemed like everything was happening for the first time. She knew the scent of his cologne, but it seemed like she had never smelt it before. She knew the feel of his skin, yet it was like she was feeling it for the first time. And his voice. Lord, that voice could still bring her to her knees, especially when he whispered. Even then, her knees were buckling, as he slowly and quietly said to her, "Congratulations, New York."
New York. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel pain when he called her that. No, she felt elation. That was HIS nickname for her, and no one had called her that before him or after him. She was his New York, and damn it, if she had her way, she was going to return as his New York once again.
The corners of her mouth lifted up in a soft smile, and she mouthed the words, "Thank you", before turning to take the trophy and face the microphone. It didn't matter now, what she said. What mattered was that she was going to make things better tonight. She was going to change them if she had the chance. Every little thing that had mattered before, didn't matter anymore, and she closed her eyes before speaking. She had two hours to figure it out, and damn it, she was going to use those two hours to her advantage.
Handling the press backstage had been no problem. Brooklyn had smiled, left questions unanswered, and talked in rounds. She had been perfectly trained by Mia to know what to answer, and what not to. She knew how to answer the way that they wanted, and how to answer their questions so that it seemed like they got what they wanted, but in reality, got nothing. She was a pro, and none of the reporters fazed her as she stepped into the media circuit.
And with one clever question, she managed to figure out what after party they were going to be at. She had been invited to almost all of them, and the one that they were attending was one that she had been asked to attend, as well. And she was going to.
So, why was she just standing in the entrance, looking around. Her eyes scoured every single surface of the room before she sighed and stepped in a little further. They weren't there, or if they were, she couldn't see them. Sometimes, it wasn't a lot of fun being short, she thought as she made her way through the throngs of people, accepting congratulations from them as if she did it every day. She made small talk as she made her way to the bar and ordered a glass of water, sipping at it carefully.
Where were they, she wondered. Could they have decided to go to another party? She wasn't going to chase after them all night to figure out where they had gone. She didn't have the energy to. They should be there, at that very party, living it up, since they had accepted two awards, beating out Brooklyn for one of them. They should have been there, dancing and drinking, laughing and talking. But they weren't.
She turned in shock when she heard her name said beside her, and very quickly, her puzzled expression became a smile. "Joey. How are you?" she asked sweetly, raising her voice above the music so that he could hear her. He looked so wonderful, so familiar at the moment, that she was almost flying.
And the smile on his face. It was so real, so much like she had remembered. It wasn't that long ago that she had seen him last, but it seemed like an eternity to her. Her fingers nervously splayed along the wet surface of her glass, and she cleared her throat, which suddenly closed up on her. "I've been doing fine, Brooke. What about you? You're looking pretty good."
Her eyes lowered. "I may look good, but I definitely don't feel that way. Did he...did he tell you?" she asked, her eyes raising to plead with him. All she wanted was for him to say something about it, something about that night. JC couldn't have kept it all to himself. He couldn't have just not said anything to anyone. Someone had to know the story, and she was betting that it was Joey. If there was a story to know, he knew it.
His eyes looked around the room for a moment, before he took her by the elbow and guided her gently and slowly away from all the people, towards one of the empty corners. She sat down thankfully in a plush chair, and looked towards him, putting her glass on the table for a moment. "He said some things about the night he went to your house, but not much. Most of it, he kept inside. All I know is that he went there, and then he left. That, and that the two of you had quite a bit to say to each other."
Her head shook, and she could immediately feel the tears raising in her eyes. Damn it, since when did she cry over every single little thing? This had to stop, she thought, and she willed herself not to cry. "I...I don't know how to say this," she said quietly. The music wasn't as loud where they were sitting, and she was thankful for that. It seemed to pound in her ears before, and it didn't help that she didn't know the song, or even like the genre. She would have been better to stick with the party that was going to one of the popular restaurants, where most of the country stars invited were going to party, but she had bowed out and decided to come here, all because of them.
Joey mistook her loss of words for something else. "Brooke, you know that just because you and JC aren't together, that doesn't mean that you and I can't-"
Brooklyn lifted her hand to stop him. She didn't want to hear the words, even though they would have brought her a little comfort. He was telling her that even though the two of them weren't together, she and Joey were still friends. She admired the fact that even though two of his best friends had big issues with her, he was still willing to talk to her. That meant a lot to her, and it showed what kind of person he really was. "That wasn't...wasn't what I was going to say, but thank you, just the same. I appreciate that more than you could ever know," she said, smiling again. It was a ghost of a smile. A ghost of HER smile. Nothing like it used to be, and it didn't feel right on her face. Her lips didn't feel right when they formed it. "I meant...meant to say that the night that we're talking about, and all the nights and days before that...I made a mistake, Joey. I never should have..." She was stuttering, she was losing focus...she wasn't Brooklyn. He could see that very easily.
"I don't know what to tell you, sweetie. I'm glad that you realize you made a mistake, and I've known all along that you did, but...what do you expect to do? You pushed him away three times, Brooklyn. He's not going to be waiting around forever, just like how you won't be, either."
She nodded, her mind racing. "I know that, Joey. The only thing is...I...Well, what I'm trying to say is that I..."
"You didn't mean it." A half smile started on his face, before it grew just a little bigger. "I know. We all know, except for JC. He took everything that you said seriously. He didn't see the look in your eyes when you said it. The rest of us did. What do you expect, though. you can tell him anything you want, but that doesn't mean that he's going to listen."
"He has to. I never should have pushed him away, but I was so mad. I never meant those words that I said, I never meant to just throw him out of my life, but...I did it anyway. I shouldn't have. I know that. I've known that from the very beginning, but I was just so mad that he would even think of doing something like that..."
He groaned and leaned back in his own chair, rolling his eyes. "Can't you get passed this point, Brooke? He did what he thought he had to do."
Reaching forward, she rested her hand against his. "No, listen to me. I was mad that he did it, because he put himself in the same danger that I had been in before. I knew what could happen, because I had to live it once. He didn't know what it was like, and I didn't want him to get hurt. It wasn't so much that he went behind my back, because I could deal with that if I had enough time, but the fact that he put himself in danger...that I don't understand. I could have handled it on my own. All I needed was to call my lawyer. He just decided to take the hard way, and he shouldn't have. He never should have been in that position. I've been beating myself up over that, because if it wasn't for me...he wouldn't have done that. That hurts me, to know that I caused all of this, but I need a chance, just one chance, at making everything right."
"He did it because he loves you. You'd think that that would be enough reason to forgive him if he made a mistake."
Her eyes widened when she heard that. "You know, not once have we actually said those words to each other, and there's probably a good reason for that. Believe me when I say that I love him with all my heart, and that's why I have to...I have to talk to him. Even if it's only for a few minutes. I know, I was stupid. He shouldn't take me back. The least I can do is let him know that I understand where he was coming from. Ten minutes at the most. That's all I need, Joey."
Why did he look so reluctant? Why did he look at her like she was making a mistake, she wondered. "That's...not tonight, Brooke. Let him enjoy the night, all right? You can talk to him tomorrow."
"I'm not going to be here TOMORROW," she cried. "I have to fly out to Seattle and get back on my tour. All of my stuff has been sent ahead of time, and I have a concert in two days. I can't wait. I have to do it tonight. Please." Now she was the one that was pleading, and it hurt. She had stood there and watched JC do the same, but it didn't affect her. Now, she was the only that had to beg for ten minutes with him, and now she understood how hard it was to do that.
"I...I don't know how to help you. I don't even know if I want to." He looked away for a moment, towards something...someone. She followed his gaze and almost broke down when she saw JC standing there, looking away from them, talking to Lance. "Brooke, you know that Chris isn't mad at you, right?"
Her eyes rolled. "I must have missed that memo, because he sure as hell looks like he's mad at me," she sighed, as she looked for him. He was looking at her, but not how she expected. "I made some big mistakes, Joey. I know that now, and I have to make them right. If I can't make them right, the least I can do is talk to them. BOTH of them, right? I never meant anything of what I said. Chris...he just made me so mad that day. I don't know why. Maybe...maybe because he would have told me. I know he would have. He hasn't kept anything from me yet, and neither has JC. Yes," she said, lifting her hand to stop him. "I know that they were trying to protect me, but sometimes, I can be so God damned stubborn and independent, that I won't admit when I need help. And I thought that I could take care of everything myself."
He smirked and crossed his arms. "It took something like this for you to learn about THAT? Wow, what were your grades in high school?" he asked sarcastically.
She picked up on it, but that didn't stop her from answering, almost deadpanned. "Pretty well high B's. I never was the perfect student. That doesn't matter, though, Joey. What matters is the fact that I need to talk to him. Please, just for a moment. I just...want to apologize. For what it's worth." Then, another idea popped into her head. It had worked once before, and it could work again. If she played her cards right, that was. "Or, if you're still worried about my intentions, send Chris to me first. I'll talk to him, and if I don't rip his head off, you'll know that it's safe for JC to come out and play, all right?"
He still looked reluctant, but less than before. Biting his lip, he looked around. "I guess. But I'm warning you, don't start a fight with Chris right now. He's not...hell, I'll come right out and say it. You'd be the one that would be missing a body part, not him." With that, he stood up, sighing again. "I can't believe I'm doing this. If Chris comes back without a scratch, bruise, contusion, broken or missing limb, or other...ahem...missing body parts...I'll send JC out to see you, but you have to understand that it's going to be a big struggle when I mention your name."
She nodded and stood up as well. Her arms looped around his neck, and she pressed her lips to his cheek. "Thank you, so much. I'll be outside on the..." She stopped and swallowed thickly. That word brought back bad memories. "On the balcony."
As soon as she walked away, Joey shook his head from side to side. "I must be CRAZY to even consider this."
Brooklyn paced along the marble looking balcony, her high heels clicking merrily against the floor. Reaching one hand up, she tucked her hair behind her ear and pushed her mouth to one side, wondering if she was going to be able to do this. She was crazy, she thought. She had to make both of them listen, and both of them were acting like three year old spoiled brats that always got their way. Then again, she had acted the same way.
She turned when she heard a shuffling sound behind her, and she covered her mouth with one hand to hide her laugh. "It took THAT much effort to get him out here? I don't know if I should be flattered or offended," she said, trying to keep her tone light.
Joey turned around, and Chris groaned when he saw her. "Be offended. Very VERY offended," he said before beating once on his back. "All right, you've had your usual display of brute force for the day. Can you put me down, Tarzan, because I sure as hell don't look like Jane."
He grunted and smacked his chest for emphasis before he let Chris slide off of his shoulder. "It's a damned good thing that those people in there are used to seeing us fool around and wrestle like this, otherwise there would be some major rumors floating around."
"Is your favorite color pink?" Chris asked him sarcastically, crossing his arms. Joey waved and started back towards the doors, warning him to be nice. For a moment, it was only the two of them standing there, looking at each other. They looked like they were ready to go to war, with their arms crossed, trying to keep their faces neutral. Suddenly, Chris started for the double doors, and almost got to them before they slammed shut, and a silhouette of a person was shown as he leaned against the thin coverings.
"Thank God for Joey," she murmured, before turning back to Chris. "Look, I just wanted to talk to you for a second. Do you think we can do that, without one or both of us throwing temper tantrums like last time?" she asked. He simply rolled his eyes. "Okay...then, I'll do the talking."
She put her foot up on a bench and hoisted herself up to the railing, settling herself down. If there was one thing that Chris always admired about her, it was the fact that she wasn't afraid to act like herself in a fancy place. She wasn't afraid to act her age, and manners seemed to be the second thing on her mind, though she was always polite and courteous. Of course, he wouldn't admit to it now, he thought to himself, as he watched her push down the skirt of her dress. When it was settled down, he looked away. "I thought we said everything we had to say that afternoon."
A wince appeared on her face, but he never saw it. "I...for a little while, I thought we did, too. The funny thing is, now I don't." When nothing but silence greeted her, she whistled under her breath. "Maybe it's not that funny, then."
"Oh, it's absolutely hilarious," he said, whirling around to look at her. "Can't you see me laughing right now?"
Her shoulders moved in a shrug. "My humor has been rather slow and dull lately. I can't imagine why," she said dryly, looking down at her hands. "What happened to us, Chris. I considered you to be my best friend, despite the little amount of time that we had known each other. So...what happened?"
A soft, but cold laugh sounded from him as his hands slammed down on the railing. She jumped when she heard the sound. "I don't know, Brooklyn. Maybe, and I'm going out on a limb here, but just maybe, it had something to do with that day in your hotel room when you turned around and attacked me."
"And then you did the same to me. The only thing was, I deserved it." She nodded along with her assessment. "You were right when you said that stuff to me, and you were right with all the names you called me. I did act like an...ungrateful bitch. That was what you said, wasn't it?"
His head moved in a nod. "Are we all of a sudden seeing the light? Dear Lord, she's been saved."
"Sarcasm isn't going to help this out any, and neither is name calling, so we might as well drop all pretenses right now. I just...you didn't deserve what I said to you, and you sure as hell didn't deserve the attitude that I gave you. I...I get mad when someone tries to help me, because I've always been too independent for my own good. Oh, not over the little things, but when it comes to something huge in my life, I have trouble admitting that I need help. And I did. You helped, I just couldn't see through my anger at the time. For what it's worth, Chris, I'm sorry."
Slowly, he smiled. But she didn't like the look of it, and she could just imagine what he was going to say now. "You...you think that your apology is worth something? Oh, God, this IS funny, because seriously, it doesn't mean anything to me." She sucked in her breath quickly. Was she stupid in thinking that she might actually be able to fix some of what had happened? Maybe she was, because she certainly wasn't affecting Chris any, unless you counted that she made him more mad than he had been before. "I think you were right that day. We should just leave what friendship we had in the past and move on, because..." He trailed off, but never finished what he was going to say.
Brooklyn waited long enough for him to say something...anything, to finish off his sentence, but he never did. "Because what, Chris? I'm completely lost here. There have been many times in the past few days that I've had people tell me that they don't know what to say. Now I'M the one that doesn't know what to say. Give me a hint towards what you want to hear, and I'll say it if it makes you feel better."
"How about leave me alone? Get the hell out of my life? Are these words sounding at ALL familiar to you?"
There was no doubt in her mind that he was going to pull this out as much as possible. "Yes, they sound very familiar. I KNOW that I was the one that said them, but I'm trying to get past that. I never...never meant to cause this much hurt or pain in anyone's life, let alone three people." Her head shook as soon as she said it. "No, more than six, because I know that the rest of the guys were affected by it, whether they said anything or not, and there are countless other people that were just as affected as you, me and JC. I'm just trying to make up for my mistakes. That's all."
His eyes rolled quickly. "Brooklyn, I've had friendship that have died out because of something that wasn't even near this multitude. What I don't get is WHY you would attack us for what we did. Like I told you, I never thought I could ever get involved in something like this. No one knew what was happening, and I got pulled in, unwillingly, may I add." She couldn't bear to look at him. Her eyes went down to her feet, and she watched as they swung back and forth. For some reason, the silver straps were incredibly interesting at the moment. "I didn't like it when I heard about it, but I promised that I wouldn't say anything, because...it shouldn't have come from me. As much as you don't want to admit it, you didn't want to hear the words from me."
A single tear ran down from her eye and landed on the material of her dress. "I also didn't want to hear it in front of a group of lawyers, and my friends, but I guess not everyone gets their wish."
"We were just trying to protect you, Brooke. Trying to protect you, and this is how you paid us back. Should I say thank you? I don't think that it was a hell of a thank you, but you never know, huh? At least, in your mind, we don't know, and we probably never will." Taking a breath, he turned to look past her, over the balcony. The faint sounds of reporters and fans outside was still carried towards them. "I'm not as mad as I sound, Brooklyn. I just...damn...I tried to do something, and it wasn't appreciated. I hate that feeling."
"I was blinded by anger. What can I say? I wasn't thinking straight, I know that much. I never would have exploded at you like that if I was thinking. I just...I felt betrayed. I was mad, because I thought that I left this part of my life a long time ago. It was supposed to be part of the past, not the future. I mean, I should have been scared for my life...but I didn't know that there was something for me to be scared over. And the fact that you and JC were being targeted, well, you in a way...that scared me more, because I didn't want that to happen to you. You shouldn't have been in the same position that I had been in before. It's not a great place to be, and it's not filled with the best feelings and thoughts." She slipped down from the balcony railing, and steadied herself with one hand, turning to look at his profile. "If there was some way for me to protect you from all of that, I would have. I know what it's like to have that feeling of helplessness, and the confusion, the anger...I lived through it all once. No one else should have had to go through what I had to. Especially not you two."
Chris shook his head ruefully. "Not everything goes your way, Brooklyn. It's time to learn that."
There was a long pause between the two of them, and in that time, she swore that she could hear every single one of the clicks from the cameras in the distance. Her head turned to the side slightly, and she continued to watch him. Her hand slipped from the balcony. "I know that. I never really thought that the world revolved around me. Who knows? It could have been an unconscious thing, but I don't THINK I was like that. And I have learned that not everything goes my way. Only a handful of things do."
Well, it had it's desired effect. He half smiled, looking out into the distance. "Yeah, once in awhile, huh?"
"Exactly." Slowly, as if she was afraid of what was going to happen, she reached out and touched the sleeve of his jacket. He didn't flinch, didn't move away. Then again, he didn't show any expression at all. They were more alike than she had originally thought. "I'm sorry, Chris. I know that it doesn't make up for anything, but the least I can do is offer my apologies to you. That's all I can really say to you. Thank you, for trying to help, but if you wouldn't mind, I just want to drop all of this. Everything that happened in the past while, I just want to forget it."
Inch by inch, his head turned towards her, and she almost cried with relief when she saw the familiar mischievous sparkle in them. "Oh, I don't know about that. You can't forget every little thing," he said, leaning against the railing, and looking at her carefully. "See, that's the problem with having a friend like me. I tend to bring things up when I shouldn't, and I can really piss a person off, but hey, I wouldn't be me if I didn't." His shoulders moved in a casual shrug. "But I feel cheated."
Her confusion showed in her eyes. "Cheated? Just how could you feel cheated, Mr. Kirkpatrick? I mean, you hang around with me, one of the best, if not THE best female country singers in the world. That should be more than enough," she told him sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
With a smirk, he shook his head. "Nice try, but how come I didn't get the whole flowers and candy treatment? Or are you saving that for JC?"
She smiled and reached for him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her smile became broader, and she hid it against his shoulder so that he wouldn't see it, as he tightened his arms around her waist. "I missed you, Chris."
"They all tell me that. Now, if I'm not mistaken, we need to get one very stubborn pop star out here to talk to a very beautiful country star. What do you say?"
As they pulled away, she reached up and tapped the end of his nose. "Oh, but we already got you out here." Shaking her head, she sighed, and stepped away completely. "Let's get to work."
Chris made sure that he looked angry when he walked back in, but only when he looked towards JC. Rolling his eyes, he forced himself not to laugh as he walked over to Joey. "Dude, we're helping her," he said, sticking his hands in his pockets and moving back and forth on his heels.
A surprised look overcame him. "Are you...you mean...that was fast."
He shrugged. "Hell, if she didn't come up to me today, or you force me to see her, then I would have went to her tomorrow. No big deal. I had to put up a fight for appearance."
"If you three aren't the most stubborn people in the world, I'm Santa Claus in disguise."
"You better start practicing your 'ho ho ho' and slipping in and out of chimneys, because we probably are the most three stubborn people. The only thing is, I'm not quite as stubborn anymore, and neither is Brooke. Now, all we have to do is convince the other stubborn one to go out there and talk to her." When Joey sent him a blank look, he sighed and raised his hands. "Look, I've come up with enough plans that include the two of them. It's someone else's turn. Pick something that will interest him, and work on that."
Scratching his head, he looked around for a minute, trying to think of something. "He was supposed to work on Brooke's album, right?" Chris nodded slowly. "I'll go tell him that there's someone outside that wants to talk to him about producing some tracks on an album. That should get his attention, and I don't think that he's seen Brooke yet. That'll help."
"It'll work, I guess. You'll have to make an excuse as to why they're going to be outside, but you're smart enough, I suppose. I'm going to go get a drink. Do you need help blocking the door when he goes out there?"
His head shook. "Nah, if I could hold you back, then I can hold him. You do realize that you guys owe me big for this. I should be out there, dancing, but no, I've got to help you guys...this wasn't part of my contract."
"A new clause was just added. Just go, would you?" Chris pushed him in JC's direction before sending him another cold look and walking over to the bar.
Joey sighed, running his hand through his hair before he stepped up next to him. "Hey, Jace? Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked hopefully.
The poem that was used in the last few chapters (which includes the line on the bracelet, and what JC said) is written by John H. Rhodes. And, if you're wondering where I got it from, I got it from a greeting card program on my computer, from where you insert someone else's words as your own. Cheap Hallmark wannabe, but what can you do?
Chapter Thirty Two, Continued
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